"But, though I think I maintained the most rigid reserve, as well

of looks as of language, this unhappy young man continued his

persecutions. In order to avoid him, I abandoned my usual labors

in the studio. From the moment when I saw that he was disposed

to abuse the privileges of friendship, I yielded that apartment

entirely to him, and invariably declined seeing him when he visited

the house in the mornings. But I could not do this at evening; and

this became finally a most severe trial, for it so happened, that

you now adopted a habit which left him entirely unrestrained, unless

in the manner of his reception by myself. You now seldom remained

at home of an evening, and thus deprived me of that natural protector

whose presence would have spared me much pain with which I will not

distress you. Ah! dearest husband, why did you leave me on such

occasions? Why did you abandon me to the two-fold affliction of

combating the approaches of impertinence, at the very moment when

I was suffering from the dreadful apprehension that I no longer

possessed those charms which had won me the affections of a husband.

Forgive me! My purpose is not to reproach, but to entreat you.

"I need not pass over the long period through which this persecution

continued. Your indifference seemed to me to give stimulus to the

perseverance of this young man. Numberless little circumstances

combined to make me think that, from this cause, indeed, he drew

something like encouragement for his audacious hopes. The strength

of your friendship for him blinded you to attentions which, it

seemed to me, every eye must have seen but yours. I grew more and

more alarmed; and a second time consulted with my mother. Her written

answer you will find, marked No. 1, with the rest of the enclosures

in this envelope. She laughed at my apprehensions, insisted that

Mr. Edgerton had not transcended the customary privileges, and

intimated, very plainly as you will see, that a wife can suffer

nothing from the admiration of a person, not her husband, however

undisguised this admiration may be--provided she herself shows

none in return;--an opinion with which I could not concur, for

the conclusive reason that, whatever the world may think on such a

subject, the object of admiration, if she has any true sensibilities,

must herself. suffer annoyance, as I did, from the special designation

which attends such peculiar and marked attention as that to which

I was subjected. My mother took much pains, verbally and in writing,

as the within letters will show you, to relieve me from the feeling

of disquiet under which I suffered, but without effect; and I was

further painfully afflicted by the impression which her general

tone of thought forced upon me, that her sense of propriety was

so loose and uncertain that I could place no future reliance upon

her councils in relation to this or any other kindred subject. Ah,

Edward! little can you guess how lonely and desolate I felt, when,

unable any longer to refer to her, I still did not dare to look to

you.




readonlinefreebook.com Copyright 2016 - 2024