The change in my fortunes first touched my sensibilities, which

it finally excited until they became diseased. Neglected if not

scorned, I habitually looked to encounter nothing but neglect or

scorn. The sure result of this condition of mind was a look and

feeling, on my part, of habitual defiance. I grew up with the mood

of one who goes forth with a moral certainty that he must meet and

provide against an enemy. But I am now premature.

The uncle and aunt with whom I found shelter were what is called

in ordinary parlance, very good people. They attended the most

popular church with most popular punctuality. They prayed with

unction--subscribed to all the charities which had publicity and

a fashionable list to recommend them--helped to send missionaries

to Calcutta, Bombay, Owyhee, and other outlandish regions--paid

their debts when they became due with commendable readiness--and

were, in all out-of-door respects, the very sort of people who

might congratulate themselves, and thank God that they were very

far superior to their neighbors. My uncle had morning prayers at

home, and my aunt thumbed Hannah More in the evening; though it

must be admitted that the former could not always forbear, coming

from church on the sabbath, to inquire into the last news of the

Liverpool cotton market, and my aunt never failed, when they reached

home, on the same blessed day, to make the house ring with another

sort of eloquence than that to which she had listened with such

sanctimonious devotion from the lips of the preacher. There were

some other little offsets against the perfectly evangelical character

of their religion. One of these--the first that attracted my infant

consideration--was naturally one which more directly concerned

myself. I soon discovered that, while I was sent to an ordinary

charity school of the country, in threadbare breeches, made of the

meanest material--their own son--a gentle and good, but puny boy,

whom their indulgence injured, and, perhaps, finally destroyed--was

despatched to a fashionable institution which taught all sorts of

ologies--dressed in such choice broadcloth and costly habiliments,

as to make him an object of envy and even odium among all his less

fortunate school-fellows.

Poor little Edgar! His own good heart and correct natural understanding

showed him the equal folly of that treatment to which he was

subjected, and the injustice and unkindness which distinguished

mine. He strove to make amends, so far as I was concerned, for the

error of his parents. He was my playmate whenever he was permitted,

but even this permission was qualified by some remark, some direction

or counsel, from one or other of his parents, which was intended

to let him know, and make me feel, that there was a monstrous

difference between us.

The servants discovered this difference as quickly as did the

objects of it; and though we were precisely of one age, and I was

rather the largest of the two, yet, in addressing us, they paid

him the deference which should only be shown to superior age, and

treated me with the contumely only due to inferior merit. It was

"Master Edgar," when he was spoken to--and "you," when I was the

object of attention.




readonlinefreebook.com Copyright 2016 - 2024