‘So if I get my credits, I could start as a sophomore next year,’ I explained to Alisha when I called her Friday night, taking a break from my shift at the diner. ‘I wouldn’t miss a thing.’
‘Uh-huh, that’s great.’ Alisha paused. ‘And Ethan’s good?’
‘Yup. Work’s fine too,’ I offered, wishing I had something more exciting to share. ‘Crazy Mrs Wellstone is fighting with her neighbour over the land division again; she kept lighting garbage on fire and throwing it over the fence. They had to send two deputies to calm her down.’
‘Wow, scandal in Haverford, it never stops.’ Alisha’s voice was teasing, but it made me regret saying anything at all.
We fell silent. I could hear noise in the background on her side of the call, laughter and loud music. ‘Sounds like a party,’ I offered quietly, feeling a sting of envy as I looked around the diner. It was after ten now, just a few customers lingering over late-night fries and pie.
‘What was that?’ Alisha asked, sounding distracted.
‘I said . . . Never mind,’ I sighed.
‘Oh, wait, did I tell you, I saw Jace Dade the other day?’ Alisha asks, naming a boy who’d been the year above us in school. ‘He’s at college out here too, it was totally random – I bumped into him at this party thing by a guy in my calculus class. We talked about you,’ she added. ‘He couldn’t believe you’re still in town. He said you were like the girl least likely to stay in Haverford.’
She laughed, but I felt the words like a blow.
‘I mean it though, Chloe.’ Alisha’s voice dropped. ‘You need to figure this out; it doesn’t make any sense for you to be stuck back there, not after everything we went through to get into college in the first place.’ There was muffled conversation for a moment, and then Alisha’s voice came again. ‘Look, I’ve got to go. Things are crazy here. Say hi to my dad, OK?’
‘OK,’ I replied, but she’d already hung up; back to the party of her new life, while I wiped down tables and refilled ketchup bottles.
I didn’t know if I could take talking to her any more. Every call reminded me of what I was missing out on, how small and mundane my life had become. She was my last remaining friend, save Ethan – the rest of my high school classmates had drifted away in a clutter of online updates and laughing photos – but I could sense Alisha’s reluctance every time she answered my calls, hear the faked enthusiasm in her voice when she quizzed me about my boring jobs and everyday life.
We’d always been glued together by ambition: to get into a good college, out of Indiana, to have more than the pedestrian lives we saw played out every day around us. ‘Eyes on the prize’ we’d tell each other, as much a comfort when we were passed over for dates and party invites as a motivation. Alisha was the sheriff’s daughter, sure, but her good-girl status ran deeper than that, a fear of winding up no better than her cousin—a cautionary tale who fooled around with her boyfriend and wound up pregnant at sixteen, taking night classes at the community college and grappling for her diploma.
‘She was stupid,’ Alisha would say scornfully. ‘Mess around like that, there’s always consequences.’
I believed it too. If you followed the rules, if you were careful and hardworking, you would get what you wanted in the end.
But I was beginning to see how naïve that was. I’d always done the right thing, but there I was on a Friday night, pouring soda refills, while people who worked half as hard, sacrificed half as much, were living it up in a world I could only imagine.
By eleven, there was only one other person left in the diner. Crystal was sprawled in a back booth, showing no signs of leaving. She’d been there for hours now, dressed in a pair of tight black jeans and a leather jacket, ekeing out a side of fries and a single Coke.
‘We’re closing.’ I loitered by her table, eyeing the cheque she’d left untouched.
She glanced at her phone and sighed. ‘My ride is late. Can I hang out until he shows?’
‘I guess . . . ’ I looked around, but there was nobody to see either way. ‘I mean, sure.’
I finished sweeping up, and began turning over chairs and pushing the tables back. Crystal didn’t move from the booth, she was poring over a local newspaper with a red pen bit between her teeth. It was the classifieds, I could see.
‘You’re looking for a job?’ I asked.
She looked up. ‘Yeah. My new boss at the Quick-stop is a total ass, he keeps brushing up against me. Accidentally.’ Her voice dripped with scorn.
I wandered closer, curious.
‘Any luck?’ I nodded at the paper.
She shook her head. ‘Nothing yet.’
‘I’ll keep an eye out at the sheriff’s office,’ I offered. ‘People are posting ads on the bulletin board all the time.’
‘Thanks.’ Crystal blinked. She looked at me from under her choppy bleached bangs. ‘How do you like it there?’
‘Fine.’ I shrugged. ‘I mean, it’s a job.’
‘Tell me about it,’ she sighed. ‘You get benefits?’
‘In another month.’ I was counting the days until my basic insurance kicked in and I could take Mom to the doctor, maybe find her some medication.
‘I bet it’s hard keeping a straight face with those guys,’ Crystal added, rummaging in her purse. She pulled out a compact mirror and makeup bag. ‘They think they’re such big-shots, walking around town with their badges and guns. But hey, bet you get out of speeding tickets easy.’
‘I don’t know.’ I watched her apply another layer of liner, smudging the kohl black around her eyes. ‘I never tried.’
‘You should. Minimum wage is shitty enough, you’ve got to take the perks where you can.’ Crystal looked up at me and cocked her head. ‘You should wear lipstick sometime, stop you looking all washed out.’
From any other girl, it would have been a catty insult, but Crystal sounded friendlier than I’d ever heard before.
I propped the broom against the wall and slid into the booth. Crystal passed me a lipstick. ‘Try this one.’
I thought a moment about hygiene, then immediately felt bad about it. The shade was a deep pink, one I’d never buy for myself. I never really wore much makeup, aside from a dab of lipgloss and mascara sometimes, but watching Crystal carefully paint her face, I saw that it was more than vanity. A mask, taking her normal expression and making it bold and edgy.