Her pleasure makes him glow.

I envy them sometimes, so complete together. We girls could as well not exist, although it would be different if we were boys.

“It will take some days to set up proper victory games, so tomorrow’s procession will finish with the usual weekly Fives. Lord Ottonor has requested our family’s presence in his balcony box for the occasion.”

Amaya shrieks. Even Maraya is surprised enough to gasp.

I shut my eyes as the full scope of the disaster blows down over me. My plans, my hard work, and the scraps of money I have saved for months: all washed away. If I had Bettany’s temperament I would rage and stomp. Instead I fume, thoughts whirling. It’s as if I am two people: dutiful, proper Jessamy on the edge of bitter tears, and confident, focused Jes determined to find a path through what looks like an impossible Fives maze.

“I know you all know how to behave in public from our various excursions,” Father goes on. “Furthermore, an official royal victory Fives games will follow in eleven days at the Royal Fives Court. If you girls make a properly good impression, Lord Ottonor may invite you to attend him there as well.”

“Oh, Father! I have so often dreamed of having the chance to attend the games at the Royal Fives Court!” breathes Amaya so ecstatically that I wonder if she will wet herself from sheer excitement.

Mother examines Father with a furrowed brow. “You are not one to boast, my lord, so this must be much more than an ordinary victory. It is unexpected indeed that we here in this house should be invited to Lord Ottonor’s balcony at the City Fives Court. For us to also be allowed to attend the games at the Royal Fives Court is extraordinary.”

“It was no ordinary victory, that is true.” Like Maraya, he assesses himself and his situation with clear eyes. “In his own way Lord Ottonor is a fair man and means to see me rewarded for my achievements.”

“Are you saying his star will rise in court because of your victory?”

“He has long hoped the king will give him the title of lord general. It would be a signal honor.”

“Especially since Lord Ottonor isn’t even a soldier. He sends his officers into the field to win glory for him!”

“Kiya, that is how it has always worked. Bakers’ sons do not become generals. Or even captains. I have done exceptionally well for a man of my birth and situation. You know that.” He glances at us girls and then at her pregnant belly.

A shadow chases through her eyes. “Is it wise to bring your family into such public view, Esladas?”

“I am not ashamed of you!”

All three of us girls startle. He never raises his voice at Mother.

“You are tired and dusty from your long journey, my lord.” With a gracious smile, she takes his hand. “A bath and supper will restore you.”

He leaves without a backward glance at us. Mother casts one last look over her shoulder as she follows him through the curtain. Then they are gone.

All the breath goes out of me like I’ve been punched.

Amaya whoops. “Lord Ottonor’s balcony box tomorrow at the City Fives Court! Oh, I will die of joy! Wait until I tell Denya that she and I shall stand at the balcony rail and watch the Fives together!”

I sink onto the couch, hitting my fists repeatedly against my forehead. “What a disaster! I’ll plead illness and stay home. Then I can sneak out once you’re all gone.”

Amaya flings herself down beside me and grabs my arms. “You have to come, Jes! Bettany won’t go, and who would want her to, anyway? Father won’t let Maraya attend lest someone notice her accursed foot.” She gestures toward Maraya’s splint. “Father will never let me go alone with him and Mother. Highborn people never bring a daughter alone. They bring a daughter only if they also bring a son.”

“Which Father cannot do, as he has no sons,” remarks Maraya.

“Oh, I hope Mother does not talk him out of going!” cries Amaya, wringing her hands.

“No chance of that,” says Maraya. “She will wish him to receive all the accolades he deserves. You have to go, Jes. Think of all the slights Mother has endured over the years. Think of how Father has been loyal to her despite everyone telling him he should marry a Patron woman to advance his career. He wants to honor her by showing he is not ashamed of her and their children on the day of his extraordinary triumph.”

I think of what he said about devising a new infantry formation and how he wanted to share the story of his victory with me. I’m so proud of him and so angry that he came home today of all days. But I can never tell him why.




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