"My fondness for your wife was increased by pity. You neglected her.

I was at first indignant and hated you accordingly. But I became

glad of your neglect for two reasons. It gave me the opportunities

for seeing her which I desired, and I felt persuaded with a vain

folly, that nothing could be more natural than that she would make

a comparison, favorable of course to myself, between my constant

solicitude and attention and your ungenerous abandonment. But

I was mistaken. The steady virtue of the wife revenged the wrong

which, without deliberately intending it, I practised against the

husband. When my attentions became apparent, she received me with

marked coolness and reserve; and finally ceased to frequent the

atelier, which, while art alone was my object, yielded, I think,

an equal and legitimate pleasure to us both.

"I saw and felt the change, but had not the courage to discontinue

my persecutions. My passion, and the tenacity with which it enforced

its claims, seemed to increase with every difficulty and denial.

The strangeness of your habits facilitated mine. Almost nightly

I visited your house, and though I could not but see that the

reserve of your wife now rose into something like hauteur, yet my

infatuation was so great that I began to fancy this appearance to

be merely such a disguise as Prudence assumes in order to conceal

its weaknesses, and discourage the invader whom it can no longer

baffle. With this impression, I hurried on to the commission of an

offence, the results of which, though they did not quell my desires,

had the effect of terrifying them, for some, time at least, into

partial submission." Would to God, for all our sakes, that their

submission had been final!

"You remember the ball at Mrs. Delaney's marriage? I waltzed once

with your wife that evening. She refused to waltz a second time.

The privileges of this intoxicating dance are such as could be

afforded by no other practice in social communion--the lady still

preserving the reputation of virtue. I need not say with what

delight I employed these privileges. The pressure of her arm and

waist maddened me; and when the hour grew late, and you did not appear,

Mrs. Delaney counselled me to tender my carriage for the purpose

of conveying her home. I did so;--it was refused: but, through the

urgent suggestions of ner mother, it was finally accepted. I assisted

her to the carriage, immediately followed, and took my place beside

her. She was evidently annoyed, and drew herself up with a degree

of lofty reserve, which, under other circumstances, and had I been

less excited than I was, by the events of the evening, would have

discouraged my presumption. It did not. I proceeded to renew those

liberties which I had taken during the dance. I passed my arm about

her waist. She repulsed me with indignation, and insisted upon

my setting her down where we were, in the unfrequented street, at

midnight. This I refused. She threatened me with your anger; and

when, still deceiving myself on the subject of her real feelings,

I proceeded to other liberties, she dashed her hand through the

windows of the coach, and cried aloud for succor. This alarmed me.

I promised her forbearance, and finally set her down, very much

agitated, at the entrance of your dwelling. She refused my assistance

to the house, but fell to the ground before reaching it. That night

her miscarriage ensued, and my passions for a season were awed into

inactivity, if not silence.




readonlinefreebook.com Copyright 2016 - 2024