Never inappropriate, she whispered into his mind.
He fell hard. Fast. So deep he was out of breath. Every beat of his heart was for her. She was – extraordinary. All those weeks she had suffered Vadim’s attacks, his parasites hurting her, over and over in an attempt to force her into compliance with the master vampire’s wishes. She’d held out. She’d kept her baby alive even when Vadim turned his attacks to it. Now, when her insides were dying and being reborn, when she was suffering because of him…
Silly man. Not because of you. This is my choice. Keeping the baby was my choice. Defying Vadim was my choice. You are my choice.
Her body writhed, twisted, was lifted up, jerking, as he held her to him to keep her from slamming down. That didn’t matter to her. Her mind was peaceful. Serene. She’d chosen, and her choice was him. Dragomir Kozel with his road map of scars on his face and the tattoos carved, rather than inked into his skin. His vow – to her.
Tell me. I need to feel your touch.
There was a catch in her voice. One that told him she was hurting beyond measure, even with all of them helping to bear her burden.
Not beyond measure. Talk to me. Tell me what those symbols and letters mean. It helps to distract me, and I really want to know.
He rocked her, more to soothe himself than her. Stroking back her damp hair with long caresses of his fingers, he told her using the more intimate form of communication because his explanation belonged only to her.
A few of us believed it was cowardice to suicide. We were at the end, monsters growing worse by the hour, and we wanted – no, needed to keep our honor. We wanted to wait for our lifemates, to hold true to our course. The trouble was…
The twisting fire in her body slowly eased and her long lashes lifted. She reached up to touch his face, drawing in air for both herself and the baby. The trouble was… she encouraged.
He was a big man. Tall, like most Carpathians, but with heavier bones and muscles. She wasn’t petite by any means, although thin from her ordeal, but she seemed very small held up against his heavier muscles. His protective instincts were working overtime as he gathered her back to him. “Only once more, sívamet, and I can send you into our healing sleep. You and Carisma did well.”
Tell me.
He sighed. He’d hoped to distract her, but she refused to let it go. His woman had a mind of her own, and she would get her way with him. Easily. That didn’t bode well for him, but he understood why it had been ridiculous for him to think his time was over – that he couldn’t live with a woman from this century. As her lifemate, he would do whatever it took to make her happy.
He felt her stir in his mind, soft feminine amusement. “Within reason, woman. You are my heart and soul and I protect my own. You will not always agree with the way I choose to do that, but as my lifemate, you will do your best to see to my happiness.”
This lifemate business is a two-edged sword. Now tell me. Already I feel the next wave building and it is the worst yet. I need to hear your voice. In my head. Talk to me so I can concentrate on how mesmerizing you sound. You provide me with all sorts of fantasies I can hang on to when things get really rough between us.
“Things? What things? I intend to provide you with a life without rough.”
She smiled up at him, but the building wave reached higher and higher, crashing through her internal organs. He felt Gary’s white-hot spirit, a ball of pure energy, shudder and dim with the assault as he surrounded the baby and took on the growing wave of pure fire racing through their bodies. Dragomir was in Emeline’s mind and he felt the pain the way she did. The Carpathian healing chant swelled in volume. The women’s voices sang the lullaby, trying to give the baby strength to hold on through the last transformation. All of them connected to share the pain, easing it enough that hopefully mother and daughter would get through it.
Be strong, Carisma, for your mother. She fought for you. Fight for her. Fight for us. You are not alone. You have all of us waiting for you. Prepared to love and defend you. He didn’t know the slightest thing about babies, and all he knew of children was that parents spoiled them and didn’t teach them the things that would keep them safe.
The softest touch in his mind held a trace of that feminine amusement he knew was his woman laughing at him.
Tell me. Those scars.
On my face or body?
The ones you call a tattoo.
Dragomir sighed. He couldn’t deny her anything, let alone a simple explanation that wasn’t really so simple. “I cannot tell you what it was like to live centuries in the darkness. Not even darkness.” He ran his fingers over her hair, those silken midnight black strands he loved. “Gray. A gray void. No feelings, none, Emeline. Just the battle and the kills. Men who had been my friends. Watching everyone that had been in my childhood turning from lack of one thing – finding a lifemate.”
The wave was almost at its peak. He tightened his hold on her, bringing her front to his, so that her breasts pressed into his chest. He cradled the back of her head in the palm of his hand, feeling every ragged, labored breath she took. Every wheeze. The inevitable struggle for life. “At first there is the whisper of temptation. Soft at first, then as time passes, that whisper becomes the only thing one hears. Kill. Terrorize. You will feel the rush. You will feel.”
To his shock and dismay, Emeline’s mind stroked caresses in his. Soothing. Comforting. In the midst of the pain, she still thought of him first. There was a persistent burning behind his eyes – one he’d never felt before.
Keep talking. Hurry. I need your voice. It keeps me centered. Grounded. I can do this if I have your voice.
I thought that whisper was the worst of what could happen and I learned to live with it, to ignore it. Time passed. So much time. And then even that was gone. There was no whisper of temptation, only time moving and no letup in sight. I was growing weary, and that is a dangerous time for a Carpathian hunter. Every battle, every kill, takes its toll. So, those like me got together, and we found our place in the monastery. Alive but not. Dead but walking. We found a gatekeeper, one close to his time like us, but unwilling to meet the dawn. His job was to keep us from killing anyone. His job was to feed us.
He fed all of you? What a good man.
No one had ever called any of them a “good man.” Most ran from them, and with good reason. Every one of the monks was dangerous to mankind.
Those nights were difficult. To get through them, we practiced fighting, pairing off most of the hours to engage in hand-to-hand or weapons training. Sometimes one of us had to take on the rest of the brotherhood.
One man against so many. Her breath hitched and she exhaled a long wheezing rush of sound like a ragged whisper.
He loved her beyond all imagining. She made him feel such a wealth of emotions, all centered around her. The ink embedded into my skin was carved deeply by my brothers in the monastery. We took vows, and were a brotherhood, but those vows weren’t said to a higher deity, but to the ones holding our souls. The ones keeping us safe. Ones like you, Emeline. Those vows were made to our lifemates, not anyone else.
He’d meant every word of those vows he’d taken to become what he was – a part of that brotherhood. The first line is Olen wäkeva kuntankért. That translates in your language as staying strong for our people. The second line is Olen wäkeva pita belső kulymet. That means, staying strong to keep the demon inside. We all know we have that demon. It is powerful and at any time could consume us or those around us. The third line is Olen wäkeva – félért ku vigyázak. That is our most important line and the one we repeat when the demons are too close. It means staying strong for her. The last line is very simple but it says it all. Hängemért.
He knew his voice had changed. He knew that last word was said with reverence. It always was. Hängemért means only her. It is simple, but it is everything. You are everything to me. You always have been. I lived a life of honor for me, but also for you. There is only you. None came before you and none will ever come after you. There is only you.
The terrible wave was receding and her breathing changed, became less labored. She needed respite. She needed the healing soil. He checked her, every part of her, and then checked their daughter. Gary had kept her shielded enough that as her little organs changed, she had hung on through the terrible, painful transformation.