Strike One
Soft. Smooth. Small. Perfect.
My fingers traced lines over Sawyer's hand and I felt another smile creep over my face. The smile felt huge to me and I felt peace wash over my body as that smile spread even farther. Over the noise of the surprisingly loud gym, I heard Sawyer's musical voice asking me if I was feeling better. Hmmm...I was, so much better. I nodded at her and noticed how disconnected that movement felt from the rest of my body. It was almost like my head wasn't mine. I chuckled at the thought and did it again.
I laughed again and turned my head side to side, enjoying how light and sluggish it felt to do that. It was like my brain was two seconds behind my head. I giggled and looked over to Sawyer's direction. Slowly opening my eyes, that oddly felt heavy compared with the rest of my head, I saw Sawyer knitting her eyebrows together. The look wasn't at all like the peace I felt, and wanting her to relax, I brought my hands up and tried to smooth out the worry lines. I cupped her cheeks with my hands and stretched my thumbs over her brows and forehead. Her brows knitted further as I tried to flatten them and I laughed again. Her skin was like silk under my fingertips and I gave up on trying to relax her expression and felt that silkiness with all of my suddenly sensitive digits.
"Wow, you're perfect," I whispered, my voice feeling slow and slightly slurred. I leaned in closer to her, her breath light on my face as she watched me with wide eyes. "Your skin is so soft, like flower petals." My fingers traced her liquid cheeks, forehead, down the line of her nose, across the fullness of her lips. She inhaled a quick breath at that and I tracked the movement of those lips, mesmerized. I leaned in even closer to her and her scent hit me; a sweet, light perfume that made my mouth water. "You even smell like flowers." I leaned in even closer until our noses touched, my hands still caressing her features. The heat of our flesh together burned all the way through my body, scorched me in sensitive places. "I wonder how you'd taste..."
I leaned in even closer, inching my lips to her full ones. Anticipation filled the space between us and her light breath on my skin stopped. Heat rushed through my body and every part of me felt light and airy, carefree...fearless. I giggled at the feeling and then our lips finally brushed together. She sighed into my skin as we met.
Oh, wow.
Her skin was nothing in comparison to that soft flesh. I wanted more. I wanted that softness everywhere on me. I wanted it now. I moved my hand around to her neck and forcefully pulled her into me, shifting our heads so I could part our lips and sneak my tongue inside her. I was harsh in my eagerness and she pulled away from me. Or tried to, I had a firm grasp on her neck and pulled her back in. I pushed my tongue back in her mouth, tasting her again. She was heaven. She was sweet and soft and enticing and arousing and I wanted so much more.
"Stop it, Luc!"
My world suddenly shifted backward and confused, I blinked and looked around. Sawyer's mouth was no longer on mine. In fact, she was about two feet away from me, scrunched farther back along the wall, breathing heavily, and looking at me like I was a stranger. "What's wrong with you," she asked between pants.
I stood up and scrambled away from her. There was nothing wrong with me. My body disagreed. The sudden movement of standing made my head go dizzy and then black. I fell to my knees and landed harshly on the wood of the gym. My breath came out in a rush as my hands fell to my knees. I took a deep, steadying breath and felt small hands clutching my shoulders. Sound rushed to my ears - sounds of the noisy gym, sounds of the band, sounds of the cheerleaders' chants, sounds of Sawyer, asking me something over and over again. My head couldn't separate the pieces. I started to panic.
When my vision started to clear, I stood up more slowly. But my vision swam and twisted almost violently. I couldn't focus on one object for long. I saw Sawyer, looking concerned, and then she shifted to bleachers and blues and whites and a sea of multi-colored shirts. It was making me nauseous. I backed away, away from the bleachers. Sawyer tried to grab my shirt, to stop me, but I pushed her hands away and hurriedly backed up...onto the court.
The light of the full gym hit me and my eyes felt like watering. I looked over a sea of faces, not recognizing any of them and clutched my head, trying to stop the spinning. I couldn't. I started breathing heavier and backed further away, until a giant hoop hovered over my head. I thought I heard my name and laughter, but language was mumbling before reaching my ears and I couldn't make sense of anything.
A long, black ponytail filled my vision, but I was suddenly twisted and facing a short, pixie cut of brown hair. "Lucas?" Arms pulled me back towards the bleachers and I stumbled along, my feet suddenly too big for my body. The short hair in front of me turned to the black hair beside me. "What's wrong with him, Sawyer?" Concern filled both faces and as my head stabilized in one position, I made out Ms. Reynolds in front of me, her slim arms over mine, her svelte body close to me, and my hand hanging tantalizingly close to her hip. A surprising fire shot through me at her nearness.
"I don't know. He said he had a headache earlier...?"
I stepped even closer to Ms. Reynolds and brought my arms around her waist. She was slim and curvy and warm. She made me warm. "Hey, Ms. Reynolds. God, you're hot, totally fuckable." I leaned into her, so our heads were touching. My words were still slurred and slow, but she apparently heard me just fine...along with everyone in the bleachers near us. A simultaneous gasp echoed around me and Ms. Reynolds pulled back and went about three shades of red.
Just as my sluggish head was wondering what I'd said that was so wrong, Ms. Reynolds brought her hand up like she was going to slap me. I blinked and tried to focus on her hand and then the hand relaxed and dropped back down to her side. Not saying a word, she extracted herself from where I still had my arms around her and grabbed my wrist, dragging me out of the gym. We passed all of the bleachers again on our way out, but I barely noticed. I could only stare entranced at the lines of the laminate on the ground, while I stumbled and tripped my way after her.
And then suddenly, I was falling. I had no reflexes to speak of, and no way to catch myself, and I landed heavily on the side of my face. Oddly, I didn't feel the impact. I only felt the coolness of the ground beneath me. It actually felt a little nice against my slightly heated skin, so I giggled and stayed where I was along the ground. Other giggling sounds filled my ears and I laughed harder, thinking we all sounded nice together.
Then, roughly, a pair of arms was under me and I was being lifted into the air. The sudden movement made my head swim and my stomach lurk. I tried to vomit, but nothing came out and I groaned. As I was righted the upset feeling passed and I breathed out a quick sigh of relief. Then I was shoved forward. Someone behind me said something along the lines of "be gentle" and then firm hands were on my shoulders and I was being guided out of the room.
As the door closed behind me, a mass chorus of laughter broke out. I thought it sounded beautiful, and turned to head back to the sound. I was forcefully re-routed and made to walk down steps and another set of doors, to a chill that made me shiver.
"What's wrong with him?" A black head spoke these words beside me and a warm hand clamped over mine. I held it tight, savoring the heat as the sudden iciness around me made my teeth chatter.
"He's obviously drunk, Miss Smith...are you?" A deep voice behind me said that and I tried to place the voice.
"No, Mr. Varner...and he isn't either. I've been with him most of the day and he hasn't been drinking." I leaned my head into the voice speaking beside me; it was beautiful...like an angel's.
The deep, male voice behind me continued, "Most of the day - not all. He could have sneaked something into his last class." Hands lightly pushed my shoulders and I tripped up on my huge feet, almost stumbling to the harsh looking concrete, before those hands shifted to underneath my shoulders, keeping me upright.
The warm hand in mine was joined by its mate and I turned my head to stare at a beautiful set of gray eyes...angel eyes, I was sure. I smiled warmly at her and she frowned slightly. Had I upset my angel? The gray eyes flicked from my face to the voice's, behind me. "We'd be able to smell it if he had, and he didn't. I'm telling you, he was fine before the pep rally." Her bottom lip stuck out in a perfect pout and I stopped walking. I wanted to feel that lip again. So soft.
I leaned in to make contact with her and was harshly shoved forward, my feet stumbling, and only the strong arms under me, saving me from the cold ground, yet again. A long, exasperated sigh sounded from my helper behind me. "Well, he snuck something on the way there. He's obviously not fine now."
The warm hand returned to mine from where it had been jostled free. I clenched it, never wanting that warmth to leave me. The black hair shook side to side while my angel spoke, "No, he didn't. He only had Aspirin...just...just Aspirin."
Another long sigh behind me and a surprisingly feminine sigh on the other side of me. "Right...strong Aspirin then." A hand was taken from supporting me and pointed out between my angel and me, to a distance that seemed so far from me, it could have been a different continent. "Go home, Miss Smith, Ms. Reynolds and I will take care of this." I tried to copy the pointing movement, and automatically fell back into the strong chest behind me. I was shoved forward and the hand returned to my shoulder. The sigh returned as well.
"No, I want to stay with him." My angel's voice was sweet in my ear as she leaned close to me. I turned my head and tried to rest mine on her shoulder, but tripped over a rock instead, and nearly plummeted to the ground again.
The voice behind me got stern as hands righted me again. "I wasn't asking...go home!"
"Yes, sir."
Very reluctantly, the warm hand pulled away from me. I panicked. No, my angel couldn't leave me. She made everything okay. My life was okay because of her. If she left me, the darkness would settle in...I knew it. Somehow, it was the only thing my frazzled brain knew for sure - she couldn't leave me.
I pulled away from the strong hands behind me and flung my arms around my angel's waist. "No, no, no, no...please don't send her away. Please don't send my angel away." Hands tried to pull me off and I fought against them with every uncoordinated muscle I had. Tender hands swept my face and a soothing voice cooed that everything would be okay, but everything wouldn't be okay, not if she left. I started to cry. "Please, God...no. Don't take her too. I need her. Please don't take her away from me too. You take everyone away."
My arms cinched tight around her and I started to sob mercilessly into her shoulder. The strong hands stopped trying to separate me from my comfort and soft hands ran up and down my back soothingly. Another set of hands lightly brushed my shoulders. "It's okay, Lucas. She can stay with you...at least until your mom gets here. It's okay."
My sobs eased as two sets of small hands eased the ache of sudden loneliness in my body. My head relaxed into an even fog of semi-peace and I pulled my head from my angel's damp shoulder to see her face. Her cheeks were as wet as mine felt. I frowned and cupped them in my hands. "No...don't cry. Angels don't cry." We stared at each other for a moment, her gray eyes flicking over my face, looking concerned and scared. I felt a happiness surge deep within me and longed to share it with her. Still cupping her face, I leaned in close. "I love you. You mean everything to me...everything." Joy overwhelmed me and I leaned in to feel that softness of her lips again.
Rough hands pulled me back and got me walking toward a boring looking building. "Jonathan, be careful with him." The other feminine voice sounded displeased at the male one behind me.
"It's getting cold, just standing around out here. I'm not just gonna stay in this while these two make out. I'd like to get home sometime tonight." Hands shoved me forward and I reached out for my solace. She reached back, easily catching up to my shuffling form and clutching my hand tight. All was right with the world, with my angel again by my side.
Time ebbed and flowed around me, none of it making sense and none of it mattering. I had a soft hand in mine and that was all I focused on. Some part of me was conscious of moving to the nurses' station on the first floor, where something cold and wet was placed in my free hand and a firm voice ordered me to drink it. I laughed at that until a sweeter voice asked me to drink it, and I complied. As the bland beverage hit me, my throat squeezed in sudden thirst and I finished all that was given to me in a matter of seconds. My body was forcefully shoved down onto a hard, flat square and another cold cup was given to me. I drank that one down as well.
A male and female voice shifted away from me and I thought I heard the words "call his mom". I ignored it as the warm hand in mine squeezed me tight and a head lightly rested on my shoulder. I relaxed back onto whatever I'd been placed on, and rested my head on top of the one on my shoulder. I laughed and it felt nice, so I did it again. The head beneath me sighed and shifted to look at me.
"Lucas...what's wrong with you?"
I shrugged, giggled and rested my forehead against hers. "Nothing...I feel great." My words still felt thick in my mouth and I laughed again and rocked my head against hers.
"What did you take?"
I laughed and tried to think back to some point when I didn't feel like this - light and airy and free. I shrugged again. "I don't know."
A sigh escaped my angel and she looked down. I brought my hand up to her cheek and made her eyes lift to mine, pulling back a little so I could look into them. "Don't be sad...I feel great." I smiled widely and stroked the soft, silky skin under my thumb.
Her eyes flicked over mine. "Sure, now. Call me tomorrow." She sighed again while I obliviously laughed. Then she bit her lip and my eyes laser beam focused on that soft skin. The lips parted and words escaped them. "I know...I know you're wasted right now...but, did you mean it?"
I nodded. "Yes...mean what?"
She sighed, the air brushing over my face smelling wonderfully of the gum she was still chewing. "When you said you loved me?"
I cocked my head and drew my eyes up to meet hers. "Of course I love you." I shrugged again, loving how wonderful those words sounded out loud. "I love you more than anything. You're my best friend."
She closed her eyes when I said that. "Right...best friend."
I smiled as my eyes focused back down to her soft, soft lips. "I love you, Sawyer." My head inched down to feel those lips again. I brushed against them and sighed, happy. They moved slightly, parting just a little, bringing new surfaces to feel, a new softness to explore and I sighed again, very happy. My hand ran along a slim neck and around behind her to string through her silky ponytail. So nice. I leaned into her more, wanting to feel more of her body, more of her skin, more of her lips. More...just...more. Our lips opened wider and I flicked a quick feel for her tongue, finding it warm and receptive. So very nice. I groaned and felt for her again.
The head turned sideways, breaking our contact. "No, Lucas...stop."
I moved my lips to her soft neck, hungering for her skin. "Why? It feels nice...so incredibly nice."
A soft moan escaped her, doing unexpected things to my body, but she pushed me back and held my head away from her. "Nice isn't enough." I cocked my head in her hands, confused, and she sighed. "Friends don't do this. We can't do this." Her eyes turned sad as she looked over my face. I hated it when she looked sad. "Especially when you're like this..."
I pulled back and looked over her expression, something starting to register with me. "I'm making you sad?" She bit her lip and nodded, and I suddenly wanted to cry again. I could even feel my eyes watering. "I only wanted you to feel nice, like me." I grabbed her face, suddenly scared. "I don't want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you. You mean everything to me."
She removed my hands from her face and nodded. "I know, Luc...and you mean everything to me." She ran a hand down my face. "More than you realize." I smiled, but didn't understand. She shook her head. "Let's just sit here and wait for your mom."
She curled up on my shoulder, a hand on my chest, and we waited...and waited...and waited. Somewhere in all the waiting and water drinking (from the never ending cup that Ms. Reynolds never let go dry for long), my head started clearing and I started remembering. I still felt light and airy, but I could think more with my head and less with...my body.
I closed my eyes and let my head hit the wall behind me. The tender spot from my skull whacking was also returning, and I sucked in a quick breath. Sawyer looked up at me from my shoulder. "Oh god, Sawyer...my mom's gonna kill me." My speech was still slow, like it took a second for my brain to think it and my mouth to create it.
I peered down at her and she grinned up at me. "Yeah, I think she is." She sat up from her slumped position against me and shrugged her shoulders. "If it's any consolation, my parents are gonna kill me too." I cocked my head, confused, and she explained. "I'm really late getting home."
I sighed and looked down. Suddenly, I remembered all the things I'd done and said...to her. I looked back up at her, a little scared. "Hey...I'm...I'm really sorry about..."
She blushed and didn't let me finish. "Don't...don't worry about it. You're just...messed up. Happens to the best of us." I blushed and looked away, but looked back when I felt her eyes burning into me. "Do you know what...what you took?"
My still sluggish brain tried to remember what happened to it. All I could remember was having a headache and then not having a headache. I scrunched my brows, trying to think harder. "No, I just remember you handing me..." I looked over at her, a horrid knot forming in my stomach. "What did you give me, Sawyer?"
Her face looked puzzled as she looked back at me. "Aspirin. I told you that. I always carry some for headaches and stuff."
The knot in my stomach grew and my hazy mind tried to think rationally, and not emotionally. "No...that wasn't just Aspirin. Aspirin doesn't do that to me. What was it?"
Now her brows scrunched in what looked like anger. "It was just Aspirin." She put her hand on my arm while I brought my hand to the bridge of my nose. My head was still so foggy...things just weren't making sense. "Look, Luc, I know you're still messed up, so I'll try to not get angry here...but I don't do drugs any more than you do, and I definitely didn't 'slip' you anything. Why would I?"
I dropped my hand from my face and sighing, looked back at her. "I don't know." I shrugged. "What's going on with me, Sawyer? I feel like I'm about to start flying." I frowned. "Or falling...really, it could go either way."
She patted my arm and shook her head. "I don't know, Luc. I wish I did." I wanted to ask her more. I wanted to talk to her more. I wanted to apologize for shoving my tongue down her throat, but at that moment...my mom showed up.
Looking frazzled and panicked and wearing her hardware uniform, she flew into the nurses' station and immediately brought her eyes to mine. I found I couldn't meet her identical-to-mine hazel depths and stared at the floor. I felt Sawyer clench my hand and my whole body tensed, waiting for the parental blowup that I could feel coming.
I felt a body move in front of me and a pair of petite, black shoes filled my vision. I held my breath. Then my mother squatted in front of me, placing her small hands on my knees and moving her head so she was looking up at me. I tentatively met her gaze, praying that my still floating brain didn't say anything stupid.
Her concerned eyes flicked between mine. "Lucas...are you okay?" I waited to hear the anger in her voice, but all I heard was concern. I exhaled and relaxed. Stupidly I nodded, my vision twisting for a bit as I did.
My mother's entire face relaxed and with a heavy sigh she flung her arms around me and clenched me tight. "God, you scared me. When they called, I thought...I thought... You scared me, Luc."
From somewhere in my body, guilt welled up, filling all of me, until it physically manifested as tears in my eyes that ran down my cheeks. I'd hurt this small, warm woman...deeply. "I'm sorry, Mom," I said brokenly, my voice struggling with the words. I felt like sobbing...and then I did.
She rocked me and shushed me as her hands rubbed my back. I felt Sawyer squeeze my hand and then release it and I slung my arms around my mom, pulling her in tight as I sobbed on her shoulder. I couldn't understand why I was losing it...and I couldn't stop it either. "It's okay, Lucas...breathe...it's okay."
She kept repeating that, until eventually I stopped with the blubbering. My mom pulled back from me and wiped my face with her thumbs. I sniffled and looked over her sad features. I'd done that. I'd made her sad. I only ever made her sad. She looked to Sawyer sitting beside me and smiled slightly at her.
"Mrs. West?"
My mom turned to look at Ms. Reynolds standing behind her. "Can I take him home?" she asked quietly.
Ms. Reynolds nodded at her, flicking a quick glance at me before motioning with her thumb to an adjoining office. "Yes, I just need to speak with you privately for a moment." Her expression grew tired and perhaps a bit sad and she continued slowly. "I'm sorry, but we have strict policies on substance abuse. There's going to be repercussions from this."
My mom swallowed and looked down. She sighed heavily and nodded before standing and following Ms. Reynolds into a small room, where Ms. Reynolds closed the door behind them. I watched them through the glass and wondered what my fate would be. Tiredness seeped into me and I had the strongest urge to lie down on Sawyer's lap and take a nap. Her warm hand returned to mine and I looked over at her, blinking my eyes slowly.
She looked over my face and wiped a stray tear away with her other hand. "Are you okay, Lucas?"
I smiled with one corner of my mouth. "You ask me that a lot."
She smiled in a way that matched mine and laid her head on my shoulder. I laid my head on hers again and closed my eyes, my light and airy feeling changing to heaviness. "That's because I never believe your answer."
"Oh," I muttered sleepily.
I felt her head shift beneath me and lifted mine up, resting it gently against the wall behind me, my eyes still closed. "What do you think they'll do to you?" she asked, and I pried my eyes open to look at my mom talking to Ms. Reynolds, who was lightly shaking her head, looking apologetic.
"Kick me out?" I said quietly.
"No, they wouldn't...would they?"
I slowly swung my head around at hearing the genuine concern in her voice. I shrugged my shoulders. "I'm on campus...fucked up." I shrugged again. "They're gonna toss me." I looked back to the windows where Ms. Reynolds was saying something to my mom, who was now holding a hand over her eyes. "They hate me anyway," I muttered.
Sawyer squeezed my hand, but I didn't look back at her. Guilt filled me again as I watched my mom hopelessly try and fight for me. "They don't, Lucas," Sawyer quietly said beside me.
I finally did look back at her. "What?" My tongue felt solid in my mouth and my eyes wanted to close again.
She sighed and shook her head, her dark hair swishing over my jacket. "They don't hate you...not all of them anyway. Some are just confused. You don't remember the accident...and there are so many rumors about it." She shrugged. "They just don't know what to believe."
Anger shot through me, and I turned my head straight and didn't look at her. "I wasn't drinking...they could believe that."
She sighed and rested her head on my shoulder again. "I know, Luc...I know."
We stayed that way until my mom and Ms. Reynolds returned from the small room; both women looking sad and worn out. Ms. Reynolds clasped her hands in front of her and clearing her throat, spoke to me in her most professional voice. "Lucas, we don't know what you took, but it's obvious you took something. I've spoken with the principal and you are hereby suspended from school for two weeks. You won't be allowed on or near the campus until your suspension is over, but if Sawyer wishes, she may gather your schoolwork so you don't fall behind. We have no desire to have your good grades suffer, and even though you will now have this on your permanent record...I believe you're a good enough student to not have that affect you too much when you apply for colleges later this year." She smiled warmly, like everything was just fine. My mom sighed softly beside her.
My tired mind tried to process the long stream of words, but I sort of got stuck on the first part. I scrunched my brow, not really understanding. "You're...giving me a vacation?" I heard Sawyer beside me snicker for just a fraction of a second before she shifted it to a cough.
Ms. Reynolds drew her brows down to an almost imposing looking point. "No...it's a punishment, Lucas. Time for you to think about what you've done...whatever that may be." Her face relaxed and she looked at me pointedly. "It also brings you that much closer to our two strikes out rule. One more infraction like this, Luc...and you'll be gone."
I swallowed as that thought actually did sink in. "I didn't do this," I whispered.
Ms. Reynolds gave me a small smile, that clearly showed she completely didn't believe me. "Don't let it happen again, Luc." She looked down for a moment and with a small sigh looked back up. "We also..." She sighed heavily and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Luc, but the principal thinks you being in the Safe and Sound club is setting a bad example. I'm sorry...but you're out."
That actually shocked me more than the vacation I was being given. I stood up. Well, I tried to. It took a couple times before I completely did it. Sawyer stood up with me, supporting me with a hand on my chest. "What? No..." That was my free time with Sawyer, if they took that away from me, I'd be spending that time alone in my house...with thoughts I didn't need to be thinking anymore than I already did. I wanted Sawyer, I wanted her peace. "Please?"
Ms. Reynolds gave me a sympathetic look at the pleading in my voice. I glanced at my mother and she looked surprised. I hadn't told her about the club, and my obvious desire to stay in it was taking her back. I looked back to Ms. Reynolds with eyes that I hoped matched my voice. They couldn't take this from me too...
She bit her lip and then sighed again. "I'll talk to the principal again, Luc. Maybe..." She put a hand on her chin and then her face brightened. "I'll ask her about you seeing the counselor. Maybe if you complete a session with her, she'll consider letting you rejoin our group."
Her face brightened more as my mouth dropped. My addled brain stuck on the word "counselor". I didn't want a counselor...but I did want Sawyer. I looked back at her and she smiled at me encouragingly. "Yeah, okay." I found myself saying the words without even meaning to say them.
Ms. Reynolds made a pleased noise and even my mom seemed to sigh in relief. Ms. Reynolds walked over to me and put a hand on my arm. "I'm really glad this club has come to mean so much to you, Lucas." Her eyes took on an impassioned glow. "I know we can help you."
Internally, I sighed. Externally, I smiled slightly and nodded. I wanted to leave. I wanted to forget this day ever happened. I wanted to finally nap. With a swift goodbye hug from Ms. Reynolds and a great deal of help with my sluggish body from Sawyer (Mr. Varner had apparently took off on me the minute after he'd called my mom), I was finally in my mother's car and waving to Sawyer through the glass while she bit her lip and watched me pull away. After a quick and thankfully silent ride home, I was helped into bed, also silently, and gratefully fell asleep...letting my nightmare of a day seep off of me.
I'd been asleep for mere seconds it seemed when a loud voice across my room woke me up. "So, what the hell was that, Luc? You were wasted at school...you?" I cracked my eyes open and saw Darren on the far side of my bedroom twirling one of my footballs in his hand. Instantly, I knew that I'd never woken up, and one of my dead friends had decided to make an appearance in my drug-induced sleep. I wasn't in the mood for it at the moment.
"Go away...my head still hurts." I threw the sheets up over my aching skull and tried to ignore his loud chuckles.
"Go away? I finally got my shot at some screen time." I pulled back my covers to glare at him. He smirked at my not amused face. "Lil's been hogging it all." His grin turned devilish as he approached the bed. "Of course, she can entertain you in ways I can't." Tossing the football in the air, he groaned indecently as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Nice job on that midnight rendezvous by the way...that was awesome."
I blushed and then rolled my eyes. "I know you're just a dream, but quit poking around in my other dreams."
He laughed as he tossed the football a few more times. "But those are the interesting ones." He caught the ball and abruptly threw it at my chest. Luckily, I managed to catch it in time. "Besides," he pointed at his own head, "I'm you...it's not like I can keep you out of your own head." I gave him a blank look as I tried to absorb that, and he laughed again. He lay back on the bed as I sat up, tossing the football to the ground and running a hand through my hair. "Anyway, happy endings are the best," he muttered as he looked over at me pointedly. "Right?"
I blushed again. "Are you done?"
He laughed and sat up. "Yeah...I guess." He frowned as a sudden thought struck him. "Hey...you better not ever invite Sammy to your little sexcapades. I'll kick your ass."
I shook my head at him and then laughed at the absurdity of all of it. He eventually laughed with me. "It's good to see you, man. I've missed you."
Darren got a sappy look on his face. "Ah, do we get to hug now?"
I laughed and tossed my pillow at him. He laughed as he effortlessly caught it. I shook my head again, which suddenly felt fine, and his face tightened into seriousness. "Seriously, what was that, man? At school? What happened?"
My face got serious too as I looked over his darkening eyes. "I don't know."
He sniffed and cocked his head. "You need to figure it out, Luc. You didn't do it, so someone dosed you...and if it happens again..." He shrugged and I sighed and ran a hand down my face.
"I know...I'm screwed."
He laughed and I peeked at him from under my fingers. "God, Lucas...what you said to Ms. Reynolds. Damn, that was hot!" He laughed harder. "I wish I'd had the guts to tell her that."
I sighed heavily and laid my head back on the wall. "Crap...I'd forgotten about that. Everyone heard me say it too." Darren laughed some more and I lifted my head to glare at him. "It's really not that funny."
He cocked his head at me again, still chuckling. "Really? If I was the one that told her she was 'totally fuckable' you wouldn't be laughing your ass off right now?"
I tried to glare, but broke out into laughter instead. He had a point. If anyone but me had said it, I'd be rolling on the floor. As my laughs subsided, I tossed the covers off of me, looking over my fully dressed self with an amused shake of my head, and placed my feet on the floor, sitting on the edge of the bed with Darren. His laughs died down too as he looked over at me, his elbows on his knees.
I stared at the shoes on my feet. "They're gonna make me see a counselor," I muttered sullenly.
"Good," Darren responded immediately beside me. I looked over at him and he shrugged. "You should talk to someone, Luc, after what you went through." I started to shake my head and object when he cut me off, "And no, talking to figments of your imagination doesn't count." He rolled his eyes and I looked back at my shoes.
"You guys are the only ones I want to talk to. You're the only ones that matter." My tone was soft, but firm.
He sighed and then chuckled and I looked over at him again. "What about that hot, fiery girl...Sawyer?" I grinned but then stopped and shook my head.
"No, I don't need to bring her into my drama...more than I already do." I exhaled loudly and slumped my head into my hands. "God, I totally kissed her. I'm not sure if she likes me like that but..."
"Did she kiss you back," Darren said simply.
I peered up at him, my hands still tangled in my hair. "Yeah....from what I can remember."
He smiled crookedly at me. "Well, then, yeah...she likes you."
I sighed and looked back at the floor. "Great...now I'm going to have to hurt her. I wish that hadn't happened." I sighed again.
"Why?" Darren stood and walked over to a mirror on the wall. On the inside edge, a picture of the four of us was tucked under the frame and he pulled it out to look at it. "She's pretty and interesting and you guys seem like you like each other. Why not go for it?" He looked back over to me, my eyes straying to the photo as his left it.
"Because I'm with Lil," I answered automatically.
"What?"
I looked from the photo to his face. His brown eyes were narrowed at me and his perpetually sticking up hair almost seemed to emphasize his questioning look. "I'm with-"
He interrupted me, "No, I heard you...I just don't get it." With the picture still in hand he walked over to stand beside me. "You're turning down a living girl who clearly adores you," he pointed to Lil in the photo, her thin arms encircling my neck, "for a dead girl, that you only get to be with...in your dreams?"
I swallowed the painful lump in my throat at the happy memory that photo was invoking in me. My mom had taken it on some random Saturday afternoon here at the house. There was nothing special about the day, it was just a Saturday, a Saturday we'd all spent together, a Saturday we'd thought we'd get hundreds more of. They'd died three weeks after that photo was taken.
"It feels real Darren. This feels real."
He tossed the photo at me, it flying into my chest before fluttering to the ground at my feet. I picked it up as he made an annoyed sound. My fingers traced the sharp edge of the picture before trailing down Lil's face. In the picture, Darren was standing behind a brilliantly smiling Sammy, his arms around her trim waist, his head resting against her neck. Lillian and I were standing next to them, my arms around her waist, her head tilted slightly to look up at me. She was so beautiful. For just a moment, I wondered if I could control my dream enough to bring her to me. I wanted to concentrate on it, but Darren snatched the photo from me and my train of thought vanished.
"You're a touch crazy, Luc," he muttered, still shaking his head.
I stood up and grabbing the picture from him, returned it to its spot on the mirror. Pressing it flat against the cool, reflective surface, I muttered, "Yeah...maybe. Killing your friends will do that to you."
A long sigh answered me and as my gaze shifted behind me in the mirror, I saw Darren's face soften in sympathy. He walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder. He was about to speak, when suddenly, Sammy stepped out from behind him. I smiled as I met eyes with her in the mirror. Hers were a warm, beautiful golden-brown and her smile was soft and friendly as she walked up to Darren and grabbed his free hand.
"Hi, Lucas," she whispered.
I turned to look at her, her auburn hair shining in the dim light of my room. "Hey, Sammy...it's good to see you."
She nodded and bit her lip. She looked over at Darren and he looked back at her. The love that passed between them in that gaze hit me like a wrecking ball in the center of my chest, and for a moment, I wanted to sob for taking that love from this earth. I swallowed back the pain and watched my soul-mated friends.
"It's time to go, Darren," Sammy said softly, her other hand going to his cheek.
He nodded to her and looked back at me. "I'll see you around, Luc...and be careful. Someone has it out for you."
I smirked at him. "Who doesn't, Darren?"
He frowned at me and looked about to argue, when I suddenly woke up.