Desari lay her head on his shoulder, uncertain what to do to ease the situation. "I am trying to be understanding, Julian, but it is not easy. Contrary to what you are often thinking, I am no saint. I haven't the patience of Job. What I want from my union with you is to be respected for what I am and for what I bring to this relationship. If I do not know more of your past, things that would help me better comprehend your fears for me, it is because I have respected your wishes and left your memories alone."
Julian felt as if she had punched him hard in the gut. His fingers tightened around her upper arms. "I have invited you to merge your mind with mine."
She straightened beside him, the water lapping at her waist. "Why are you shadowed, Julian? Why have you been alone all of your life? You have chosen a life of utter solitude when it is not your nature to be alone. You were born a twin. You needed another close to you, yet you cut yourself off from him. I know you love your brother, yet you will not speak of him, will not speak to him." Her dark eyes regarded him steadily. "I am no child to be shielded. I want a full partnership with you or nothing at all."
"My past is not what is haunting our relationship."
"Your past is haunting you, Julian." She gestured at their peaceful surroundings. "We are in a paradise, where I wish to make love with you often and in many ways. I see nothing wrong with it, yet you are afraid you bring danger to me. I cannot understand why you would choose to hurt me, to chastise me, rather than simply tell me what it is you are so afraid of."
She looked so beautiful there in the moonlight. She stole his breath as easily as she had taken his heart. "I have exchanged blood with a vampire." He said the words starkly, with no gentle explanations, the plain ugly truth that had haunted him all his life. The truth that had robbed him of his family and his birthright, the truth no other had ever been told.
Desari went very still, her face pale as she stared into his pain-filled eyes. The tip of her tongue wet her lips, her only sign of a reaction. "How terrible, Julian. When did this happen?" There was love in her voice, compassion. It was in the depths of her eyes. She moved to cover the distance between them, her arms wrapping tightly around his waist to press her breasts against his chest.
Julian actually felt tears in his eyes. He buried his face in her hair. "I would understand if you chose not to stay with me."
Her teeth nipped his skin, a small punishment for doubting her. "When, Julian?"
"I was twelve years of age. He looked young and handsome, and he knew all sorts of things I wanted to know. I visited him in his mountain lair nearly every day, and I told no one, as he bade me. Not even Aidan, although Aidan suspected something was wrong." There was a wealth of self-contempt in his voice.
Desari pressed closer to him, kissing the hollow of his shoulder, running her hands up and down his broad back to comfort him. "You did not know he was vampire. You were but a boy, Julian."
"Do not excuse me." His voice was a whip of self-loathing. "I wanted what he had. I always sought to learn things I should not have known. He saw that in me. The darkness gathering. And one day, when I saw him make a kill, he leapt on me, and he took my blood and forced his tainted blood into my body. He tied us together for all time. He would know where I was, who I was with. He could use me to eavesdrop on others, to betray them. If he wanted to, he could even use me to kill. He was powerful, and I was not yet, so I had no choice but to leave, to stay away from everyone I had ever cared about." He rubbed his neck as if it burned him. "For centuries he tormented me, but I grew in strength and knowledge until he could no longer use his power over me. But then he vanished, and I could never find him to try to destroy him. I searched every continent, everywhere around the world, and I could not find him. He must use some special power I do not know to keep me from tracking him as I could others who do not have my blood in their veins."
"Perhaps he is dead." Desari circled his neck with her arms, holding him close.
Julian shook his head. "I would have felt his death. The shadow would have gone. I fear he will be drawn to you, through me, that he will come for you."
She stayed very still in his arms, taking comfort from the strength of his body. "You are no longer a boy, Julian. You have grown very powerful."
He could feel the tension running through her like a fine wire pulled taut. His hand pushed at her back, a gentle guide toward shore. They had to complete the trip to the next concert site before the sunrise. "He was powerful when I was but a boy, Desari, not yet even a fledgling." Julian chose his words carefully. "For centuries I have chased the undead and destroyed them, removed all traces of their existence to protect our people. I have witnessed much death and horror, the cunning and destruction these soulless creatures cause. They victimize our people and humans alike. And they grow in power as they age."
"You were a child," she said softly. "He more than likely only seemed an ancient to you." Her heart ached for him, for the terrible loneliness he had endured. "Why did you not tell your Prince? Or your healer? Or your brother?"
"He said he would use me to kill my brother," he admitted without expression. That pain ran so deep, Julian couldn't totally share it. "Ever since I have dedicated my life to destroying the vampire. You have not seen, as I have, what they can do. I cannot let myself allow you into such dangerous situations to appease your desire for 'equality.' I have no choice but to protect you, even though it may mean at times we cannot agree."
Desari waded onto the shore and, automatically, without conscious thought, regulated her body temperature so she did not feel the cold of the night on her wet skin. She wrung out her long hair. "Is it so different then, being a hunter, a powerful male, than a powerful, ancient female who does not hunt?"
Julian shrugged his broad shoulders with a lazy ripple of muscle, striding easily after her. "We males are predators first, Desari. We have not a female's compassion and goodness in us. Our lives are ones of justice, right versus wrong. Those of us who are hunters see death continually, betrayal by old friends and even family members. We are forced to destroy those we once cared for or perhaps even owed debts to. We must protect the females from these horrors they were not made for."
"You are much like my brother. You and Darius think and react almost alike," Desari admitted as she donned clothing with a wave of her hand. Blue jeans and white sweater with pearl buttons down the front covered her, hiding her skin from his view. "I see why you think I should give you obedience, but I am no child, and I am not capable of returning to that state."
"Cara mia, I value your opinion in all things. But I am a hunter, a male Carpathian. It is imprinted on us, before our very birth, what our duty is. We know the ritual binding words, and we know we must protect our women and our children above all else. I cannot rid myself of this responsibility, nor do I know if I would want to do so."
Desari stood tall and straight, her long hair flowing in the slight breeze. She looked regal, like a queen. "It is shocking to me that males of your acquaintance have forced females no older than a fledgling to bind with them. I am no child or fledgling, lifemate. I am a woman with much power. I know who I am and what I want. I do not wish to be ordered about as if I have no common sense. Why would you think I would interfere in your battles with the undead? But it is my right as your lifemate to aid you, be it with strength or healing."
Julian clothed himself in matching blue jeans and a white shirt. He turned her words over in his mind and found himself agreeing with her. She deserved the same respect he gave to Darius. Were her gifts any less than her brother's? He did respect her; how could he not? He respected any woman strong enough to become lifemate to the Carpathian male, fledgling or no. He let his breath out slowly. Was this the dilemma of every hunter when he found his true lifemate?
"Julian?" Desari touched the back of his hand. "I am not trying to chastise you, but I feel you should know what I am. Who I am. I will never settle for a master. You will be my partner or we are never going to have a true relationship. I cannot be subject to your rules any more than you could be to mine. Do you not see that what I say is so?"
Julian sifted strands of her ebony hair through his fingers. "Do you believe I think you less than myself?"
Desari looked up at him. "I think perhaps you believe I have not the strength and wisdom to protect myself from harm."
"Do you?" He asked it seriously, his watchful gaze never leaving her face. He did not attempt to enter her mind, wanting to give her the courtesy of privacy in this matter.
Desari's first inclination was to tell him that of course she was strong and wise enough to defend herself and that surely she could prevent a vampire from taking possession of her. She even opened her mouth to say so but, then closed it again. Could she kill, even a vampire? The answer was no, she could not. She could not destroy even such an evil one. It was not in her to do so. Nor could she have fought the effects of the poison as Julian had. The vampire might have triumphed after all.
"I do not have the will to destroy," she answered honestly. "But that does not negate what I have said to you. I do not feel that just because I cannot do what you do I should be forced to obedience as if I were a child. I did not in any way impede you in your battle, nor would I have done so."
His fingers curled around the nape of her neck, gently, tenderly. "Your very presence was a hazard, Desari; my attention was divided. Every moment you were in danger, I could barely breathe. In the past when I went into battle, all there was was the vampire and myself."
"And what is so different now?" Desari's voice was soft and beautiful, its purity touching the darkness in him with soothing peace.
Julian found himself letting out his breath slowly. "The difference now is that if I am destroyed, so might you be. Desari, can you not see that the world needs your gift? The peace your voice brings to it, to all creatures of the earth and sky? To humans, to us, our people? We do not yet know but that your voice might even aid our cause, help find a way to provide female children for our dying race. Aside from the possessiveness I feel, the need to have you with me, I feel the responsibility for your safety even more upon my shoulders. I can understand the pressure on Darius all these centuries. You have a priceless gift, lifemate, one we cannot risk."
Desari smiled in spite of the gravity of their conversation. "Do not place me so high I am soaring, lifemate. I do not know if my voice can do the wonders you imagine, but I thank you for the honor you give me. The point is, Julian, I may not have the skills to destroy the undead, but I have wisdom to know not to engage him in battle. More importantly, Julian, I respect your ability and have pride in your strength. I am not illogical or the type of person to place myself in danger deliberately, out of defiance. And I must remind you, you should not try to force my obedience, particularly when your mind is divided. I will follow your advice in these matters because I choose to do so." Her chin tilted at him in a slightly haughty way.
Julian was used to being the sole authority in his world, and he had always viewed women as the gentler sex, to be protected and hidden away from danger. It had not occurred to him that a lifemate might wield as much power in her own way as he did. Desari was right. He should not force her obedience, even when their lives were threatened; she would obey only with her full consent. How arrogant the males of his race had become. Julian thrust a hand through his golden hair and arched an eyebrow at her. "There is something to what you say," he admitted, deliberately slowly, as if mulling it over.
Her dark eyes smoldered. "There is truth in what I say."
He rubbed the bridge of his nose thoughtfully. "I suppose I can concede there could be some truth in what you say."
She couldn't help but laugh at him. "You are deliberately provoking me because you cannot stand that I am right. It deflates your male ego."
"Not only mine, cara mia"
he admitted with his mischievous grin, "but that of all the other hunters who find their lifemates. I will enjoy watching them learn this interesting fact of life when it is their turn. But in the meantime, Desari, should we be around other males, you could pretend that you obey my every word, lest we warn the others of their impending lesson."
Desari found herself suddenly relaxing, her dark eyes dancing. Julian wanted to see her point. And he had finally opened his memories to her of his own free will, allowed her to see the scars of his childhood. "Darius is much like you, Julian."
"That brother of yours," Julian said with his slow, taunting drawl. "You like him."
Julian raised an eyebrow. "Darius is not a man you like cara.
He is someone who inspires more emotion, to anyone who can feel emotion, than the word like implies. You might admire him. Respect him. Even fear him. But Darius is not someone you like. He is a hunter. Few, if any, would challenge him."
"You would," Desari said with complete conviction. "No one has ever said I was brilliant," Julian answered. "Do you think my brother is going to stay with us?"
Julian rubbed the bridge of his nose again, his eyes suddenly blank. "It is possible at some point, Desari, that you will want to establish our own family rather than stay with this unit."
She paced away from him, then returned. "You think he is close to turning vampire."
"I think your brother is a powerful hunter. He would make a lethal adversary, and I would not want the job of tracking him. Darius will hold on as long as he is able. He will not choose to lose his soul without a fight."
"Do you know any hunters greater than yourself?" Desari asked, curious. "Besides my brother, of course," she added impishly.
His eyebrows shot up, his grin slightly sardonic. "Do you wish to become a hunter groupie? I assure you, I am more than adequate for the job."
She burst out laughing. "You idiot. I was curious, that is all. Darius learned only through his own experience. Are his skills as good as those of your people?"
"Your brother is extremely strong and skilled. Perhaps it is inherited, in your bloodline," he mused aloud. "Remember, cara, Gregori, the Dark One, a most powerful hunter, second only to Mikhail, our Prince, is brother to you and Darius. We are of the same people."
Desari nodded, intrigued. "Do you think all hunters' skills are inherited?"
"The greatest hunter, as well as the greatest and most unique vampire, came from your bloodline. Those who choose the life of a hunter sometimes serve an apprenticeship under an experienced guide and are taught the rudiments of how a vampire must be destroyed almost from birth. But your brother did not have this information."
"But not all who hunt are guided?" Desari asked.
Julian shook his golden head wryly. "Some have not the patience for either the teaching or the learning." Desari laughed at him. "I think I know what kind you were."
Julian looked into her dancing eyes, the beauty of them.
"Is hunting always a choice, or does your Prince order it?"
"It is by choice unless, of course, one stumbles upon the undead. It is kill or be killed in that situation. We have lost many males unprepared for such an event. The more ancient the vampire, the more dangerous he is. An unskilled hunter has little chance against a vampire who has survived many centuries. As our skill grows with experience and time, so does the vampire's cunning and knowledge."
"And my bloodline has both a vampire and a hunter famous for their skills?" She was uncertain she wanted to hear of the vampire. She wanted to hear that her bloodline was too strong to allow one of its own to turn. Her brother was becoming more deadly every day. She tried not to notice how distant he could be, how completely emotionless. He used to pretend, at least, that he could feel affection for her; now he seldom made the effort.
Julian's arm circled her shoulders with easy familiarity, the move comforting. His chin nuzzled the top of her head. "Darius will not choose eternal darkness, cara mia;
he has lived in it far too long. Do not fear for your brother's soul." As always, he read her thoughts easily, a shadow in her mind.
Desari let out her breath slowly, his nearness easing her worries. He had experienced how Carpathian males changed over the centuries. He had lost feeling and colors until his world was one of bleak darkness, yet he had survived. He had even survived the mark of the beast, the vampire's shadowing of his soul. It could be done. "Tell me of my ancestors. After all these centuries of believing we were the only ones of our kind, it is interesting to know our family can be traced back to such legendary creatures."
Julian nodded. "There were two of them. Twins. Gabriel and Lucian. They were alike in everything. Tall and dark with eyes that could look straight through a person to his very soul. I saw them once, when I was a child. They were like gods striding through our village, visiting with Gregori and Mikhail for a brief time, then gone again. The wind went utterly still when they were near. The earth seemed to hold its breath as they passed. They were relentless, unswerving angels of death once set upon a path."
Desari shivered. Not so much at his words as at the pictures she glimpsed in his mind. True, they were the memories of a boy, yet she could see the images clearly. The two men very tall, elegant, their faces cruelly beautiful, as if etched in stone, their dark eyes merciless. Strong Carpathians trembled in their presence.
"They were loyal to the Prince of our people, but all knew that should the two choose darkness, no one would be able to destroy them."
"Was the prince this Mikhail you speak of?" Desari asked.
"Mikhail's father was our leader when I was a small child. I believe the twins, ancients even then, had served Mikhail's grandfather long before that. In any case, they were always together, inseparable. It was said they had made a childhood pact, one with the other, that if one turned, the other would destroy them both. They were so close they thought alike, knew what the other would be doing at every moment, hunted and fought as a team."
"They were born together, like you and your brother?" Julian nodded. "Some said they were demons, others called them angels, but everyone agreed they were the most lethal of all Carpathians, the most knowledgeable, the most skilled. What one learned through study or experience, he shared with the other, doubling their power and ability. Many of our race were terrified of them, yet they were much needed. In those days vampires were achieving a kind of popularity among humans, a disaster in the making for our people. Without the two angels of death, Carpathians would have been hunted to extinction, the vampires would have triumphed, and the world would have become a deadly, desolate place. There was chaos and war, the hunters of our race stretched beyond their capacity."
"Why would humans ever embrace the undead?"
"It was a time of great self-indulgence and decadence among the rich. They would have orgies of drinking and gluttony and sex. They would watch bloody, violent clashes and worship the victor. It was an atmosphere for the undead. They can be as cunning and charming as they need to be and influencing those already corrupt is not so difficult. We had to do something to change the course of history. It was Gabriel and Lucian who did so."
"Which was the vampire?"
Julian shook his head with his now familiar taunting smile. "Just like a woman, no patience."
She quirked an expressive eyebrow at him. "I am the one without patience? I think not, Julian. You are the one impatient."
His mouth swooped to take hers in a slow, leisurely exploration. He lifted his head, his eyes molten gold. "Then I will have to be more careful the next time to be slow and thorough. I want you to be completely satisfied in all things, lifemate."
Her slender arms circled his neck. "You know I am. And if you were much more thorough, we might both be dead."
He wrapped his arms protectively around her, pressing her body into his hard frame. "You are so perfect, Desari. For me there is no other."
"Nor for me. Before you, my world was not bleak and barren - I had emotions and colors, my singing to sustain me, my family to love - but I was alone. There was a part of me missing. A part of me restless and wild, searching for something. We wandered the continents to cover the fact that we did not age, but all of us were also looking for something to end the emptiness. We just did not know what it was we sought." Her hands were stroking his thick mane of hair, allowing the skeins of silken gold to run through her fingers. "I do not want to be apart from you, Julian. I want us to be always together."
He held her in silence for a time, breathing in the scent of her, trying to comprehend why he had been handed such a miracle, why he had been granted a reprieve at the last moment, been rewarded with a woman such as Desari. Julian tried not to think of the vampire who could destroy them both.
She felt his thoughts, the waves of intense emotion overwhelming him, things he could not put into mere words. Desari rested her head on his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart, knowing hers tapped out the exact same rhythm. It was right. They were two halves of the same whole. She wanted to comfort him any way she could. He needed, and that was everything to her.
Stop wasting time, little sister. I can take only so much of this syrup between you and the one you have chosen. Have you forgotten you have commitments to fulfill?
Darius's soft, emotionless reprimand echoed in her mind.
I am coming.
She sent no more, unwilling to share her private thoughts. Again she mourned the fact that Darius felt no emotion, not even love for her.
I may not feel it, little sister, but I know it is there. Do not fear me now after all these long centuries. I fear for you, Darius. Do not go away from us.
She hadn't meant to show her deepest anxiety to him, yet it slipped out.
There was only silence. Desari found herself trembling, her breath suddenly hard to find.
Julian tipped up her chin to search her dark eyes just as he was searching her mind for what had frightened her. "He will not leave you, Desari, will not seek death until he knows he cannot hold out any longer against the darkness within him. If that should occur, you must willingly allow him to greet the dawn. He is far too powerful; if he became the undead, many of our hunters would die before he could be destroyed. He carries that knowledge with him. It makes his existence still more difficult for him, a two-edged sword. He knows he has a chance of surviving as a vampire, of feeling at least the thrill of the many kills he would achieve, yet he still has his memories of love and duty, his code of honor, which help him hold on. He knows those he loves would be destroyed first should he turn."
Desari broke away from him to pace restlessly across the pine-strewn forest floor. Her movements were graceful, her ebony hair gleaming as if a thousand stars were tangled in it. "Tell me more of my blood kin, Julian. Tell me of their fate."
He nodded. "You must remember, Desari, the twins had lived centuries longer than most of our people without finding a lifemate. They were hunters, having to kill often, the kind of double burden nearly impossible to long endure. As each century passed and their legends grew, more people feared and shunned them. It was rumored they were more powerful than the Prince, much more dangerous. It seemed not to matter that they followed him and protected those that could not hunt. Their lives were ones of nearly total isolation from all society. It had to have been torment." Julian knew the torment of isolation.
"Yet they continued, as you continued." Desari pressed back against a tree, her eyes enormous, searching his story for a shadow of hope for her brother.
Julian nodded. "Always they endured. They went after the vampires high society had embraced. The battles were long and fierce, as the undead were ancients with much power and now government backing. Rewards were posted for Gabriel and Lucian so that humans and the undead alike hunted them. They fought the many servants of the vampire, hosts of ghouls and zombies and demented creatures created at the undead's whim. Always they were the victors, and while our people were thankful, each time the twins emerged alive, the whispers grew of creatures half in our world and half in that of the darkness."
"How unfair!" Desari was angry at such treacherous behavior by those of her own race. What if Darius were to be treated in such a manner by those who followed Mikhail? Her fists curled at her sides until her knuckles grew white.
"Yes, it was unfair, yet not altogether untrue. As a male ages, as the hunter grows in strength and the number of his kills, he does live partially in the world of darkness. How could he not? They were powerful, and there were two of them, their pact strong. They would be invincible should they turn. Who could destroy them? Gregori was young then, as was Mikhail, though they sometimes secretly sheltered the two warriors when their wounds were severe. I know that Gregori and Mikhail both supplied blood on more than one occasion." Julian rubbed one eyebrow thoughtfully. "Gregori knew I saw them, but he said nothing to me. I was very young, you understand, no more than nine. I was very awed by the two legends, and, even then, by Gregori, who was rapidly growing in stature, and Mikhail, in line to be Prince. I would never have betrayed their secret, and I think they knew that."
"How sad the twins' lives must have been." Desari sounded as if she might weep. Julian was across the distance separating them instantly, wrapping her in his strong arms. "Really, Julian, to have the people so unappreciative of their sacrifices must have been a terrible thing. They were like men without family or country or even friends." As Julian had been. She suddenly realized the enormity of his sacrifice. He had been a man without family, country, or friends, and he did not even have his twin brother beside him. Love and compassion surged through her, strong and powerful. Julian would know love. He would have a home, a family, everything she could give him.
"That is the danger inherent in the hunter's acquisition of power and skill and experience in centuries of battles. The two were lethal hunters, equal in strength, in intellect, in fighting ability. None was their better. And then the wars came. The Turk invasions that depleted the ranks of our people, destroyed our women and children. Our people had chosen to fight alongside those humans they had befriended and known for years, but we lost the ancient prince and most of those skilled in hunting."
"That is when Darius saved us," Desari offered.
Julian nodded. "During that period, yes," he agreed. "It was at that same time that Gabriel and Lucian really became legendary warriors, two against the Turk multitudes and the vampires thriving among them, driving the armies to do hideous things to their captives - the tortures and mutilations you can read about in history books. Some individuals slaughtered countless innocent women and children, drank blood, bathed in it, and feasted on living flesh while the orchestraters, the vampires, looked on and rejoiced. But Gabriel and Lucian were in constant pursuit of these enemies, and the body count the two of them achieved was so high, no one could believe they were real and not some mysterious death winds blowing in and out of villages, leaving little in their wake. Vampires disappeared by the dozens, and legions of their soldiers and demented creatures, mostly noblemen and women, were killed or exposed. War raged everywhere. The damage to humans and Carpathians alike was devastating. Sickness and death followed, homelessness and hunger, savage slavery of the impoverished. It was a hideous, merciless time for all."
"And my kin?"
"Few actually could claim to have laid eyes on them, but they were everywhere, tirelessly destroying the enemy, saving our few remaining women, still without lifemates or hope of their own. It is said they consulted with Gregori and Mikhail at this time, and I witnessed one such meeting right after Mikhail's father was killed trying to save a human village. Shortly after, at Mikhail's order, I was taken from the region and placed in hiding with the remaining children. Mikhail was young to be a leader, but he had vision and realized our people were facing extinction. He and Gregori, the next oldest to survive, moved at once to protect the few surviving women and children. Gregori and Mikhail seldom spoke of the two ancients or that time, perhaps because both had lost - or thought they lost - their own families while trying to save their race. But their skills and accomplishments at such a young age were almost inconceivable."
"And what of the twins?" she prompted, intrigued by this history she had never known, her roots, her bloodline.
"When things finally settled down in Transylvania and Romania, throughout the Carpathian Mountains, it is said the pair traveled to Paris and London and anywhere else in Europe vampires were striving for a foothold. They hunted throughout the continent, always working together as a single unit. The stories of their unearthly powers grew beyond legends to mythology."
Julian moved away from her and shoved a hand through his golden mane. "The rumors started about half a century later. That Lucian had fallen to the dark side. That he was vampire, preying on the human face. No hunter could find him or even his trail. Only Gabriel would have been able. The hunt for Lucian went on for well over a century. It was unlike anything our people had known. Vampires are messy killers, leaving a trail of blood and death recognizable to any of us, exposing us to discovery by mortals and their inevitable mistaken assumptions that vampire and Carpathian are one and the same. In some ways it is fortunate for us that human police often label the murders and mutilations as the work of serial killers or cults. Otherwise we all would be hunted until we were no more.
"But Lucian was unlike any vampire ever known. There is no record of him slaying a woman or child, of creating servants or ghouls. He made hundreds of kills but only among the corrupt, the evil, the scourges of the earth. Many of our hunters were misled, perplexed, and came away thinking perhaps the twins were mythical, not reality. Only Gabriel recognized Lucian's work. Only Gabriel could track him."
"No one else would help him?"
Julian shook his head. "No one else could help him. Gabriel was a legend himself. An angel of death. No one approached him or dared try to ease his task. He pursued Lucian, often found him, but because they were equals, the battles were long and ferocious but never decisive, with both striking terrible blows, only to break apart and attempt to heal themselves for the next battle. It went on for years until, one day, they both simply seemed to vanish off the face of the earth."
Desari's long lashes fluttered for a moment. "That is it? The entire story? They just disappeared?"
"There are many stories our people believe. One is that Gabriel ended Lucian's life and then chose to greet the sun. I believe that is what happened. Ancient as he was, he would have been so close to the darkness himself, and without a lifemate or even his brother to hold him, long dead, I believe Gabriel simply laid it down. He had lived long and alone; he deserved release into the afterlife."
Desari shook her head. "I cannot believe that after holding out for so long, fighting so many battles, Lucian would choose darkness and Gabriel would be forced to hunt his own brother, his twin. It is so terrible."
"It is a chance all hunters take. The kill triggers a sensation of power in us. For one who has no emotions, no other feelings, it can be tempting, addicting. There is also the problem of when to stop. If Lucian hung on to fight vampires as long as he was able, he might have been too late to make a rational choice. Some say Gabriel turned also, and when the two vampires fought for supremacy, both were killed. I do not think that is so, because there would have remained some evidence of the battle. Gabriel respected Lucian; he would have chosen to destroy all evidence of their battle and Lucian's defeat before he walked into the sun."
"You cannot hunt like these men any longer, Julian," Desari said, biting at her lower lip. "I cannot bear this to happen to you. It is a horrible story. Two men who gave their lives for their people, and no one cared for them, no one appreciated them."
His smile was tender. "
Piccola, there is no need to fear. I cannot turn now. You are my light, the goodness to my darkness, the air I breathe and my reason for existing. The twins did not find their lifemates, but do not think they were unappreciated by our race. Though they were feared, they are also much revered, and many stories and songs have been written in their honor."
"A bit late for them," she sniffed indignantly. "It is hardly a happy story, and I do not like the ending. I do not wish this for my brother. We must find for him whatever he needs to survive."
"He needs to find his other half, cara, and there is no telling when or if that will happen."
"Maybe I will see what I can do. My voice is powerful; my words can weave enchantments. I have brought couples back to love and laughter, healed grief-stricken parents. I will try to draw to us the one my brother needs."
"If she comes to your concert, believe me, Desari, there will be no need of enchantments. Darius will recognize her instantly. He will not allow her to leave."
"He does not have this knowledge. Maybe I should tell him."
Julian shook his head. "No, it is better to allow nature to take its course in these things. If one is close to turning, one might try to force what is not there. If it happens for him, he will know what to do. Every male is born with the ritual words, with the instincts to bind his woman to him. It will be there for him when he needs it."
"What if she does not want him?" Desari asked. "We have seen that ourselves," he teased.
Her hand cupped his face, her thumb lovingly tracing the hard line of his jaw. "I wanted you from the first moment I saw you." Desari shook her head. "No wonder the males of our species become so arrogant. They are able to tie a woman to them without her consent or even her knowledge. That must make them feel very superior." Her tone conveyed her annoyance.
"I think they are more inclined to feel humble," he answered sincerely. "When a male has survived so many centuries with no color or emotion, and he finds the one who brings him light and compassion, music and joy, he can do no other than revere her."
She quirked an eyebrow at him. "They still should not have the right to tie a woman without her consent. What is wrong with courting her? It might help to calm her fears and make her feel she is special to him."
"How could a woman feel anything but special when a man needs and wants her so much? A woman has only to touch her lifemate's mind to know what is in his heart. She knows who he is, his good traits and his failings."
"Even if she is a fledgling? Any ancient could hide whatever he wanted from one so young. I cannot imagine the fear a woman would feel tied without her consent to such a powerful being. She would not have a sense of her own worth, who she was or even what special gifts or talents she had."
Julian captured her hand, placed a kiss in the center of her palm, feeling her distress for the women unknown to her robbed of their childhood. It had been difficult enough for Desari, as strong a woman as she was, to accept that Julian had some kind of dominion over her. Even knowing she had the same dominion over him, it was still frightening to her. It was an admission of need. A need to be close to him always.
Julian's hand framed her face. "Never fear the need between us. Whatever you are feeling, cara, I
feel twice as much. I was without color or song or emotion for far too long. I have had many bleak centuries to help me learn appreciation for my lifemate. You did not need my existence in the same way that I needed yours - even to continue my life, to save my soul. Had we never met, you would have lived far longer before the emptiness of your existence became too much to bear."
Desari lay her head on his shoulder, wanting to hold him close. "I think our need for one another is mutual, Julian."
Desari. The night is winging across the sky, and you two are still gazing into one another's eyes. This concert is yours. We have not yet rehearsed, and there is no way to plan without your presence. I will not repeat myself in this matter.
Darius's black velvet voice was soft with menace. He demanded her presence, and she must comply.
Desari sighed. "We must go before it is too late to cross the distance this night. The others wait for us."
Julian's hand cupped the nape of her neck so that he could hold her still while he bent his head to find her mouth with his. She could sense his amusement at the order for their return to the family fold and her obvious need to comply with it.
"We must, Julian," she whispered, afraid he might attempt to defy Darius.
He smirked at her, his white teeth flashing. "Come along, little chick, we must obey the big bad wolf or something terrible might happen."
"You do not even know," she answered solemnly. His laughter was his only answer.