"Do you want me to help?"
Cynthia lowered the rag again. "I could use the help."
Between the two of them, they managed to get her things into Mary's truck. Before she left, she took a piece of note paper and wrote a short note:
Mr. Cade:
I'm sorry to leave you like this without proper notice, but I simply couldn't stay any longer. I hope you find someone to take my place soon.
Cynthia.
It was the cowards' way out, but right now she wasn't up to confronting him. It was going to be hard enough to work at the diner, but it was something she was going to have to do. There were more important things to think about at the moment - like how she was going to support a baby on her meager wages. The money she had saved would have to go toward doctor bills now. All her dreams had been dashed - all but one. She had always wanted children - although this wasn't the way she had intended to start.
Inside of a week she started work at the diner. Every morning she crawled out of bed and retched for a while before getting ready for work. A doctor appointment confirmed what she already knew, and that everything was normal - as normal as it could be under the circumstances.
Cade never came to visit - a fact that sent her into a down spiraling depression. For the first three weeks she became tense as it approached 8:00 pm each Friday. After the fourth week she knew he wouldn't be back. She would have to accept the fact that she was on her own with the baby. It was hard enough to make ends meet before she took the job at the ranch. How was she going to feed a baby? She couldn't stay with Mary forever. She was faced with three basic choices: Abortion; raise the child herself; or give the baby up for adoption. Abortion was out of the question as far as she was concerned, and nothing Cade might say would change her mind. That left a choice between raising the child on her own or adopting it out. Much as she wanted the baby, she felt adoption was the best choice. What kind of future could she offer a child? She wanted the best for it - better than what she had. And that left only adoption.
In a state of deep depression, she stopped by the social services office on the way home and picked up some literature and a form. Mary was still out, so she sat down and read the pamphlet. Until now she had been thinking of no one but herself. It was time to grow up and consider the needs of the baby. She placed the form in front of her on the counter and began filling it out. They would have to get Cade's consent, but he would probably be glad to give it. Tears flowed freely as she filled out each blank space. How could she give up the baby? It was a part of Cade. How could anyone love the baby the way she could?