The wall felt cool against my back when he pressed me against it this time, but I was different now. I was done turning him away. He was mine, and I’d never let him go. I curled a thigh around his hip, then he lifted me. In his ferocity, he was a selfish lover, hard hands on my hips, working in mad, deep thrusts.
I urged him on with nails in his shoulder. In this position, I couldn’t move much. He was in control. He liked domination when the protective urge rose—and submission when it didn’t. In turn, I enjoyed him tied to my bed, but I also enjoyed the rare sense that I’d lost control.
And then I did. I screamed and scratched, rational thought gone. He arched into me and came in hard pulses that left him weak. Both shaking, we staggered to the bed and collapsed on it. Chance wrapped his arms around me as if he couldn’t bear to lose contact with me for even a moment. I’d never permitted myself to bond so deeply with a lover before. He was in my head, my heart, down to blood and bone. Somehow, her feelings had become mine. She had gouged out a channel inside me that belonged to him alone.
“Better?” I whispered, kissing his shoulder where I’d scratched him.
Shivers still wracked him, but he smiled at me with eyes gone molten gold with satiation. “More relaxed, anyway.”
“Are you sorry you came with her?”
He ran his fingers through his hair as he considered. “No. I can’t claim I dreamed of reigning and having babies in hell, but it’s not terrible.”
I nodded, curling into his arms. “Sheol has its beauties.”
“Like you.” He kissed the top of my head. “I was so scared I’d lose you…and this time, there’d be no coming back from it, no chance to beat the odds.”
“You mean because I’d be all Ninlil and no Corine?” That didn’t trouble me; he had loved her first, but he cared for me too. He was, truly, an extraordinary male.
“Yeah.”
“I didn’t want to destroy her. Only survive. The angels took everything from me…and I had harmed no humans. I seek no foothold there. My subjects come to earth in response to human ceremonies, complete with offerings and rituals!” Even now, the unfairness of it boiled my blood.
“I don’t think most people realize that.” Chance levered up on one elbow. “Explain to me why angels and demons hate each other so much. They say you fell or something? There was a rebellion in heaven?”
The question distracted me from what might be happening downstairs. Anger lanced through me. “That’s rubbish. If there is a heaven, the angels have never seen it. They create their own legends, every eon or so, and then update all the manuals.”
“There are manuals?” he asked, a brow arched in surprise.
“I don’t know. I was being sarcastic. The truth is, angels and demons are descended from the same lineage. They come from Sheol, just as we do. It’s not heaven or hell.…It’s just another realm.”
“Interesting.”
“There was a civil war, but it wasn’t over God or divine orders. It was so long ago that even our records are incomplete. I only know it had to do with a question of succession. It was before the first Ninlil took the throne, before the castes formed as we know them. There were only two types early in our history…the winged and the walkers. We were more beautiful then too, but once half our number left, it led to inbreeding, and you end up with monstrous creatures like the Noit and the Aronesti.”
“What happened next?”
“The demons won,” I said quietly. “We booted the losers out of our realm to yours, where they went to work interfering with the course of human history. Now they have a new tale, a new hierarchy, but it’s nonsense. An ancient ka, who calls himself an archangel, organizes their mythology according to his personal agenda.”
Chance frowned; I had succeeded in rattling him. “Ka?”
“In some old languages, it means spirit and that is an accurate enough name for us, what we used to be.” It hurt me to remember these things because then I had to consider how I’d learned them. The information I gave Chance had not come to me easily or without anguish.
As if he keyed into my thoughts, Chance asked, “How do you know all this? You said the records are incomplete.”
Hard to explain in words, but: “When the archangel summoned me, there was a moment of unity, where I knew him…all his thoughts and memories. Some of it stayed with me, after I was wrenched away and he bound me to the Solomon line.”
“So you saw inside this…archangel?” I could tell he no longer liked the term.
“Yes. He was very old. He would have been a king in Sheol with such power.”
Chance nodded. “He might have led the revolt.”
“If I ever knew, it was not one of the memories that stayed with me.” A half shrug in apology—I was not the queen I had been—but sometimes different didn’t mean lesser. Perhaps the kindness that came from my human half permitted me to see things in a new light, and would result in a brighter future for Xibalba.
The light of debate sparked in his eyes. “You’re very critical of how the angels interfere in the human world, but how are demons better? So many are just so…evil.”
I raised a brow. “So are humans. Am I to judge your race on those who prey on children and dismember their loved ones? You have not met every demon in Xibalba. Many are interested only in living their lives. Some enjoy pain. Others craft magickal trinkets. Do you see a pattern?”
A wince revealed that I’d scored a hit. “You’re saying demons are like humans, some good, some bad, some neither.”
“But I would, wouldn’t I? Especially if I’m an amoral, lying she-devil who only wants to steal your seed.”
He laughed softly. “A pity I keep ruining the challenge by giving it to you. Why do you think he summoned you?”
More anger, dagger sharp. “He wanted a general for their war against us. They bred among you in the early days and gave birth to the most brutal of their foot soldiers, the Nephilim. Since then, these angels have used humans as their pawns. I see nothing good in the way they kill, convicting their victims on blind faith.” I shuddered, remembering. “I loathe knowing she shared this body with one.”
“I…what?” Beside me, Chance froze. “Corine…?”
“Before I woke, she slept with one. You call him Kel.”
“I knew about that. Not that he’s Nephilim. He says he’s the Hand of God.”