“Trust me,” he said, using a finger to tip her face back to him. “It would take a hell of a lot more than that to humiliate me in this place.”
She sighed, grateful for his understanding. “It’s just that I’ve been searching for the man who attacked me for so long, and I felt him and couldn’t stop myself.”
Shade’s jaw clenched so hard she heard the pop of bone. “Can you still feel him?”
“Yes.” The oily taint of evil still shimmered on her skin. She’d give anything to spend an hour under Shade’s waterfall right now.
Shade sank down in the chair next to her bed and muttered, “You can feel him, but not me.”
“I can only feel him when he’s very close. Like now.” She sat up, wincing at the stab of pain in her head. “He wouldn’t really claim—”
“No!” Shade shot to his feet. “I swear to you, he will not claim First Rights.”
She’d learned about First Rights when she’d researched werewolves, but hadn’t considered the custom to be a true threat since she’d fully intended to kill her sire when she found him. “I’m not sure what would be worse. Having him kill me, or …”
“Don’t think about it.” Shade crossed to her in two strides and tugged her to her feet and into his arms. “The year will be up soon, and Luc will have no claim on you.”
“And who will?” she whispered.
“Oh, Runa …” His heart thundered against her ear, lulling her to relax. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, reveling in the quiet moment.
They stood like that for a long time, until eventually, the malevolent sludge that had been pumping through her veins melted away. She slumped against Shade in relief. “He’s gone. He must have left through one of those gates.”
“We should go, too.”
“Back to the cave?” When he nodded and backed away, she shook her head. “I told you I don’t want to spend the rest of my life as your prisoner.”
“What you want is irrelevant.”
Damn him. “How can you be so caring and protective one minute, and then a total a**hole the next?”
“Roag has been inside the hospital, Runa. He killed one of our nurses just to show us he could. I’ve got to keep you someplace safe.”
The news that Roag had been in this building made her wobble. Shade’s arm shot out to steady her. “It’s okay. I have you.”
His thumb rubbed absently on her arm—the one that should bear his mate-markings. She pulled out of his grip, and he didn’t try to catch her again. “This has something to do with the fact that I’m not marked, doesn’t it?” The guilt crossing his face confirmed her suspicion. “Oh, my God,” she breathed. “The bond isn’t working both ways. That’s why you’re keeping me close. Why you’re holding me captive at your cave. You’re afraid I’ll leave you.”
His gloved hands began to shake. He clenched them at his sides. “You have every reason to.”
“What would happen if I did?”
“You know I need sex several times a day, and now I can only get it from you. If you left me, I’d be compelled to hunt you down, and if I couldn’t get to you for some reason, within days I’d go insane and die.”
She sucked in a startled breath. “Oh.”
“Yeah. There’s a reason so few of my species take mates.” He explained in detail, and God, no wonder he was determined to keep her at his side.
This situation must be terrifying for him. If circumstances were reversed, she didn’t think she’d handle it half as well as he had. From the moment he’d awakened in Roag’s dungeon, he’d put aside his own fears to protect her, and then later, after they became bonded, he continued to protect her, making her feel safer than she’d ever felt before. He’d been hard on her, yes, but he’d also complimented her and encouraged her, giving her the courage to believe in herself and to take risks.
For the first time since becoming a werewolf, she didn’t feel like an outsider, a freak. As strange as Shade’s world was at times, it was where she belonged.
Reaching up, she palmed his cheek and forced him to look down at her. “I swear to you, I won’t leave you. And I won’t withhold anything you need.” It was a relief to know she wasn’t bonded to him and that nothing would happen to her if she left him, but she couldn’t let him die.
Why her promise should make him miserable, she didn’t know, but clearly, she’d said the wrong thing. His jaw tightened, his throat worked on a hard swallow, and his voice took on the harsh rattle of a steaming espresso machine. “For the love of all that’s unholy, stop it. Stop being so f**king nice. You should hate me.”
“Hate you?” she asked incredulously. “God, Shade. I love you.” Her heart pounded at the admission. Shade went ghost-white, and she only made it worse when she tacked on a weak, “I’ve loved you since the beginning.”
“You said … when we were in Roag’s dungeon … that you were over me.”
She had, and she’d even believed it at the time. But her mother’s mantra, uttered every time she learned of another of her father’s affairs, made sense now. You can’t truly hate someone you’ve loved. You can only hurt.
“I lied, you big lunk,” she said softly. “To myself. To you. But the truth is, I love you.” She took a deep, shaky breath. “God help me.”
Terror whispered to Shade like a phantom’s taunt. He wheeled away, put several feet of space between them, but right now it wasn’t enough. Several miles wouldn’t be enough. “Don’t say that. Don’t even think it.”
“It’s true.” Her hand came down on his shoulder, and he hissed, jerked out of her grip.
“Dammit, Runa.” He cursed the tremor in his voice, hating himself for it. “Why do you have to make everything so difficult?”
“Me? Difficult? I’ve done everything you’ve asked of me. You’re the one being difficult. You care about me, and don’t you dare deny it.”
He wanted to, but she’d know he was lying. His body knew as well. The lightheadedness had come back, and he could feel his muscles turn watery. If he took off his gloves, he’d see his hands shimmering in transparency. He was falling for her so hard his heart hurt. The heart that would soon stop beating because the curse would turn it to shadow. Permanently.
“Well?”
“Well what?”
She threw up her hands. “You’re impossible.”
He stalked toward her, and he gave her credit for standing her ground. He stopped so close their chests brushed. “Were you telling me the truth earlier? If I wanted to take you, right now, right here, where anyone could walk in, would you refuse me? Because you’re pissed?”
She raised her chin. “No.”
Gods, her spirit excited him. Challenged him. Made him want to find a way to make sure she was his in every way, curse be damned. He tangled one hand in her hair and held her as he lowered his mouth to hers. The first brush of his lips against hers sent a spark of electricity through his veins. When her tongue slipped out to stroke the seam of his mouth, the spark ignited so fast his body became flame.
Runa worked him into a frenzy without even trying. It was time to take back some control. Roughly, he wrenched her head back so she couldn’t move, was at the mercy of his mouth as he teased her. Tiny, soft kisses and nibbles made her whimper.
Finally, when he was good and ready, he whispered, “Open for me. Now.”
“No.”
He froze. “You said you wouldn’t deny me.”
“But I didn’t say I was going to keep letting you control me.” One corner of her kiss-swollen mouth lifted into a mischievous smirk. “And that’s what you’re doing. You want to prove that you’ve got me wrapped around your finger. Well, screw you. I won’t deny you sex. You want it, you can have it. But your other little controlling games? I’ll deny you those and fight you every step of the way.”
Amusement made him smile even as irritation stirred his blood. Had she still been the Runa he’d dated a year ago, he could have reined her in with a gentle hand, kept her as little more than an outlet for sex with no worries about the curse. But this little fireball she’d become was too hot to handle with anything less than a firm hand. A firm hand and a new angle of approach.
Because he would not kill her—and when he thought about it, he realized he’d known that from the beginning. She would not die because of him. He’d brought the curse upon himself, and Runa would not be made to pay for his sins.
Shade would pay. Either he’d take himself out, or he’d succumb to a fate worse than death. But either way he was going to take Roag with him.
Chapter 15
Kynan had flashbacks of being called into the principal’s office as he approached the administrative wing of the hospital. Eidolon had ordered him to appear before him, and Ky had felt his gut knot.
Eidolon’s office door was open, and inside, the doctor sat on his desk, arms folded over his chest, long legs crossed at the ankles. Wraith stood in the corner, his blue eyes iced over.
This couldn’t be good.
“Close the door.” Eidolon’s command was as cold as Wraith’s gaze. “And then tell me how you know Arik Wagner.”
Kynan had to swallow the lump of oh-shit before he could find his voice. “I knew him from my Army days.”
“Give me your hand.”
Where was this going? Kynan wondered, but it didn’t occur to him to disobey. Eidolon took Ky’s wrist and pressed his fingers to his pulse. “I’ll tell you the truth. You don’t have to play lie detector, if that’s what you’re doing.”
“It is,” Eidolon said, and for some reason, that stung. “Now, tell me how he knows about the hospital.”