"I must take a battery across the country to General
Patterson."
"That will take you out of the way," I said.
"Out of the way of what?" said he, drawing me to his breast,
and looking down into my face with his hazel eyes sparkling
over a depth of something that was not merry. "Out of the way
of what, Daisy?" he repeated. "Out of the way of fighting, do
you mean? Is that your way of being a proper soldier's wife?
It is out of your way, love; that is what I think of."
I hid my face and we stood still. It was no time then to be
dignified.
"How long?" - I whispered at last.
"Impossible to tell, you know. I could not meet you this
evening. I must be off in an hour."
"To-night?"
"Yes."
There was another silence.
"What is General Patterson doing?" I ventured then.
"I suppose he has to keep Johnston in order. How long will you
stay in Washington? - can you tell?"
"Till Dr. Sandford can travel. - He is no better."
"Well!" - and a breath of a sigh came then which went to my
heart - "Something will be decided before a few days; and then
we shall know a little better where we stand. I must go!"
He clasped me close and gave me kisses all over my face; but I
would not have lost one this time. Then he gently put me on
the sofa, pressed his lips to mine one last time, and was out
of the room in an instant. I listened to every step in the
hall; I heard him open the door and shut it; I heard his foot
upon the stone steps outside two or three times; and then I
had lost all.
I sat very still and stunned for a long time. There seemed
nothing to do. I could not rouse myself. It was the fear of
being found there that roused me at last. I gathered myself
up, and went to my room. Oh days, days! How much one lives
through.
I was keen set now for news, army news especially; and I spent
hours in studying all the public prints that were within reach
of my hand. So contradictory they were, and so confusing, that
they made me only the more long for actual living advices. The
second day, Major Fairbairn came to ask me again to ride; and
though at first I thought I could not, the next feeling of
restless uncertainty and suspense decided me. Better be on a
horse's back than anywhere else, perhaps. And Major Fairbairn
was not a bad person to talk to. But I had to nerve myself
forcibly to the task of entering upon the subject I wanted.
"How perplexing the papers are," I remarked, by way of making
an easy beginning.