The demon which had vexed and tortured me was a demon of my own
soliciting--of my own creation. But, I knew not this. I congratulated
myself on escaping from him. Blind fancy!--I little knew the insidious
pertinacity of this demon--this demon of the blind heart. I little
knew the nature of his existence, and how much he drew his nutriment
from the recesses of my own nature. He could spare, or seem to
spare, the victim of whom he was so sure; and by a sort of levity,
in no ways unaccountable, since we see it in the play of cat with
mouse, could indulge with temporary liberty, the poor captive of
whom he was at any moment certain. I congratulated myself on my
escape; but I was not so well pleased with the congratulations of
others. I was doomed to endure those of my exemplary mother-in-law,
Mrs. Delaney. That woman had her devil--a worse devil, though not
more troublesome, I think, than mine. She said to me, when she
heard of my purpose of removal: "You are right to remove. It is
only prudent. Pity you had not gone some months ago."
I read her meaning, where her language was ambiguous, in her sharp,
leering eyes--full of significance--an expression of mysterious
intelligence, which, mingled with a slight, sinister smile
upon her lips, for a moment, brought a renewal of all my tortures
and suspicions. She saw the annoyance which I felt, and strove to
increase it. I know not--I will not repeat--the occasional innuendos
which she allowed herself to utter in the brief space of a twenty
minutes' interview. It is enough to say that nothing could be more
evident than her desire to vex me with the worst pangs which a man
can know, even though her success in the attempt was to be attained
at the expense of her daughter's peace of mind and reputation. I
do not believe that she ever hinted to another, what she clearly
enough insinuated as a cause of fear to me. Her purpose was to
goad me to madness, and in her witless malice, I do believe she
was utterly unconscious of the evil that might accrue to the child
of her own womb from her base and cruel suggestions. I wished to
get from her these suggestions in a more distinct form. I wished
at the same time, to deprive her of the pleasure of seeing that I
understood her. I restrained myself accordingly, though the vulture
was then again at my vitals.
"What do you mean. Mrs. Delaney? Why is it a pity that I hadn't
gone months ago?"
"Oh! that's enough for me to know. I have my reasons."
"But, will you not suffer me to know them? I am conscious of no
evil that has arisen from my not going sooner."