She liked that. She liked that he felt respect for Tariq and that a part of him wanted to stay and protect him and the others. With Dragomir came the brotherhood. They were loyal to him and to one another.
“I don’t understand why Vadim doesn’t just give up and go away when there are so many ancient hunters here. Tariq has an army of humans with weapons that can kill vampires. Why doesn’t Vadim find another empire where there aren’t any hunters?”
Dragomir opened the door and stepped into the foyer. She hung back. “We should knock.”
“I called ahead and let Tariq know I was bringing you. He said to go inside and up the stairs to the first bedroom.”
She found herself smiling. She wasn’t certain she would ever get used to the Carpathian telepathic way of communication. “I would like to buy land near here. Bordering Tariq and Charlotte’s. Maybe even on the lake, although the water scares me.”
His gaze jumped to her face. “Why?”
She shrugged, unwilling to sound like a frightened child. “Dreams. Bad dreams since I was a child. I blamed not learning to swim on opportunity, but Blaze’s father would have taught me. I didn’t want to learn because that meant getting into the water.”
Dragomir stepped in front of her on the stairs, reaching behind him for her hand. He did that a lot, sheltering her. She wasn’t used to it, but she liked it. She had always tried to imagine what it would be like to have a man want to protect her. To love her. To put her first. No one had ever done that. Blaze and her father were wonderful to her and she loved them both, but always they had each other. She knew if she wasn’t perfect, Blaze’s father wouldn’t have thrown her out, but she still feared it and went out of her way to always be on her best behavior.
Tariq paced in the hall, a small frown on his face. He swung around as they reached the top of the stairs. “Emeline. Thank you for coming. Not even Gary can reach her. We thought for certain Liv would be able to, but she said Amelia had gone too far. I’m not certain we’ll get her back. If you can’t do it, then I’ll have no choice but to convert her. Gary isn’t certain if that will work, either.”
“I’ll do anything I can to help her, Tariq, but I’m no healer. I don’t know how to do the things all of you do to heal one another. It’s a tremendous gift, but I’m not certain I can do it.”
“I’ll be with you,” Dragomir assured.
Emeline wasn’t certain that would be the best thing for Amelia. The teenager was afraid of Dragomir. All the children were. She knew Amelia in particular was because they’d discussed it. Once, when he had stridden by, his long hair flowing like a waterfall to his waist and his golden eyes alive with heat and danger, Emeline had waited to speak until he took to the sky, using two running steps and then he was gone. He had been breathtaking. Her body had reacted despite the pain racking her, and she’d turned to find Amelia staring at the same spot where he had taken to the sky.
They’d stared at each other and then laughed, agreeing he was hotter than hell and someone to stay away from. She had seen the shy admiration in Amelia’s eyes, but also the fear. He was big and bad and just plain scary. He scared Emeline, too, so she hadn’t tried to persuade Amelia to feel any differently.
“Let me just sit with her for a few minutes,” Emeline said. She started past Tariq, but Dragomir caught her hand and pulled her back to him.
“What scared you about the water, sívamet?” he asked softly.
Her stomach rolled. Knotted. She felt slightly nauseous. Forcing a smile, she shook her head. “I was a child, Dragomir.”
He looked as if he might object and force her explanation, but in the end, he caught her chin in his fingers and forced her head up. “Kiss me.”
She would anywhere, anytime. She leaned her body into his and gave herself up to his kiss. He always was hungry. Commanding. He tasted like sin and sex and love. So much love. She kissed him again and again, wishing they were alone, and then abruptly pulled away to glare at him. “You’re distracting me.”
“So you’re thinking of something you love rather than something you fear. Go be strong for the both of you. You were born for me,” he said, “but also for this. For children like Amelia who need a strong, courageous woman to guide them when they’re lost. Do what you do best.”
She hadn’t thought she did anything best, except maybe dance. But that wasn’t something others needed. She looked at Tariq, at the lines of worry in his face. Charlotte came out of the bedroom, her eyes red from crying, her arm around Liv, who also was in tears. Valentin was their shadow, his features grim. Hope had been lost. She could see that.
They’re all counting on me. What if I can’t do this? She reached out to the one person she knew was always going to be there for her.
It isn’t about them or for them. This is between you and Amelia. What happened to you, happened to her. Vadim and his pawns violated both of you. She’s a child. Barely fourteen. Traumatized. Afraid. Vadim put parasites in you, but he put a splinter of himself in her. He forced her to inject her three-year-old sister with parasites. He tried to make her kill Liv. Do you know that she fought him? A master vampire. There under the water, with Liv drowning, knowing he would kill her, she tried to fight his influence. That’s magnificent, Emeline. And, sívamet, it’s also you. She did what you would have done.
She took a breath and let it out, looking up at his beloved face. He always made her feel brave and perfect. In his eyes, maybe she was. She wanted to be. She had to get Amelia to see that she was brave and perfect as well. She had to find a way to guide her back to them. “I love you,” she said softly, wanting the others to hear. To know. Because her man was brave and perfect and he always knew the right thing to say to her.
She walked into the bedroom, hesitated and then closed the door. There were things that were private, things others didn’t need to know – not about her and not about Amelia. She sank down onto the chair by the bed and took Amelia’s hand. The teenager looked so pale she was nearly gray. It was disconcerting to see that her eyes were wide open. Glassy. She was gone. There was no Amelia in that shell.
She stood a long time, looking down at the teenager. She had once been beautiful, just as Emeline had. Vadim had hurt both of them until neither felt or looked that way. Dragomir had intervened for Emeline. Amelia had her. The healer, Tariq, Charlotte and Liv had all tried the Carpathian way of retrieving her. No one had tried reaching out and connecting. That was all Emeline had. The truth and the obscene way they were connected. God knew, she didn’t want to relive one moment of that time, but Amelia was stuck there and there was no other way to get her back.
Emeline took another deep breath, set her shoulders and drew on every ounce of courage she had. “Baby,” she greeted softly. “I know you’re locked away from us, somewhere safe. Somewhere monsters can’t get to you. I know, because I’ve gone there a time or two myself. It’s all right to go there; we all need that respite once in a while. It isn’t cowardice, it’s self-preservation. Just know, you can’t stay there.”
She stroked caresses down Amelia’s arm. “I know, Amelia. Vadim’s horrible vampires surrounded me and held me down. They ripped my clothes off. Some of them licked me with their tongues. Their tongues were black and bumpy with parasites wiggling on them. When they touched my skin I felt filthy.”
She watched Amelia closely. The body never moved. Her skin was cool to the touch. Had those lashes fluttered, or had Emeline just wanted them to do so? Could she do this again? Relive it all for Amelia? She had to, because it was what Amelia was escaping – what she couldn’t face – and she had to know that she wasn’t alone.
“When I told Dragomir about it, I left out details like that because I didn’t want him to know. I didn’t want anyone to know. The way it felt when Vadim grabbed my ovaries, when he put his fingers in me.” She choked on that. A shudder went through her body. She almost reached for him but she knew this was between her and Amelia. A child. A young girl the vampire had treated the same way.
“Inside me, Amelia. His hand was inside me. I felt so filthy. I felt as if I could never get him out.” She threaded her fingers through Amelia’s and held on. When she looked up at the girl’s face, there were tears running down her cheeks and this time, her eyes were closed, not open staring vacantly.