"Daisy, my child," she said suddenly after a while, - "there
is only one thing to be said; and the word is not mine. 'If
the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated
you."
"Why, Miss Cardigan," said I, smiling, "do you think the,
world will hate me for such a thing?"
"It hates all those who pretend to tell it is wrong."
"I do not pretend to tell it anything," I said.
"There is no preaching like that of the life. Daisy, have you
well considered this matter?"
"For years."
"Then I'll know how to pray for you," she said. And there our
conversation ended. It had laid on my heart a grave burden of
well-defined care, which went with me thenceforth. I could
never ignore it nor doubt it was there. Not but I knew well
enough each several point in our discussion, before it had
come up in words between Miss Cardigan and me; but having so
come up, and taken form, each was a tangible thing for ever
after. It is odd, how much we can bear unspoken, to which
words give an unendurable weight and power. However, these
troubles, in their present form, were not unendurable. I only
felt them constantly from that time.
My visits to Miss Cardigan now were what they had always been;
only perhaps she was a little more tenderly affectionate and
careful of me. We did not go back to the discussions of that
day, nor to any other regarding my affairs; but she and I
scanned the papers well, and talked to each other of the items
that seemed now to touch Thorold's and my future as well as
the future of the country. We talked, - I could not help it;
and yet often I would as lief not; the subjects were not
quieting.
The first thing, was the going to Washington of Christian and
his class. He wrote to me about it. They went in haste and
zeal; waiting for nothing; losing not a train; going by night.
Some in civilian's dress; some in cadet clothes, with the
black stripe torn off the leg; all eager for their work. What
work? It was peaceful enough work just at first. Thorold and
others were set to drill the new citizen soldiers who had come
in, answering to the President's proclamation, and who knew
simply nothing of the business they were to be wanted for, if
wanted at all. It was likely they would have something to do!
Already a second proclamation from the President had called
for a second supply of men, to serve for three years, if the
war was not sooner ended. Seamen for the navy also, in like
manner.