“Neither,” I reply carefully.
“Oh,” she says. Her smile falters, and is replaced by a fake one. “That’s fine, I need to work late anyway.”
The elevator doors chime, and Cassey tries to get past me. I grab her elbow, and pull her back in.
“This car is full,” I tell the people wanting to get on. “Take the next one.” The doors close and I press the emergency button to stop the elevator from going anywhere. I take hold of Cassey’s chin, and lift her head so I can see her eyes. They’ve always told me how she’s feeling, even if she doesn’t know it. We can be lounging around on the sofa, or tangled and sweaty in sheets, but I can always see what she’s really feeling with one look into those green eyes.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“Nothing,” she replies, too preppy.
“You’re lying. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing, Kyler, I’m fine. You should have fun tonight, with whoever you’re going to be with.”
I look at her, and then understanding dawns. I can’t help the smirk that slips across my face. “You think I’m going on a date.”
“What?” Cassey asks, her voice rising a few octaves. “No! That’s silly.” I cup her face, and grin down at her. “It’s not a date,” I tell her. “I’m meeting some friends at ‘The Iron Maiden’ after work, and I don’t know what time I’ll be back. As much as I want you to be in my bed when I get home, I don’t want you to wait up for me.”
“Oh.”
I chuckle. “You know, Cass, your jealous side is kind of turning me on right now.”
“I’m not jealous,” she replies, slapping my chest lightly.
“Yes.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss. “Are.”
The elevator intercom buzzes, and we both freeze.
“Mr. Knight,” the voice says. “Is everything okay?”
I turn slightly, making sure my body shields Cassey, and glare at the security camera as if it’s a person. “Yes, Burton. Everything is fine.”
“Sorry sir, but we need to get the elevator moving again.”
I scowl at the camera, and reluctantly press the emergency button again to get the elevator moving again. Cassey giggles, and nibbles her lip. “Give me that lip,” I tell her. I suck it into my mouth just as the elevator doors open.
“Have a great day, Mr. Knight,” Cassey purrs. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” The thought of waiting that long to see her again doesn’t excite me. It’s going to be a long twenty four hours.
∞
I walk through the hospital doors and turn left towards the oncology wing. It’s still difficult to walk down this hallway knowing I’m her to see my Father. The reality of it all is something I have to face every day, and it seems harder than the day before. When I reach my Father’s room, I find my Mother, Jessa, and Dr. Jameson deep in discussion. The look on my Mother’s face makes me panic. Her eyes are bloodshot, and her cheeks are wet. I look at my father and notice that he looks worse than he did yesterday. Something feels wrong here, and my stomach sinks.
“Mr. Knight,” Dr. Jameson greets. “I’m glad you’re here. You’ll want to be here for this.”
“What’s going on?” I ask quickly. “What’s wrong?”
“Kyler.” Jessa reaches out to touch my arm but I pull away. Why the fuck is she even here? “The doctor was just about to tell us, calm down.” Calm down? Is this woman on crack?
“What’s going on?” I ask, again. I ignore Jessa and look between my parents. My Father looks worse than he did yesterday, and I hate seeing him so frail. He was always the strong one in our family, and now he’s withering away. It’s harrowing to watch, I can’t imagine how he feels.
“Mr. Knight,” Dr. Jameson begins. “We’ve run some more tests, and it appears that your father’s cancer has spread to his lungs.”
My Mother sobs. Her knees buckle, and I push Jessa out of the way so I can comfort her. I kiss my Mother’s head, and feel her body shake in my arms. My Father hasn’t said anything. He’s too calm as he lies there, looking at us. “Do we have any options?” I ask, looking at Dr. Jameson.
“I’m afraid there’s nothing we can do except make your father as comfortable as possible.”
“How l-long d-do we have?” my Mother asks. Her voice sounds broken and desolate, and it breaks my heart.
“It’s difficult to say,” Dr. Jameson replies with sympathy filled eyes. “In most cases such as this, the patient has as long as four weeks, maybe less.” “Oh God,” my mother cries, moving to my fathers bedside.
“This is a lot to process,” Dr. Jameson says. “I’ll leave you alone. If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
I nod, and he leaves the room. My father is comforting my mother, when he’s the one who’s dying, and in this moment it’s confirmed that my fathers shoes are too big for me to fill. Cassey’s face flashed in my mind, and it evokes something strange and unfamiliar in my heart. I need to tell her how I feel about her. This life is too short not to.
Jessa steps up to my side, and slides her hand up my arm. Is she serious right now? I grab her wrist and all but drag her from my fathers hospital room. “What are you doing here, Jessa?” I ask, barely able to contain my anger. “I came to see your dad, baby.”
I cringe at her term of endearment. Perviously, it wouldn’t have bothered me, but it sounds wrong coming from her mouth now. She’s not Cassey. “Don’t pretend you’re here for my dad’s benefit,” I snap.
“You’re right,” she purrs. “I came for you. You’ve ignored all my calls, and all my texts, and I’ve missed you. I thought we could spend some time together.” She presses herself to my body, and I push her away without too much force. “No. I’m seeing someone.”
“So? That’s never been an issue with me, baby, you know that.” “I love her.” The words come out of my mouth unbidden, but I know they’re the truth. I do love her.
“Oh baby, you can’t love her. You’re mine.” With that, Jessa turns on her heel and turns her back to me as she leaves. A dark cloud hovers over my head, and for the life of me, I can’t seem to shake it. I need to see Cassey, but I need to get a grip on my emotions first. Unfortunately, the only way I can do that is drown them out. At least for a short while. Then I will tell Cassey what I’ve known for a while. I love her.
~ Cassey ~
I climb out of the bath, and wrap my fluffy pink robe around my wet body. I’m exhausted, and as much as I would’ve liked to be with Kyler, I’m glad to have my apartment to myself. I spoke to Kyler earlier, after he saw his Father during lunch, and he told me that his Father’s cancer has spread to his lungs. I tried my best to keep it together after hearing Kyler’s voice, but as soon as we ended the call, I couldn’t keep the tears in. I’ve had a special relationship with Kyler’s father from the time I started working at Knight Media, and watching him and his family go through this is incredibly difficult. I wanted nothing more than to see Kyler after that, but decided that he would probably want some time alone to deal with all of it. I collapse onto my bed, and catch the fading scent of Kyler’s cologne on my pillows. I catch myself inhaling it, when I know I shouldn’t. It only reminds me that I have to end things with Kyler soon, because I’m falling in love with him.