I quickly packed my things and returned to the living room. Tristan stood waiting, and as we left, I had the feeling whatever progress we'd made while we'd been in Dallas was gone, blacked out by my silly slip of the tongue.
Men were funny when it came to expressing what they felt, but a woman knew the truth about the man she was with if she cared to pay attention. Tristan was very much the same man he'd been with me all along as we rode on the plane and the drive back to the house. He laughed at my forced jokes, which was nice since I felt like I was walking on eggshells, and even held my hand as we rode from JFK to his house upstate.
But there was something different about him. It was subtle, but it was there.
By the time we got back to the house, all I wanted to do was skulk into my bedroom with my tail between my legs and hope that a little time apart would repair any damage I'd done. I wouldn't have blamed him if he wanted to escape to the city. He seemed as interested as I was in going off on his own and made some excuse about having work to do as we walked through the front door.
A quick shower and I was ready to crawl under the covers. I changed into my t-shirt and shorts and flopped down on the bed, physically and emotionally exhausted. How he travelled like he did baffled me. Just the trip to his penthouse and then to Dallas had worn me out, but I knew what I was feeling was more in my heart than in my bones.
Regret was exhausting. And for two days and two nights it nearly wore me out. I busied myself with researching possible art groupings for future suites and penthouses, just trying to keep my mind off what had happened. Noticeably absent were any flowers in my room when I woke up either morning.
On the third day, I checked my email and saw that Jordan had sent me a message. I stared at my laptop's screen in terror, praying to God that she hadn't sent me anymore links to pictures of Tristan and stunning women. Finally, after a long tug of war between wanting to know what she'd sent and pure, unadulterated dread at the thought of him with someone else, I clicked on the little envelope icon and breathed a tremendous sigh of relief. No Tristan and hot women, thankfully. Just an email to tell me I needed to pay my cell phone bill. Seems I'd forgotten to pay it and the fine people at the phone company had been good enough to send me a reminder that had ended up in her mailbox that morning.
I tapped out a quick thank you email, making sure I let her know that everything was so much better now between Tristan and me. Lying to my best friend made me feel worse, but I didn't know how to explain that I'd actually succeeded in finding out he wasn't with other women only to ruin everything with a rookie dating mistake.
Despite not having even a bar of service out there, I had to keep my cell. I may have been out in the country, but I wasn't back in time. A few clicks and I was at my bank's online site with the hope that I had enough in my account to pay my bill. Poor and I were long time friends since college, but if Tristan had deposited the $20,000 advance in my account, I'd be in better shape than ever before.
I logged in and for the first time in my life, a number took my breath away. My eyes were glued to the page for so long they began to dry out. I rubbed them and opened them again to see my bank account had a balance of $25,085.47.
There must have been some mistake. Over and over I told myself those exact words as I clicked to check the source of the deposits. One for $20,000 had been made the day I'd signed my contract and one the day after we returned from Dallas for $5000. But what was that for? I wasn't due to be paid for my first month for weeks.
A knock on my door that night shook me out of feeling sorry for myself and my lovelife woes, and I opened it to see Tristan standing there in just the silk pajama bottoms I'd seen draped over a chair in his room.
"I'd hoped you'd be in my room," he said with that innocence that sometimes seeped into his voice.
I looked away and bit my lip nervously. "I just figured you'd want to be alone. I mean...well, I thought maybe you'd be back at the penthouse instead of staying here."
"Why?"
His question made me turn to look at him, and he seemed genuinely confused by what I thought. There was a gentleness in his eyes that made me want to say what was on my mind, so I came clean.
"I'm so sorry I said that back in Dallas, Tristan. I didn't mean to put words in your mouth. It's only been a short time that we've known each other. I mean, it feels much longer since we've spent so much time together, but..." I let my sentence trail off and finally said, "I didn't mean that I actually thought you felt that way."