His touch was sexual.
Yet it wasn’t. It was simply more , and I was terrified to put a name to it.
So I didn’t think about it at all.
I just went with it.
THE NEXT MORNING I woke up around five thirty, left Elizabeth in bed, and headed to the gym before class. I’d been going early so I could catch the contractors who were working on the updates.
After the gym, I left for class and met Dax at our usual spot outside the humanities building. We hadn’t seen each other much in the past few days, mostly because I was caught up in the gym and my classes while he was partying at the frat house. At least we had one class together, although it was hard to watch him sit next to Elizabeth each day and flirt with her.
“What do you think of Elizabeth?” he asked as we walked up the stairs to the third floor and came out onto the hallway.
He’d brought her up when I’d been thinking about her? “My Elizabeth?”
He paused mid-stride and flicked his eyes at me. “Yours? You shagged her?”
“No.”
“I’m sensing a but here.”
“Don’t be a knobhead.” I resisted the urge to shove him up against the wall.
Jealous of my own brother. Sad.
He stiffened. “What’s your deal? I’m just making conversation about a girl in class.” His eyes searched mine. “And let’s just say for argument’s sake that I wanted to shag her—would you be okay with it?”
I shrugged. “You’re your own person. Do whatever the bloody hell you want.”
He rubbed his jaw, studying me with narrowed eyes. “You seem a bit off. You okay?”
Just then Nadia and Donatello came down the hall toward us, effectively ending our convo. I didn’t miss that Nadia’s eyes lingered on me, a pleading look in them. I ignored her for the most part, but judging from her tight face and Donatello’s sullen expression, there was trouble in paradise.
They stopped in front of us, mostly because the line of bodies moving had come to a standstill. It was unavoidable we’d bump into each other. This was a small uni. I hadn’t talked to her since the frat party, and although she hadn’t been on my mind, her family had.
“How’s your mum?” I asked, as Ninja Turtle wandered off to talk to some of the tennis lads who were standing near a classroom door.
She got misty-eyed. “She started chemo, and it goes for twelve weeks. I—I’m headed home this weekend to see her.”
I nodded. “I’m sorry. Mum never took chemo. There wasn’t time or any reason to.”
She cleared her throat and changed gears. “On the other hand, my sorority is having our annual back to school mixer next week. You’re invited.”
“We’re over, Nadia. I won’t be coming.”
Dax raised his eyebrows and bounced his eyes between us, and then over to Donatello.
“I know.” Her hand caressed my arm and then dropped. “But I still care about you, Declan. Just think about it.”
She waved bye and wandered back to her boyfriend.
Dax snorted. “You’re way too easy on her. Everyone here is wondering why you haven’t kicked Donatello’s arse, too.”
I shrugged. “Some things are worth it and some aren’t.”
We walked into the auditorium for Lit class. Wearing a skimpy top and a miniskirt, Lorna waved at me, pointing at the same seat where I’d been sitting next to her since class started a week ago.
Dax chuckled. “Looks like someone wants to be the next girl Dirty English chooses.”
But my eyes went to Elizabeth. She sat in front of Lorna, her head bent low as she flipped through the pages of her textbook. She hadn’t even noticed I was here.
Dax left me to sit next to Elizabeth. He plopped down next to her, and they immediately began talking. Of course, Dax did most of the talking while she listened.
Envy ate at me. I wanted to be in his seat.
Dr. Feldman took to the podium, and I tried to focus on the lesson.
Usually, I was riveted, but today I barely listened.
My eyes were never off Dax and Elizabeth.
“I WISH YOU were rich like me. It’s not fair you have to work all the time. And if you’re not working, you’re studying. It’s a shame you’re missing out on the true college experience,” Shelley complained as I unpacked new textbooks that had come in for the bookstore. She smiled. “But don’t you love me for coming to keep you company?”
I rolled my eyes at her. “Whitman isn’t cheap, and we can’t all have daddies that pay our Amex card every month.”
She made a moue with her lips. “We could probably figure out a way for him to pay your bills too. He’d never know probably.”
I shook my head. “I pay my own way. Always have. I’m here for a top notch education …”
“So you never have to depend on a loser like your poor mom does … I know, I know. You say it all the dang time. Trust me, you are never going to end up with some car salesman from Petal who wears Hawaiian shirts. But if you want to meet a nice, rich guy, then you need to get out more.”
“Working makes me feel good about myself. You should try it.”
She sent me a disbelieving glare. “I just buy shoes to feel good—or jewelry. Speaking of, have you seen the new line of James Avery necklaces? God, totally gorgeous with these little silver charms everywhere. And you could totally do it, Elizabeth. Your drawings are much better than half the stuff I see.”