I would be timing my end so that you can reach in time to shed a tear or two over my body before the need for its disposal is felt by the living.
With sisterly love,
Vasavi.
Even as Chandra finished reading, he was again all in tears.
“You've dropped your ticket,” the man opposite said, handing it back to Chandra.
“Thanks,” Chandra muttered
“You seem troubled,” the man seemed concerned.
Chandra nodded for 'yes' as he found him sympathetic.
“What's the matter?”
“Well, it might take a lifetime to narrate,” Chandra said philosophically, “and two to grasp it.”
“I hope all ends well,” said the other before withdrawing.
“Thank you,” said Chandra before wondering within. “Did Rashid's call materialize in time? Wouldn't she have timed it all wrong to be pulled back from the brink? Won't I take her along with me now? Won't Bombay change her to cheer up?”
As his hopes rose, he felt excited.
However, a little later, as the train stopped in some wilderness, he peered out in irritation. In despair, he tried to visualize the void she would leave in their life if she were dead. When the train stood rooted for long, Chandra became restless all again. Meanwhile, those around the exits stepped down to loosen their limbs. And to ascertain the cause of the hold-up, the curious in the compartments too followed suit.
“It seems there was a derailment,” announced someone who gathered the news from the guard.
“Oh, God,” sighed a lady in Chandra‟s compartment, "then it would take a couple of hours, at the least.‟
Hearing her, Chandra was crestfallen as if he was woken up to a new reality.
"Does it portend disaster?‟ Chandra couldn't help but think in exasperation. "Oh, how frustrating is this! She could've been really desperate to resort to suicide, wouldn't she?‟
"Is it courage or cowardice that drives people to end their lives?‟ he thought. "Would have her courage deserted her at the brink? Maybe her cowardice could've pulled her back from the precipice. Well, can cowards commit suicide, as it requires a great deal of courage to end it all, once and for all? Isn't life dear to one and all? If so, doesn't it require courage to die? And courage to die is all too different from that required to carry on living against odds. Well, only those who lack the courage to change their lot and unable to cower in the face of death resort to suicide, so it seems.‟
While Chandra was lost in thought, nature ran its routine course. It was sunset by the time he came out of his reverie and the train didn't yet receive the green signal to resume its eastward course. At length though, signaling motion, the driver honked the horn and that was music to Chandra's weary soul. For its part, the power jolted the bogies as though to rid them of their inertia.