At length, there was a glimpse of dawn amid all this darkness. The

world was not altogether evil. All hearts were not shut against me;

and in the sweet smiles of Julia Clifford, in her kind attentions,

soothing assurances, and fond entreaties, there was opportunity,

at last, for my feelings to overflow. Like a mountain-stream

long pent up, which at length breaks through its confinements, my

affections rushed into the grateful channel which her pliant heart

afforded me. They were wild, and strong, and, devoted, in proportion

to their long denial and restraint. Was it not natural enough that

I should love with no ordinary attachment--that my love should be

an impetuous torrent--all-devoted--struggling, striving--rushing

only in the one direction--believing, in truth, that there was none

other in the world in which to run?

This was a natural consequence of the long sophistication of my

feelings. I knew nothing of the world--of society. I had shared

in none of its trusts; I had only felt its exactions. Like some

country-boy, or country-girl, for the first time brought into the

great world, I surrendered myself wholly to the first gratified

impulse. I made no conditions, no qualifications. I set all my

hopes of heart upon a single cast of the die, and did not ask what

might be the consequences if the throw was unfortunate.

One of the good effects of a free communication of the young with

society is, to lessen the exacting nature of the affections. People

who live too much to themselves--in their own centre, and for their

own single objects--become fastidious to disease. They ask too

much from their neighbors. Willing to surrender their OWN affections

at a glance, they fancy the world wanting in sensibility when

they find that their readiness in this respect fails to produce a

corresponding readiness in others. This is the natural history of

that enthusiasm which is thrown back upon itself and is chilled

by denial. The complaint of coldness and selfishness against the

world is very common among very young or very inexperienced men.

The world gets a bad character, simply because it refuses to lavish

its affections along the highways--simply because it is cautious

in giving its trusts, and expects proofs of service and actual

sympathy rather than professions. Men like myself, of a warm,

impetuous nature, complain of the heartlessness of mankind. They

fancy themselves peculiarly the victims of an unkind destiny in

this respect; and finally cut their throats in a moment of frenzy,

or degenerate into a cynicism that delights in contradictions, in

sarcasms, in self-torture, and the bitterest hostility to their

neighbors.

Society itself is the only and best corrective of this unhappy

disposition. The first gift to the young, therefore, should be

the gift of society. By this word society, however, I do not mean

a set, a clique, a pitiable little circle. Let the sphere of movement

be sufficiently extended--as large as possible--that the means of

observation and thought may be sufficiently comprehensive, and no

influences from one man or one family shall be suffered to give the

bias to the immature mind and inexperienced judgment. In society

like this, the errors, prejudices, weaknesses, of one man, are

corrected by a totally opposite form of character in another. The

mind of the youth hesitates. Hesitation brings circumspection,

watchfulness; watchfulness, discrimination; discrimination, choice;

and a capacity to choose implies the attainment of a certain

degree of deliberateness and judgment with which the youth may be

permitted to go upon his way, supposed to be provided for in the

difficult respect of being able henceforward to take care of himself.




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