The blanket twisted around his narrow hips, one muscled arm thrown over his head, and he was naked. Okay, at least from the navel up.
Snap out of it, I ordered myself. “Hayden? Wake up.” I inched closer, raising my voice. “Hayden! Wake up.”
His arm dropped from his face and blinked several times. Slowly he eased himself up on his elbows, squinting.
“Good.” I swallowed and tried to smile. “You’re awake.”
Hayden frowned.
“You have to get up! I need you—”
He threw the blanket aside, revealing that, in fact, he wasn’t completely naked. He wore flannel pajama bottoms. “What is it?” He came to his feet. “Are you okay?”
“I…” I could only stare. My memories of how he looked shirtless hadn’t been burned in my mind like I had thought. I had missed little details—the line running down his stomach, the muscles that popped near his hips.
“Ember, are you all right?”
“Yeah.” I closed my eyes and turned around. “I have to show you something.”
“Show me something? Ember, it’s almost morning. Can’t it wait?”
His lack of interest stung, but I persisted. “No. Just come on. Then you can go back to bed. Okay?”
Hayden muttered something as he grabbed a shirt off the floor and tugged it over his head. Silently, he followed me back to my bedroom. I shut the door behind us and led him to the other side of the bed.
“You wanted to show me your bedroom floor?”
I exhaled slowly. “No. I wanted to show you this.” Without looking at him, I sat down and pulled the plant into my lap. “You ready?”
“Yeah,” he said quietly, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Ember, why are there a bunch of dead…” Realization dawned across his expression, and in that pause, he looked sad—disappointed. Not what I expected.
“Hayden?”
“I haven’t been working with you,” he said.
“I know, but—”
“You’ve kept up on it.”
“Well, not until recently.”
“Em, I’m sorry. I’ve let my own problems—my own mixed-up feelings—get in the way.”
I stared at him, growing impatient. “Hayden, it’s okay. All is forgiven, but can you just look—”
“It’s not okay.” He dropped his arms over his bent knees. “You’ve been at this all alone and why? Because of… well, whatever.”
“Hayden.” I leaned forward and wrapped my hand around the closest thing I could reach—his calf. He stiffened, but didn’t move, although I think his body gave off more heat than normal. “It’s not your responsibility to fix me. I’m not your science fair project. You don’t owe me an explanation.”
“Em, I don’t think of you as an experiment. I don’t think of you like that at all.”
I wondered how he did think of me. “Okay, fine. But can you just watch me for a second? I have something I want to show you.”
Hayden nodded.
I let go of his leg and closed my eyes. Concentrating with him in the room proved harder than I’d thought. When I felt sure I had that “I have control” mantra on repeat, I cupped the slender stem and ran my hand up it.
Hayden’s startled gasp caused my eyes to flutter open. The snakelike plant remained whole and healthy.
“Em.” He dropped to his knees beside me, eyes wide. “Did you see that?”
I grinned. “Yes.”
“How—how did you do that?”
“I’ve been practicing, but it hadn’t worked till tonight.”
“Okay.” He picked up the pot and placed it aside. “Touch me.”
“What? I don’t think that’s the next logical step, Hayden. This is the first time I haven’t killed a plant. Let me soak in that victory for a bit, first.”
He smiled, momentarily stunning me. It had been ages since I’d seen him really smile, the one that showed those dimples. “What did you do differently this time?”
A hot flush spread over my cheeks. “It was something Parker said, actually. That I’d made myself believe… the whole soulless thing so I didn’t have any responsibility or control, but it’s more than that.”
Hayden shifted closer. “What?”
I swallowed. “I told myself. I had a gift… I’m not cursed, you know?”
“I know—I’ve always known that. I guess you just had to believe that.”
My eyes fell to where his hands rested. Out of everything to ask and be concerned about, I went with the entirely ridiculous. “Why have we been mad at each other?”
“Mad at you?” Hayden rocked back. Three counts went by before he spoke again. “I haven’t been mad at you, Em.”
There was no turning back now. I was probably going to regret this. “But you haven’t really talked to me or… spent any time with me. Not since that night in the cabin when I told you that my parents knew about Olivia’s gift… and I thought, after what you said when I woke you up… well, I don’t know what I thought.”
He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “It’s been hard. I didn’t want to believe that anyone I knew was behind the stuff in the locker, and you were right, but it’s more than that. I just need— needed some time to sort it all out.”
I came to my feet, wiping my hands over my shorts. I felt his gaze inching over me. I realized then, he’d probably never seen my legs before. He didn’t say anything as he stood. “What is it?”
He looked like he was about to retreat, shut back down. Watching the war of emotions battle across his face, I had a burst of courage. “I’m not mad that you didn’t believe me when I said it was one of your family members doing that stuff. Okay, I was mad, but not anymore. It’s done now.”
“I should’ve believed you, though. The evidence was pointing at one of them. I shouldn’t have doubted you.”
But he’d had reason to doubt me. They were his family and Phoebe was important to him. If the situation had been flipped, I’d have had a hard time accepting what was in front of my face, too. “Can’t we just move past this?”
Hayden stared, eyes darkening to a shade of night.
Frustrated, my arms dropped to my sides. “Don’t you like me anymore?”
“Yes,” he said immediately. “Of course I do.”
“Then can’t we be friends?”
Hayden moved his hand to his chest, rubbing a spot by his heart. “Em, it’s hard being friends with you.”
My stomach dropped. Not a pleasant feeling. I thought of my effect on Phoebe and winced. What had Kurt said? I was getting to Hayden, too. “I… well, wow. I have no idea how to respond to that.”
“I don’t mean it the way you’re taking it.” He glanced around the room, sighing. “Look, I’m not explaining this right. Aren’t you tired?”
I shook my head. “Are you?”
His dark eyes flicked to my face, impossible to read. “I’m wide awake now.”
I admitted to myself right there, I had no idea where this conversation was going. “Um, you can stay—if you want to.”
He stared at me in silence, and then headed over to the balcony doors. Somewhat mystified, I watched him draw the shades over the door. There was a barely there smile on his face when he locked the bedroom door.
“I doubt anyone will check on you, but better be safe than sorry.” He gestured at the bed. A faint blush tinged the tips of his cheekbones. “You first?”
I hurried to the bed and scooted to the far right side, suddenly nervous. My eyes felt impossibly wide as I watched him come back to the bed. “Do you want to practice with the plant some more?”
Hayden made his way to the side I’d escaped to and sat on the bed beside me. “No.”
“Oh.” I bit my lip, racking my brain for something to say. I came up empty.
“There are a couple of things I want to clear up.” His eyes found mine and held them. “Phoebe and I aren’t seeing each other. In fact, there’s never been anything romantic between us.”
A ridiculous amount of elation swelled in my chest, but I pushed it down. “But I’ve seen the way she looks at you. And the night of the arrow accident, I… saw you two together in the living room.”
“Phoebe may’ve had a… crush on me at one time, but she knows I’m not available.” He leaned over me, placing one hand on the bed beside my hip. We were so close I could feel the heat rolling off of him. Shifting closer, he picked a strand of hair off my shoulder and wrapped the thick curl around his finger. I froze. “And you misinterpreted what you saw. Her gift… well, you know it’s been getting to her. I was draining some of it so she wasn’t feeling everything. I’ve done it for years.”
“But you guys were so close…”
“Yeah, but it wasn’t what you thought.” His lips formed a crooked smile. “She’s not the one I want to be close to.”
I sucked in a deep breath. Confused, I pressed my hands against his stomach. I wanted him… to touch me like he had in the cabin, but he’d said it was hard to even be friends with me. How was this making it easier? But I couldn’t—didn’t want to stop him. Hayden’s warm breath danced over my cheek and his eyes held a lot of depth. I thought I could probably get lost in them if I wanted to.
“And it’s been hard being just friends with you when I want to be more than that. Seeing you every day, wanting to touch you…” He stopped, looking thoughtful.
“What are you thinking?” I breathed.
“Well,” he drawled. “I’m thinking something really crazy right now.”
“What?” I moved my lips closer to his. I’m not even sure if I was aware of doing it.
“I’m thinking about kissing you,” he said, “and touching you. It’s all I can think about. It’s why it’s been so hard being around you.”
My heart jumped in my chest, and then sped up erratically. The thick tension hit a new all-time high. Surprisingly, I found that I still had the ability to speak. “That’s really crazy.”
“Yeah.” He dropped my hair. “Crazy stuff.”
“You should really think about something else,” I advised, even as I moved my hand up the front of his shirt, stopping over his heart.
Hayden placed his hand on the small of my back. That touch wiped away the logical part of my brain. “What are you thinking about?”
He was close, way too close. The scent of soap and spice filled my senses. I let my eyes drift shut. “Kissing you,” I admitted in a low voice.
“I wish you hadn’t said that,” he said, unbelievably still.
“I know, but you started it.” I took a deep breath and opened my eyes. “We shouldn’t do this. I don’t know if I can.”
“You didn’t kill the plant, Ember.”