He had him there. John looked properly chastened.
"Yes, it doesn't matter what era a male is from. As a matter of fact," Alex began, "I read a study that said the sexual appetites and methods... "
"No," Tiff said, snapping a bubble. When she recovered she said, "Just... no."
Alex frowned and shut his mouth with a snap, rolling his massive shoulders into a shrug. His gaze narrowed on her. "This from the gnome-phobe."
She gave a small shudder then said, "Bite me, Sims."
Alex smirked, giving it consideration, making Tiff frown harder and Alex's smile widen into a grin.
Archer said to Jonesy, "This is all so entertaining. All the time you guys spend on sex, while no one is actually having any?" he said, nodding.
Everyone looked at Jade and I.
Hell.
Jade blushed so hard I thought her skin had changed permanently to a dusky red.
"Okay," I said, containing my embarrassment with a supreme effort, "the deal is what to do about Clyde? We are here in the hideaway to come to a vote. Get a plan. Me telling you guys about... " I paused here for phrasing purposes, "Gale's compulsion to visit Clyde is not the point."
"Secondary?" John clarified.
I nodded. "That'll work."
"Second," Jonesy continued, raising a finger.
Huh. Jonesy the locomotive, no brake in sight.
"He's not really dead anymore." Jonesy looked at us.
I shook my head. "No... I felt him, guys. He is definitely dead. Done. Lights out. Taking a dirt nap... " I looked up at the ceiling of cars, trying to think of additional idioms from Gramps.
"Chillax, Hart, we gotcha." Jonesy rolled his eyes just as Sophie squeezed through the opening.
"Hi!" she said. "What did I miss?"
Tiff barked out a laugh and Bry put his face in his hands.
"What?" she asked.
Jonesy said, "And three," he nodded to Sophie in greeting, "Gale is AFTD but she may just be the juice old Clyde needs to stay above ground."
Bry nodded, scrubbing his face then said, "No more six feet under for him!"
Tiff nodded, cackling.
Sophie gave a confused look to the group. "Boy, I definitely came in too late. What's going on?"
Jonesy bit into some of the secret stash of candy, tearing half the Snicker's bar right off. Through a mouthful he said, "Gale wants to do the nasty with Clyde."
I slapped my forehead and John groaned.
"No!" I said, defending Gale's honor. "She's been going to the cemetery to spend time by his grave and, well, I don't know exactly what it's all about." I leveled a spiteful look at Jones.
He shrugged.
"That's really weird, Caleb," Sophie said, a look of distaste puckering her fully glossed lips.
Jonesy stuck his palm out like, see what I'm sayin'?
"Anyway, I think we've gotten terribly off topic," John said, centering the group.
"Oh, I don't know, I like the first part. I'm thinkin' we should let that romance develop," Jonesy said and winked at Sophie.
"Eewww!" Sophie said.
Tiff frowned. "What's wrong about it?"
Alex smiled.
Everyone blanched at her comment but she went on, unfazed, "Okay, I know it seems gross but let's address that somehow. From what Clyde says, she recharges his battery." She popped off the milk crate and began to circle the area of their confined space, the ceiling cavernous, the floor space barely adequate. "Caleb raised Clyde right?" I nodded slowly, a dawning horror of revelation just out of reach. "Then you jerked him out of the ground how many times after that?" She looked a question at me.
I didn't know, I'd lost count.
Her eyes narrowed. "You don't even know how many now, do ya?"
I shook my head.
"And Parker said, he may never go down again. What would you think if sometime you go over there and he's not in his grave?"
I thought of Clyde the last time I'd seen him. Standing on his own grave, the wind lifting his hair as the rain pelted his clothes to his skin. The body he possessed alive, the one that held ownership now, his death signature a singing tone in my brain.
"Who wants to believe Parker, raise their hand," Jade said.
Nobody did.
"Okay," Tiff pegged us with her eyes. "I'll give you that, he's a murderous dick." Bry barked out a laugh and she grinned, continuing, "But he had some wisdom to sling our way."
"Yeah, like monkey's throwing their own shit," Jonesy muttered.
Tiff laughed. "Yeah."
"It doesn't answer the question of what to do," I said.
The group was quiet for a second. Then Jade offered, "I don't think it's up to us. I mean, if Gale wants to ... " Jade couldn't bring herself to say it.
"Commune," Alex offered with a lecherous smile and Jade gulped.
"See," she began, "it's really none of our business, right? I mean, it's not against the law?"
Sophie shifted uncomfortably. "Yet."
She had a point.
Jonesy looked at Sophie. "They have any more idea about the attacker, Soph?"
She stared at him then said after a pause, "No."
"How's realm going?" Jade asked.
She shook her head, her soft hair bouncing around with the movement. "I'm not doing so hot. Proctor's up my ass about it."
Alex smiled and John gave him The Look.
Sophie sighed. "Not literally, ya perv."
Jonesy pointed at Sophie and said, "Yeah, what she said."
Alex laughed.
Archer said, "Like I said before: obsessed about sex. And it appears that wars with ass obsession."
"Speak for yourself, Lewis," Jonesy said.
"Anyway," Sophie said, "I don't think he's that worried, he's Level Five so what does he care? He's all Mr. Confident because he got to Amanda before the guy could do the deed. But it was close," Sophie said, her hand going to her mouth, covering it entirely while her aqua eyes held water.
Lots of it.
Jonesy, not one to know what to do if the water fell said quickly, "What's that schmuck boyfriend of yours doing about it?"
It shut down the almost tears episode and she glared at him. Exactly what he'd been going for.
"Listen, there aren't two or three Buddy's. He is aware of it, he spends time in realm but he's only Level two."
"I knew that guy didn't have it," Jonesy said and Sophie rolled her eyes.
Credit where it was due, I thought. "Well, he's got something because if I ever go again with him, I'm gonna have to bring it." Remembering the fight where it had been a near thing that I didn't get my ass kicked.
The guys were silent, they'd been there.
"Sorry Caleb," Sophie said.
"Don't worry about it," I said, thinking she could have better taste. She didn't know it, but Jonesy was perfect for her. Of course, Jonesy hadn't woken up to that little fact either.
"Like I said, you can't help who you like," Alex shrugged.
It was perfect timing because Mia came in the hideaway with that chick that had the inside scoop on Alex's perviness.
Randi.
I thought Alex would shrivel up and crawl up his own ass.
He gulped and looked at Mia like she had brought a demon into his lair.
It was almost funny but then I thought about how nervous I'd been with Jade at first.
Jonesy couldn't let awkwardness lie so he took one look at Alex, six-foot-four of two hundred and forty pounds of awkwardness and almost rubbed his hands together in glee.
Hell.
"Well hiya Randi!" Jonesy said. "Wuzzup?"
Randi looked at him curiously, her almond-shaped eyes widening. "Mia invited me."
"Hey Randi," Sophie said.
She flicked back hair that was even blacker than Jade's. "Hey Sophie!" She seemed relieved to have another girl she knew around.
Archer said, "Let us 'lessers' hang, Mia. The stuck up ones can converge and pet each other like alley cats."
Mia laughed. "It's okay Lewis, I am totally okay with being a lowly Photographic." She scrunched up her nose delicately and pointed a finger at him. "You're a...?"
"Lock-Manipulator."
"Right," she snapped her fingers. "I forgot, sorry."
"No problem," Archer said and suddenly she noticed his shoes.
No irony that the Photographic forgot Lewis' ability.
"Wow, those are super cute," she said, then added, "where'd you get them?"
"Nordstrom's," he said, the faintest blush covering the perfect skin of his face, the broken nose that Gramps fixed barely noticeable, the bruises- gone.
Jonesy strolled over to him, touching the lantern absently, its sudden illumination startling Randi into a gasp. "Wow," she breathed out.
He continued looking at Archer's footwear. Then the pants, shirt and jacket. He was well put together, all his clothes coordinated and perfect. Yet, he somehow made it look natural, like he wasn't trying.
Unstudied elegance.
I wasn't sure if it was a gay thing or an Archer thing. Whatever, I wasn't sure it mattered, he looked like he was stylin'.
The girls all came over there and began oohing and ahhing over his great wardrobe and even I could tell he was loving the attention for his efforts. He had the fashion thing totally handled.
Jonesy ruined his moment of glory with, "Hate the fruit boots, man."
Archer's perfect brows jacked down over his eyes.
Mia turned to Jonesy, taking in his classic jock ensemble of jeans, tennis shoes and hoodie. "Coming from you... I'd say that's a compliment."
"What?" Jonesy said, hand to his chest. "So I don't worship clothing..."
"Totally," Sophie said.
"Yeah," Tiff agreed.
"Shut up, Tiff. You wear the same crap I do," Jonesy said.
"Don't tell my sister to shut up, Jones," Bry said, body tense.
Jonesy looked at him. "Didn't mean anything by it, pal."
"I'm just sayin... "
"You tell her to shut up all the time," Alex said logically.
"Yeah," Bry admitted.
Jonesy threw up his hands and Bry said sheepishly, "I can, man. It's a sib thing." He shrugged.
I didn't get it. Of course I was lucky enough to be an only child.
"I don't get to tell my sister to shut up," Jonesy mumbled.
Bry nodded. "Trust me, pal, your time will come," he winked.
And the awkward moment was over like that.
Until we heard the noises outside.
My head swiveled to Jade. "You didn't feel anything?"
I looked at the group and John looked embarrassed. My eyes narrowed on him. "Were you tuned up?"
He shrugged. "I didn't want any undead surprises."
Great. Now we had company and we'd all been offline.
"Can ya warn us next time before you give us a dead arm?" I asked.
"What the hell is that?" Archer asked and Jonesy's eyes widened as I punched him in the place where the bicep begins on the outer arm and the shoulder starts.
With my knuckles.
"Damn Man!" Jonesy wailed. "Why the eff am I the fall guy for the demos?"
John smirked. Nice, his look said.
Archer looked on with interest. "Can you... ya know, move it?"
"Hell no! He screwed me for the next two minutes, the prick!" Jonesy said with characteristic drama.
I laughed and Jade said, "Caleb, I hate to say it but we need to see what's going on out there."
"Yeah, ya ass hat, let me take my gimp arm that I can't use anymore and see what I can defend, ya moron."
Alex guffawed, pleased.
We tumbled out of the hideaway and came face to face with Parker and his zombies.
They held Gale between them and Parker had one zombie on point, his steel grip latched onto Garcia.
The night was not looking up.
Parker's eyes met mine.
Stick a fork in me, I was about done on Parker. He was popping up all the time, cramping my style, trying to kidnap me one moment, then warning me the next.
Piss. Off.
Jade moved behind me and I wondered what to do in this mess.
But of course, that didn't take long. In the distance I saw a figure begin to grow as it gained proximity. Moving toward us with alarming speed.
It was Clyde.
Handy timing.
And he had rage etched on his face in hard lines. He came before Parker and met his gaze.