My gaze jumped from the stars to him. Both equally stunning. His eyes shone in the moonlight, which was singularly useless. I couldn’t read him at all. I needed more light to see his expression, so I could figure out where this was going.
“You’ve done nothing but show me who you are since I met you,” he said.
And that right there was the problem. “I’m not sure it’s fair to judge me on recent events. The last few days have quite possibly been among the most bizarre and traumatic of my life.”
“Lydia, you’ve broken into my house, punched a lying asshole in the nose, stayed with me when I didn’t want to be alone, stepped in to help my sister’s business, forgiven me when I behaved like a dickhead, cleaned me and my house up after a brawl, and pushed me into having rough sex with you.”
“… yeah.”
“Yeah,” he repeated. “I like you. But more than that, I trust you.”
“Wow. That’s what you get from all that?”
“That’s what I get.”
I raised my brows, looking away. It was a lot to take in. More than I needed or less than I wanted, I couldn’t quite decide. Confusion of the heart is a bitch. Assuming like, the same as love, came from the vascular muscle, of course. Crazy obviously came from the head and the loins.
So while the sane part of my head was saying things like “it’s only temporary” and “take it easy,” the crazy part was shouting “ooh look, it’s Vaughan, he’s so pretty and shiny and makes you feel good” and “jump on the man, for fuck’s sake.” And that part was much, much louder. Crazy was a bit of a whore, god bless her.
At any rate, my body was at war. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream would hit the spot. Insert heavy sigh here.
“What was that for?” asked Vaughan.
“Ice cream.”
“Right. We don’t have any.” A pause. “I think there’s some of Nell’s flourless chocolate cake in the fridge. Will that do instead?”
“I suppose so.” God, life was so hard. I took a swig of beer, firmly pushing all my deep and insane thoughts aside. Enough already. “Do you feel any better now that you’ve done the garden?”
He took his turn releasing a heavy sigh. “Honestly, I don’t know. Being back here … Andre was right. It is fucking with me.”
I kept quiet, letting him work it through.
“I keep expecting to see Dad come out of the garage. Hear Mom yell at me from the kitchen about something.” Light glinted off his bottle as he held it to his lips and drank deep. “Away from here, I could just ignore their absence. Pretend they didn’t die in that car crash, like the funeral was just some shitty dream.”
In a sudden burst of rage he surged up, throwing the bottle of beer at the back fence. It didn’t shatter and break. There was no satisfying smash of destruction. The bottle just hit the fence and fell behind the bushes, landing in the dirt with a soft thud. Such a weak, useless response.
“Fuck!” Vaughan lay back down, staring up at the night sky. Pain and anger flowed off him in waves, filling the darkness.
No light was needed for me to feel it. And it hurt.
“Babe,” he said, voice guttural. He lifted his hand, beckoning me forward with his fingers.
I set my drink aside, going to him without thinking. The man just had that kind of power over me. “What can I get for you?”
No response.
“Vaughan?”
I knelt at his side, better able to see him up close. Sweat or something else dampened his face. Dirt and grass stained his beautiful body. The man was a mess. He sat up, grabbing hold of my face and bringing his mouth to mine. Hot wet kisses and frenzied hands. The taste of him drove me wild. It all happened so fast it was dizzying. First his thumbs stroked my cheeks, hands holding me in place. Then he had one arm around my waist and a hand gripping my thigh, maneuvering me over him. Knees pressing into the manicured lawn, I found myself straddling him before I even knew what he wanted.
Luckily I’d worn a dress.
Touching the man made me high. All that bare skin and violent need, just for me. He fed me passionate kisses, making my insides melt. My thigh muscles quivered, the feel of him hardening against me was breathtaking. Immediately my girl parts kicked into gear. They knew how superb it felt to have him inside and wanted him to make a return visit.
If he needed it, I’d fuck the fear of death out of him, chase away the hurt of old memories.
If he wanted it, I wouldn’t think twice.
Fingers pushed down my panties. Not that they could go far. He kneaded my ass, still kissing me senseless. I ground myself against him, panting. So good. His tongue in my mouth, his breath in my lungs. Making out like crazy in the backyard of his childhood home. I couldn’t care less if anyone could see.