He burned for her. His skin was itchy and alive, and he knew he wouldn’t find relief until he was buried deep inside her. He wanted to hold her and soothe away the shadows and watch while she came apart beneath him.
“Do you want that, Lily?” he prodded. “Do you want to make love with me as much as I want to make love with you?”
She swallowed and then licked her lips in a nervous gesture he found endearing.
“What about Seth and Michael?” she asked in a low voice. Her lips turned down into a worried frown. “How is this supposed to work? I feel like I’m cheating on them.”
She tugged her hands free and rubbed over her face in a frustrated gesture. “I don’t know how this works. What I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to screw up before it even begins.”
Dillon’s chest tightened and then went soft. He reached out to take her hand again, pulling it away from her face. Then he kissed each of her fingertips to soothe some of the tension flowing from her.
“There’s no right or wrong way, Lily. If I’m moving too fast for you, just say the word. I just know that when I saw you, I had to touch you. I know my brothers felt and feel the same. If you’ve talked to Seth, and if he explained what they’re proposing, then you know they’ll be okay with this. They have to be. It’s the only way it works. I won’t ask their permission every time I want to make love to you.”
“You said they,” she said quickly. Her eyes narrowed as she stared at him. “You said what they’re proposing. You didn’t say we.”
He sighed. “Yeah, I can see how that might look to you. Like I’m only going along for the ride and aren’t fully on board. Maybe I’m not at this point. It’s hard to tell. Things have happened so fast. What I do know is that I have an undeniable attraction to you. I never used to believe in hokey love-at-first-sight stuff. My dads always said it was that way with Mom, but I didn’t really believe it.”
“And now?”
He blew out his breath. “Now I know that you can meet someone and want them with every breath in your body, mentally and physically. Is that love? I don’t know. Maybe. Maybe it’s the foundation being laid. Relationships have begun with a hell of a lot less, that’s for sure.”
“You have to wear a condom,” she blurted.
He blinked at the whiplash her statement caused.
Her cheeks colored, but her lips were set into a determined line.
“I’m not on birth control,” she rushed on to say. “I mean it’s not something I’ve been able to afford nor have I had the need, but I don’t want to get pregnant. I won’t take the risk.”
Now there was fear in her eyes. Dillon eased back but kept firm hold on her hand. He squeezed and massaged, trying to ease the tension.
“Baby, I’d never not protect you,” he said gently. “Of course I’ll wear a condom. And I’m sure you know condoms aren’t foolproof, so I’ll make an appointment for you at the clinic in town so you can get on birth control if that’s what you want.”
She looked down, avoiding his gaze. “I don’t have insurance—or a way to pay.”
The shame in her voice nearly killed him. God, he hurt for her. But he needed to make it clear from the start that they were damn well going to take care of her, and the last thing she needed to worry about was having the money for birth control.
“Lily, we need to get a few things straight, okay? I’m assuming you and Seth had a long talk in which he laid out the fact that he and Michael and me all want one thing. You. And I’m sure he laid out just what that would mean if we all agree to see where this takes us. I’m also assuming you agreed, or you wouldn’t be here with me right now. Part of the arrangement, if you will, is that we take care of you. We wouldn’t have it any other way. That means providing for your needs both emotionally and financially.”
She raised her gaze to meet his. “It’s easy to see what I get out of this. But what about you? And Seth and Michael? What could you possibly get out of this relationship that you can’t get somewhere else?”
He raised an eyebrow. “You think all we want is sex?”
She flushed and looked down again. He slid his hand underneath her chin and prompted her to look back at him.
“No, I don’t think that,” she said when he continued to stare at her. “If that’s what you wanted, you could certainly find better elsewhere.”
“I don’t agree, but that’s not the point. I’m not attracted to every other woman out there. I’m attracted to you. If sex was all I wanted, I’d have you naked and underneath me right now instead of having one of those sensitive conversations that make men’s testicles shrink.”
A smile hovered on her lips and her eyes gleamed, losing the dull shadow of shame.
“I did agree, I mean when Seth talked to me before about…us…all of us, I said okay.”
“Then you have to give us that chance,” Dillon said as he stroked her cheek with his hand. “And you have to give us your trust that we’ll take care of you and provide for you.”
She turned her face into his palm and brushed her lips over his skin. “I’ll try.”
He felt his insides give this peculiar squeeze, and he knew in that moment that he was in it for the long haul. No, he damn sure hadn’t ever considered that he’d share his woman with his two brothers no matter how they’d grown up. But his parents had made it work, and he was just as committed to making this relationship work with Lily and his brothers.
“I’m in this, Lily. Maybe I wasn’t sure before, but now I am. I’m not going anywhere. We can make this work.”
Her eyes brightened, and her smile lit up her entire face. She was so astonishingly lovely that he ached. His hand shook against her face, and it hit him how badly he wanted to make love to her. Not sex. He wanted to savor and cherish her and make her feel undeniably loved.
“Every time I think this can’t possibly work and that I’m stupid for trying it, one of you says something to make me believe. I want this too, Dillon. So much that it scares me because I’m afraid it’s all a fantasy that I’m going to wake up from.”
He touched his thumb to her lip and rubbed back and forth over the soft, full bottom. “Believe it, Lily. This isn’t something we’d take lightly. Ever.”
“I also want you to believe me,” she said. Her gaze caught his again and sincerity burned bright in her blue eyes. “I don’t want any of you to think that I’m latching onto the first way out of my life and that it could be anyone. That’s not it, I swear.”