Chapter Twenty-Two
Jessie loitered outside the Pizza Barn in Moorcroft. She kept her phone to her ear, pretending to be in the middle of an important conversation.
Stop stalling.
She pocketed her cell and entered the restaurant. Normally she took a second to breathe in the tangy scents of oregano, tomato sauce, spicy meat and cheese, and the earthy aroma of baking crust. But today, she didn’t smell a thing.
Probably because you’re holding your breath.
Two tables had customers. One booth held an older couple chowing down on pizza. A petite woman sat in the other booth, stirring a glass of soda. Had to be Samantha.
Jessie’s heart galloped as she slowly crossed the room and stopped in front of the booth. “Samantha?”
“Yes?”
“I’m Jessie.” She slid into the opposite seat without being asked, and scrutinized the woman without apology.
Samantha Johnston looked young now, so Jessie couldn’t fathom how young she must’ve looked two and a half years ago. Her body type was slight. Not busty. An air of fragility surrounded her. A feature Jessie recognized because she’d had that same trait when she’d met Luke McKay.
“So if you’re done inspecting me…”
She shrugged. “You had to expect that.”
“Yes, I did. Thanks for coming early. I worried Brandt wouldn’t pass along the message that I wanted to meet you.”
Jessie frowned. “Why wouldn’t Brandt—”
“Because he’s very protective of you.” Samantha leaned back into the booth seat and crossed her arms over her chest, almost defiantly.
The waitress took Jessie’s order and neither she nor Samantha said another word, nor did they look at each other until the waitress dropped off the soda and left.
“So why the summons, Samantha? I’ll admit I wasn’t sure this was the best idea.”
“First of all, I really wanted to thank you in person for all you’ve done for Landon. I…it’s so far above and beyond…”
Please don’t get weepy.
“Plus, I feel I owe you an explanation about a couple of things regarding Luke.”
Jessie held up her hand. “Not necessary. I don’t need the down-and-dirty details about what went on between you two. Landon is proof enough for me. In fact, I’d rather not know.”
“Part of my A.A. program and rehab assignment is owning up to my past behavior.”
“Apologizing for it?” Jessie asked sharply.
“Would you accept an apology from me?”
I don’t know.
Samantha blurted, “The truth is I wasn’t in love with Luke and he wasn’t in love with me. We weren’t star-crossed lovers consumed with overpowering lust or any of that romantic movie bullshit.”
That caught her attention.
“For about a month after we met, we hooked up when he came into the bar where I waitressed. Since it was bar, he thought I was older than I was and I didn’t bother to tell him differently.” Samantha looked away. “And I honestly didn’t give a rat’s ass he was married. Sounds terrible, doesn’t it.”
Not a question. Jessie reached for her soda to try and wash away the sour taste in her mouth. So Luke hadn’t hidden his marital status. Was he hoping she’d get wind of this affair and leave him?
Would you have? If you’d known about this young woman, would you have left him?
No. Not then. Now? Yes. It hurt like a bitch to admit that to herself, but she was done lying to herself.
“Bottom line: I was convenient after closing time and so was he.” She blatantly studied Jessie. “You surprised?”
“To be honest, I don’t know what I am. Hurt and mad mostly. During that time I suspected Luke was seeing someone.” But I didn’t have the balls to confront him about it.
“We were only together a couple months. I was exclusive with him, even knowing he was going home to his wife after we…” She cleared her throat. “I never begged him to leave you, never wanted anything permanent with him. I broke it off with him a week before he died. No fuss, no muss. When I heard he died, I was sad, but not devastated. Probably not like you were.
“After I found out I was pregnant, I didn’t know what to do. Especially when some of Luke’s bar friends gossiped about how his family shut you out and cut you off completely. I figured they wouldn’t believe me about being pregnant, and I thought they’d do the same to me.”
“That’s where you’re wrong.”
“Didn’t matter at the time because I wasn’t sure if I was gonna keep the baby. I’d contacted a couple of adoption places, but they didn’t want to talk to me until the baby was born and I had a better grasp on my plans. I couldn’t even work in the bar because I didn’t want anyone to know I was pregnant.”
“When did you decide to keep the baby?”
“The minute I pushed him out of my body. I never knew I could love like that. I’d never felt anything like it.” She paused to take another sip of her soda. “Anyway, my old boyfriend showed up when Landon was two months old and living with my judgmental aunt was making me crazy, so we moved in with him.
Mistake. Not only was his mother certifiable, within four months I’d gotten a DUI. When I got my second…Talk about a serious wake up call. I was just lucky Landon wasn’t in the car with me. As I sat in county lockup, I realized I was headed down the same stupid path my mom had taken, drinking too much, relying on random men, leaving my kid with strangers so I could…” Samantha paused, keeping her face pointed at the table, not meeting Jessie’s eyes.
It was difficult to watch her struggle because Jessie’s first impulse was to comfort and reassure her.
She squeezed her hands into fists beneath the table and kept her mouth firmly closed.
“I ain’t gonna play the ‘my childhood sucked’ card. It sucked getting dumped off whenever my mom got tired of me, but I know I’m not the only one who had a shitty go of it growing up. I know I shouldn’t use it as an excuse to be a shitty mother to my own kid. He deserves better.”
Was this where Samantha confessed she still wasn’t ready to take on that role? Jessie braced herself, but she couldn’t stop her heart from racing.
“So I left Drex and crawled back to my aunt to prove to her I was gonna change. But she refused to believe it, refused to agree to take care of Landon when I went to jail. I panicked. I mean, what was I gonna do? My only option was to tell Luke’s family about his son and hope they could take him in for a while.”