The idea of going down there scared her to death. The things she’d seen were too horrific to face, and she knew that if she went down there, those memories would force their way to the front of her mind, demanding that she relive them.
She couldn’t do it. She wasn’t strong enough.
But she also couldn’t leave a man she cared about to dive alone into a dangerous situation when her presence could mean the difference between life and death.
As much as she hated it, she knew what she had to do.
With a silent curse for having been dragged into this situation—into this world she wanted no part of—she shoved her way out of the car and stomped to the back of the SUV. “I’m going in with you.”
“Like hell,” he said, his tone flat and final.
No way was she going to let him make this decision for her. She was a grown woman, and in some ways more powerful than he was. He didn’t get to boss her around. “I can go in with you, or I can wait until you’re down there, and then go in. I don’t know much about rappelling gear, so I could break my neck getting in, but I am going in.”
He lifted his head from the ropes he was toying with and gave her a hard stare. “You were held prisoner here.”
“I know.”
“It scares you shitless to think about going down there. I’ve felt it.”
“I know. I’m also scared to stay up here alone. I’m pretty much doomed to be afraid tonight, so I might as well do the right thing.”
“There’s no way to know what we’ll see.”
“I’m not a child.”
“No, but there could be one down there. If there is, we may not be able to rescue them—at least not without backup. Are you going to be able to do that? Are you going to be able to walk away from a child in need?”
She knew that was beyond her, but it changed nothing. If she went down there, then any child in captivity would have a better chance of surviving with her help. “I’m going down there, Iain.”
Anger tightened his jaw, making muscles bulge beneath his skin. “I could duct tape your ass in the seat.”
“And leave me helpless to defend myself? You’d never do that.”
“I can’t risk your life letting you go down there. My brothers need you too much.”
“It’s not your life to risk. It’s mine.”
His nostrils flared and he shook his head, cursing beneath his breath. “Why are you being so obstinate?”
“Because you need me. Because despite the fact that you seem to have little regard for your own life, I happen to regard it very highly.”
His gaze slid away as if he was trying to hide something. “Don’t get too attached to me. We won’t be working together long.”
“So you’ve figured out a way to break our connection?” For some reason, the idea didn’t seem as appealing as it had before. Maybe it was some kind of inherent magic in the luceria that tied them together, or maybe it was that she was no longer quite so appalled by the idea of sharing her emotions, but whatever the case, she was becoming used to having him around. She was getting used to having so much power as well, but even if she tapped into that of another man, she was sure it wouldn’t feel the same. She wasn’t sure she even wanted it to feel the same, as if that would somehow be cheating.
“I’m working on it,” he said.
“How?”
“Don’t worry about that right now. We need to focus on what we’re doing here and now.”
We. A jolt of victory shot through her as she realized she’d won. Then all she felt was dread, because she’d won. She was going down into that cave with him.
* * *
Iain kept careful tabs on Jackie, opening himself to let her chaotic emotions trickle into him. It seemed to feed his rage, but he couldn’t tell if that was because he was somehow fueling his own feelings, or if it was a reaction to the trembling pile of fear she was putting off.
Either way, the monster within him—the one that Tynan had put to sleep somehow—was slowly waking and growing in strength. He could feel it happening and knew it wouldn’t be long before he was right back where he’d been, fighting the constant need to kill.
He buckled Jackie into a harness, making sure that her face shield was in place. The magically enhanced trench coat she wore would protect her from some attacks, but he didn’t plan to let her get close enough to need it.
They lowered themselves down. He kept tabs on her progress, staying by her side in case she started to panic. To her credit, she kept herself in control, even though he could feel how desperately she was fighting her fear.
Once this was done, he was going to inform Joseph that she needed to be kept out of combat situations. She wasn’t ready for this. It was too much to ask of her, no matter how brave a face she put on.
They hit the floor of the cave. Jackie’s breathing was shallow and fast, and he could feel little spurts of panic trembling through their link, beating in time with her frantic heartbeat.
He scanned the area, seeing no sign of demons this close to the entrance. During the day, it would be a dangerous place for Synestryn, so chances were they were deeper, where no light could reach.
Iain disconnected her line from the harness and cupped her face in his hands. She was so pretty, even though she was too pale and her gray eyes were wide with fear. He wanted to do something to ease her, but he was out of practice with such things, unsure what to do to comfort her.
The best he could offer was a distraction.
He lowered his mouth to hers, giving her the briefest, fleeting kiss. He knew if he let himself go further, he’d forget there was danger lurking nearby. She went to his head, driving out all rational thought.