The shapeless character of my fears and suspicions did not by any

means lessen their force and volume. On the contrary it caused

them to loom out through the hazy atmosphere of the imagination,

assuming aspects more huge and terrible, in consequence of their

very indistinctness; as the phantom shapes along the mountains of

the Brocken, gathering and scowling in the morning or the evening

twilight. To obtain more precise knowledge--to be able to subject

to grasp and measure the uncertain phantoms which I feared--was,

if not to reduce their proportions, at least to rid me of that

excruciating suspense, in determining what to do, which was the

natural result of my present ignorance.

With some painstaking, I was enabled to find and force an interview

with Edgerton that very day. He made an effort to elude me--such

an effort as he could make without allowing his object to be seen.

But I was not to be baffled. Having once determined upon my course,

I was a puritan in the inveteracy with which I persevered in it.

But it required no small struggle to approach the criminal, and

so utterly to subdue my own sense of wrong, my suspicions and my

hostility, as to keep in sight no more than the wishes and fears of

the father. I have already boasted of my strength in some respects,

even while exposing my weaknesses in others. That I could persuade

Edgerton and my wife, equally, of my indifference, even at the

moment when I was most agonized by my doubts of their purity, is

a sufficient proof that I possessed a certain sort of strength. It

was a moral strength, too, which could conceal the pangs inflicted

by the vulture, even when it was preying upon the vitals of the

best affections and the dearest hopes of the heart. It was necessary

that I should put all this strength in requisition, as well to do

what was required by the father, as to pierce, with keen eye, and

considerate question, to the secret soul of the witness. I must

assume the blandest manner of our youthful friendship; I must say

kind things, and say them with a certain frank unconsciousness. I

must use the language of a good fellow--a sworn companion--who is

anxious to do justice to my friend's father, and yet had no notion

that my friend himself was doing the smallest thing to justify the

unmeasured fears of the fond old man. Such was my cue at first. I

am not so sure that I pursued it to the end; but of this hereafter.

My attention having been specially drawn to the personal appearance

of William Edgerton, I was surprised, if not absolutely shocked,

to see that the father had scarcely exaggerated the misery of his

condition. He was the mere shadow of his former self. His limbs,

only a year before, had been rounded even to plumpness. They were

now sharp and angular. His skin was pale, his looks haggard; and

that apprehensive shrinking of the eye, which had called forth

the most keen expressions of fear and suspicion from the father's

lips, was the prominent characteristic which commanded my attention

during our brief interview. His eye, after the first encounter,

no longer rose to mine. Keenly did I watch his face, though for an

instant only. A sudden hectic flush mantled its paleness. I could

perceive a nervous muscular movement about his mouth, and he slightly

started when I spoke.




readonlinefreebook.com Copyright 2016 - 2024