She laughed. "There is quite a list, isn't there? Randy, Martha, Fitzgerald, the Dawkins business. . . . Maybe I've learned to hide my anxiety better. But no. I'm not sure why, but I do feel more comfortable. I've come to terms over Randy-at least to the extent where I realize I can't do anything about it."
"And shouldn't, even if you could," Dean added.
"You're right. I guess deep down, I'm looking forward to the wedding although there are a million things I have to do first." She turned to face him. "I know I should be upset that Fitzgerald is running against you but I know his being in the race makes you want to run all the more. I have total faith that you'll beat the socks off the creep. I guess I'm even a little bit excited by the challenge."
"I'm glad someone has faith."
"I'm still devastated over Martha," she continued. "I keep trying to tell myself that her not telephoning is a good sign. It probably means things are working out with her mother and I shouldn't think selfish thoughts. But then I'm afraid we might never even see her again and I just won't let myself believe that."
"I wish we could do something about that situation. Legally, in the state's eyes, we're not even a party to the proceedings. They never finalized our position as foster parents. I feel totally helpless every time I talk to anyone there." He looked over at her and cuddled closer.
"Going up to that mine scares the you-know-what out of me," she whispered, "but I feel like we're doing it for Martha-after our promise to her. At least we're taking some action, and we're doing it together-that makes me feel more secure." She gave him a squeeze. "I take great comfort in your company, Mr. Dean."
Mr. Dean wished he felt a modicum of confidence in himself as the three drifted off to sleep-David and Cynthia Dean, with SB, the Bird Song owl, snuggled next to them.