She’d almost made it to the door that led to the dressing rooms backstage when Brian burst through the door and she staggered backwards. He steadied her with both hands.
“They actually started without me? I can’t f**king believe this,” he said.
“You have nothing to worry about, Master Sinclair. Your adoring audience awaits,” she said and jerked out of his grip before racing to Sinners’ empty dressing room.
She went straight for her cell phone and dialed Ethan. He was there. He was always there. He listened to her tirade about the entire incident from before the show until the instant she’d called him. And then he listened to the confession of her fears. And then her discourse of self-pity. And finally her indignation at being treated that way for doing someone a favor. After she’d unloaded all of her feelings, Ethan said, “Are you ready to give up and come home then?”
“No, I’m not ready to come home. You don’t think one little catastrophe is going to make me give up this dream, do you?”
“Nope, but with all that bitching, I thought maybe you’d changed your mind about what you wanted.”
She wished he was there so she could glare at him. “I just needed someone to talk to.”
“And where is that wonderful boyfriend of yours?”
“He’s onstage right now.”
“Does he know you call me every time you have a problem?”
“If you don’t want me to call you anymore, I won’t.”
“I do want you to call me, Reagan. I just wondered if he knew.”
“When he’s around, the last thing on my mind is my stupid little problems.”
“And the first thing on your mind?”
She grinned to herself. “His tongue.”
Ethan chuckled. “I bet. So other than getting hit with a shoe, how is everything going? Are you learning how to be a rock star?”
“Not a very good one,” she admitted.
Chapter 16
Sed had asked the entire band to be there when he confronted Brian. They were there, but not a one of them looked the least bit happy about it. Trey felt sick to his stomach. He already knew what Brian would choose. It wasn’t them.
Brian yawned as he came out of the bedroom with his carry-on bag slung over one shoulder. He paused when he noticed his bandmates blocking his route off the bus.
“I called and cancelled your flight,” Sed said.
Trey wasn’t sure if Sed was bluffing, but it seemed a pretty extreme measure even for Sed—king of extreme measures.
“You did what?” Brian asked, his weariness instantly replaced with rage.
“You’re not going back to L.A. tonight.”
“Get out of my way,” Brian demanded.
“You look like shit, dude,” Eric said. “We all think you should stay on the bus tonight and get some rest. You can go back to L.A. the day after tomorrow when we have three days between shows instead of just one. And then we have two more back-to-back shows before our week off. You can see them as much as you want then.”
“When we’re not rehearsing for the new tour,” Sed added.
“Don’t pull this shit with me right now,” Brian said. “It’s the last thing I need.”
“Could Myrna come see you instead?” Jace asked. “Bring the baby with her?”
“Malcolm is too young to travel.” The hopeless look on his face was like a knife to Trey’s heart. Trey had been so caught up with Reagan, he’d failed his best friend. Brian shouldered a lot of burden right now and Trey hadn’t even bothered to talk to him about it. When had they gone from a friendship where they shared everything to a couple of guys who just hung out with each other very occasionally?
Trey took Brian by one arm and pushed him into the bedroom. He caught Sed’s puzzled expression just before he closed the door in his face.
“You’re not going to talk me out of leaving,” Brian said. “I have to go back tonight. I promised Myrna.”
“Does she realize how exhausted you are?” Trey asked. He knew Myrna. She wouldn’t want Brian to wear himself down like this.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine, Brian. You can’t keep going like this. Do you want to cancel the rest of the tour dates? I’ll side with you no matter what. Just tell me what you want to do.”
“I want to hold my son.” His hand was trembling when he pressed his fingertips to his forehead.
Then that’s what he was going to do. “I’ll contact Jerry,” Trey said. “Tell him to call off the last three shows.”
Brian shook his head. “No. We need to finish out the tour. I can do this for another week.”
“And then what are you going to do? We go back on the road just one week after this tour ends.”
“You don’t think I know that?” Trey felt the crack in Brian’s voice in his chest.
Trey sighed. “You can’t keep this up, Brian. What does Myrna say about this crazy schedule you’re keeping?”
Brian lowered his gaze. “She tries to be strong when I leave. Says she and Malcolm will miss me, but they’ll be fine while I’m gone.”
“Jessica and Aggie are still helping her out, aren’t they?”
“Yeah.”
“Dare?”
“Yeah, everyone’s great. Maybe they are fine when I’m gone. Maybe what I really want is for them to need me more.”
Trey squeezed his shoulder. “Hey. Don’t say that. They need you. I know for a fact that Myrna cries when you’re gone. She misses you so much more than she’s letting on.”
Brian’s breath caught and he shoved Trey aside as he reached for the doorknob. Trey probably shouldn’t have told him that Myrna cried. He grabbed Brian’s arm again and hauled him away from the door.
“Trey, I have to go. I’m not going to be like my father. I promised myself that I’d always be there for them both. I’m not going to let them wonder if they’re important to me. Or if I love them. I’m going to tell them to their faces every goddamn day.”
Now they were making progress. Brian’s father had been a famous guitarist while Brian had been growing up. Malcolm O’Neil had used touring as an excuse to ignore his family, and he’d never been there for Brian when he’d needed him. “You’re not like your father, Brian.”
“But I could be. It would be a lot f**king easier if I was.” Brian pressed his fists against his temples and took a deep breath.