Oh, holy God.
Reaching into his pocket a second time, he revealed a thick leather cuff with matching silver padlock. He murmured, “Every time we go to sleep, I’ll wear this. If I forget to put it on, you must tell me.”
I didn’t want to ask why. Don’t ask why.
“Why?” I breathed.
His eyes flashed. “Because if you don’t, I can’t promise you’ll wake up alive. What I did to you in my office was nothing. I have no control when someone touches me, so make sure you don’t.”
My heart stopped. The way he said it so matter-of-fact chilled me to the bone. He wasn’t dramatizing it—it just simply was.
I tried to hide my fear, locking it away beneath iron-willed control. “Okay.”
“This agreement between us is to fulfill one need only. And I don’t need the uncertainty of you being able to touch me whenever you damn well please.” He looked sleek and ruthless. A thrill shot through me.
“What makes you think I want to touch you willingly?”
He frowned, clenching his jaw. “I don’t care. This way, you can’t.”
We glared at each other. Coming forward, he overpowered me as his persona changed from angry owner to interested predator. My breath quickened in response.
In one fast move, Fox grabbed the sheet hiding my legs and tore it off. I flinched in shock, but didn’t care about modesty; all I cared about was the desolate resolution in his eyes.
“I’ve wanted you since I set eyes on you, and I’m going to take you.”
His large hands grasped my hips and flipped me over. I cried out as he propped me on hands and knees with effortless strength. “I made another promise I can’t keep,” he murmured, dragging his nose along my spine. “I thought I could do it, but it’s not possible.”
His hot breath tingled my back as he reached below and grabbed my breast with harsh fingers.
I shuddered, cursing my body warming for him, melting for him. I should hate the roughness, the lack of humanity in his touch, but he’d ignited the dynamite in my blood with his harsh, unloving commands.
“What promise?” I whispered, already panting.
His fingers hooked onto the sides of my knickers, pulling them down my hips until they rested around my knees on the bed. He groaned as he pushed my legs apart, exposing me.
My head lolled forward as he climbed behind me. The rustle of clothing being removed made my mouth go dry and my heart stop beating.
His finger traced the crack of my ass, dipping lower, following my heat until he found wetness. “Fuck me,” he muttered before swirling the tip of his finger around my entrance. “God, you’re wet.”
My back bowed; my limbs trembled. I’d gone from tense to needing him in one second flat. The tip of his finger entered me before swirling back up to press against my clit.
“I promised I’d make you enjoy fucking me as much as I’d enjoying fucking you.” He bent over, smothering my back with his torso. His teeth grazed my neck as the thick hardness of his cock nudged my core. “To do that I’d have to touch you. I’d have to let my guard down. I don’t have the strength.”
One hand grabbed a fistful of hair, jerking my neck back while another secured my hip, pinning me in place. His erection rocked against my outer flesh, hot and hard.
I wasn’t ready.
I’m not ready.
Fear lit up my heart and I wiggled, trying to dislodge his hold. “Wait. No—”
“I’m sorry, dobycha,” he groaned, thrusting violently, coldly, viciously into me. My elbows gave way and I fell headfirst into the pillow. My bound hands couldn’t support me.
Everything burned. Everything hurt.
I gasped for breath, sucking in material as the searing, frightening pain of being taken violently made me cry out. Hot tears were absorbed instantly by the pillow as Fox rammed into me again. He lost himself, turning inhuman as he rode me. My scalp screamed where he held me captive by my hair.
Gone was the lust; the sparks of need in my blood. All I felt was used and nothing more than trash.
I bit my lip till I drew blood as he withdrew, only to slam into me again. “Yes. Fuck.” He sounded far away, no longer with me mentally.
His fingers gripped my hips, holding me in place as he savagely thrust. Every pound sent shockwaves of agony through me. His hipbones dug into my ass, adding more bruises to the internal ones.
If there was any blessing in being taken so horribly, it was how soon it was over. Fox thrust harder and harder, driving me deeper and deeper into the pillow. He filled me to the brink until I thought I’d split in two.
But then he froze, jetting hot wetness deep inside me, groaning. The second the last pulse of his release filled me, he pulled out and climbed off the bed.
My entire body trembled with adrenaline and unhappiness. I didn’t dare move until the sound of the bedroom door opened and closed, as Fox left me. With a ragged gasp, I flopped to my side and curled into a tight ball.
The stickiness of his come smeared my inner thighs, and the chain cuffs dug into my wrists, but I couldn’t bring myself to move.
I couldn’t bring myself to think or curse or run.
Yet again life proved I was an idiot. A greedy money-grubber who thought she could see something dark and troubled in a man. Who believed in the fundamental goodness of people enough to let herself be used and tossed away.
It’d happened before. It’d happened again. I hadn’t learned my lesson.
I lay with my eyes wide open, watching the slow journey of the sun from sunrise to high noon to sunset. I couldn’t bring myself to think how to fix this or even to think of Clara.
I’d besmirched myself, tarnishing my hope with reality.
Fuck two hundred thousand dollars. Fuck him.
When twilight fell and I’d had enough of wallowing in the filth I’d created, I stood gingerly and hobbled to the bathroom.
Avoiding looking in the mirror, I focused on the silver around my wrists. With gritted teeth, I yanked them with all my strength, sweating with effort until a link pried open, allowing me to get free.
I couldn’t remove the necklace or belly chain, but at least my hands were free. Free to shower, get dressed, and walk out the fucking door.
Obsidian Fox had messed with the wrong girl. I would leave, then I would come back and make him regret ever hurting me.
I would teach him that even though he might be haunted, it gave him no right, none, to hurt others.
I would be his nightmare.
Chapter 8
Life was never easy.
I learned that thanks to a rigorous training program that left me mostly dead and fumbling for a way back to life.
I didn’t make excuses for my behaviour. I knew what I was.
But I found a way to deal with the blackness in my brain. I found unwilling victims and gave them my pain. It was a trade-off and it worked—for a time.
I thought I could wipe my violent past free all thanks to the cure I’d found in one woman.
I piled all my hopes and pleas and prayers into a miracle, and it fucking ruined me when it turned out to be false.
Instead of treating her kindly, I slipped back to the past and lost.
I raped her. I hurt her. I made her run and leave me.
I should’ve known inviting a fierce woman into my life would only make it worse.
She succeeded in being my personal hell.
She made sure to break me.
Fuck.
I couldn’t believe what I’d done. I couldn’t believe I’d taken her so rough with no fucking remorse or thought to her safety.
The instant she was bound, instead of being soothed by being in control, it made me snap.
Fuck!
I was the biggest bastard alive.
I couldn’t stand to be around her—knowing I ruined everything. I did the only thing I could do to protect her.
I ran.
I returned to the basement to pummel my anger into a piece of bronze. I fucked up by taking her so fast. I forced myself on her and was no better than rapist scum.
Bastard!
I cowered away and leeched my pain by branding the sole of my foot with a hot piece of iron. The stench of burning flesh helped purify my thoughts, giving me a respite from the monstrous things I’d done.
Only once I could think straight and resembled a human rather than a beast, did I search for her to apologise. I turned my house upside down, searching.
I couldn’t find her.
Anywhere.
Everywhere I looked, it was empty. Every room. Every space.
I’d damaged whatever existed between us, but I hadn’t expected her to abandon me.
You fucking raped her, you idiot!
I’d done to her what I’d sworn never to do again—I took someone’s free will and made them do something against their wishes. I was no better than them.
She was gone.
Gone!
The club opened at nine p.m., and I waited for Oscar at the top of the stairs, quaking with helplessness and rage. The moment he showed up, I roared, “You let her fucking leave?”
Oscar climbed the last stair with the stiffness of preparation for a fight. His shoulders tensed, face darkened.
I clenched and unclenched my fists. How dare she disappear! I couldn’t let it end like that. I had to make her forgive me. I had to apologise. I needed a fucking second chance.
He glared bloody murder, blue eyes tearing into mine. “What the fuck was I supposed to do? She’s a free woman, not a captive! She asked for a lift a few hours ago and I agreed.” Coming closer, he seethed, “What the hell did you do to her last night, Fox? She walked out of here as if she’d been used by a fucking stallion.” His gaze shot me with bullets of rage. “I hope you got your money’s worth because I doubt she’ll be coming back.”
This was the same prick who’d scorned Zel last night. The same man who looked at Zel as if she were a succubus out to steal my soul.
“That’s none of your fucking business. She was mine. We had a deal!”
“A deal? What? Where you were allowed to destroy the poor girl? Don’t make me laugh.”
My rage morphed into white-hot anger. Oscar couldn’t point fingers. Fucking hypocrite. He had more women than I’d ever met. He used them and cast them aside with no thought to their feelings.
“At least I’ve only hurt one.” I narrowed my eyes, daring him to argue.
Oscar’s mouth hung open. “Screw you. I fuck women who want me to fuck them. I don’t kidnap them and then rape them. For God’s sake, we’ll have the police here if she decides to lay charges.”
The thought of being touched by many, of being handcuffed and trapped in a cage, undid my shaky sanity even further. I was done living in cages, belonging to others. I was done.
I couldn’t speak. Anger closed my throat as I stood precariously close to the edge I was always one-step away from plummeting off.
“I fucked her. So what?”
Oscar came forward. “Please tell me she wanted it or so help me. We may be business partners, Fox, and I don’t know what shit you dealt with in your past, but if you raped her, I’ll kill you myself.”
The switch deep inside—the one I always struggled with keeping off—flicked on. The compassion I’d fought so hard to cultivate disappeared in a puff of smoke. Every lesson I’d ever learned, all the pain I’d suffered, all the blood I’d spilled swamped me in a cloud of contamination.
“You think you could kill me?” My voice never rose past a whisper, but it throbbed with a threat.
The noise of fighters pummelling each other in Obsidian below pricked my skin with energy.
Violence. Blood. Pain. It was my DNA. The only reason I was born—the only reason why I was still alive.
I took one step toward Oscar. His healthy tan faded as fear whitewashed his features. Instead of backing down, he stepped forward until only a foot separated us. “I think you need some serious fucking help, Fox. The way you were with that woman last night, it was obsessive. You seemed completely different. Good different.” His voice lost the angry edge. “You seemed human for the first time since we met. You need to apologise if you have any hope of fixing it.”