But I, with trembling hope, was beginning to think otherwise.
So the days passed on, and the weeks. Mamma spent half her
time over the newspapers. I consulted them, I could not help
it, in my old fashion; and it made them gruesome things to me.
But it was a necessity for me, to quiet my nerves with the
certainty that no name I loved was to be found there in those
lists of sorrow.
And one day that certainty failed. Among the new arrivals of
wounded men just come into Washington from Virginia, I saw the
name of Captain Preston Gary.
It was late in the summer, or early in September; I forget
which. We were as we had been; nothing in our position
changed. Mamma at the moment was busy over other prints,
having thrown this down; and feeling my cheeks grow white as I
sat there, I held the paper to shield my face and pondered
what I should do. The instant thought had been, "I must go to
him." The second brought difficulties. How to meet the
difficulties, I sat thinking; that I must go to Preston I
never doubted for a moment. I sat in a maze; till an
exclamation from my mother brought my paper shield down.
"Here's a letter from the doctor, Daisy; he says your cousin
is in the hospital."
"His hospital?" I asked.
"I suppose so; he does not say that. But he says he is badly
wounded. I wonder how he comes to be in Washington?"
"Taken prisoner, mamma."
"Yes, - wounded," mamma said bitterly. "That's the only way he
could. Dr. Sandford bids me let his mother know. She can't go
to him; even if my letter could reach her in time and she
could get to Washington, which I don't believe she could; she
is too ill herself. I shall not write to her."
"Let us go, mamma; you and I."
"I?" said mamma. "I go to that den of thieves? No; I shall not
go to Washington, unless I am dragged there."
"But Preston, mamma; think!"
"I am tired of thinking, Daisy. There is no good in thinking.
This is the work of your favourite Northern swords and guns; I
hope you enjoy it."
"I Would like to remedy it, mamma; to do something at least.
Mamma, do let us go to Preston!"
I spoke very earnestly, and I believe with tears. Mamma looked
at me.
"Why, do you care for him?" she asked.
"Very much!" I said weeping.
"I did not know you had any affection for anything South,
except the coloured people."
"Mamma, let us go to Preston. He must want us so much!"
"I cannot go to Washington, Daisy."
"Can you spare me, mamma? I will go."