‘When you say “whatever”,’ she said, ‘you have to make your fingers into a “W”, like this …’
‘Issy, you stop that right now,’ said Pearl in a warning voice. ‘Louis, that is not allowed, do you understand me?’
Issy and Louis made the ‘W’ sign at each other, then both chortled heartily.
‘Dear Santa Claus,’ said Pearl, writing out an imaginary letter, ‘I am terribly sorry, but Louis Kmbota McGregor has been very badly behaved this year, and—’
‘NOOOOO!’ shrieked Louis in sudden terror, charging over and hurling himself into his mother’s arms, and showering her with kisses. ‘I’m sorry, Mamma. I’m sorry. Sorry, Santa. I’m sorry.’
‘I think I’m coming round to Christmas,’ observed Pearl.
‘I’m not,’ said Issy. ‘I’m closing up early today.’
There was a massive groan from the customers in the café.
‘Shouldn’t you all be out getting stocious drunk for Christmas anyway?’ she asked.
‘The cake is soaking up the stocious drunkness from last night,’ shouted someone from the back, and a few people vehemently agreed.
‘Oh, all right,’ said Issy. ‘I may leave you all to help yourselves.’
‘Yay!’ said the crowd.
‘Don’t worry,’ said Maya, yawning but appearing efficiently at Issy’s elbow with a cup of coffee. ‘I can handle it.’
Caroline ostentatiously tidied away the white jacket in a dry-cleaning bag. ‘Hardly a thank you,’ she sniffed out loud. Issy turned to her. She knew why Caroline was in such a filthy mood.
‘So, Caroline, what are your plans for Christmas?’
‘I am going to go through Richard’s old address book and fuck all his friends in alphabetical order,’ said Caroline brightly. ‘Why?’
Caroline had been blinking very tightly all day and Issy had caught sight of a solicitor’s letter in her pocket. She guessed it wasn’t good news, as Caroline was being even more of a pain in the arse than usual.
‘Only I thought,’ said Issy, ploughing on. ‘Well, I’m going to be here …’
‘Alone?’ said Caroline sharply. Issy didn’t answer. She didn’t see why she shouldn’t pull rank once in a while, in the case of major insubordination.
‘… and Helena and Ashok wanted to have some family around, so I was thinking I might hold a little Christmas dinner here, in the café.’
Caroline didn’t say anything. Issy knew that if she hadn’t wanted to be included, she would have said something very sarcastic.
‘Would you like to join us?’ Issy asked gently.
Caroline shrugged. ‘Don’t think I’ll be doing the sodding clearing up,’ she said, blinking rapidly.
‘No clearing up, no coming,’ said Issy. ‘It’ll have to be all hands on deck. But it’ll be fun. Pearl?’
Pearl wrinkled her nose. Normally they just went to church and sat in front of the telly. But it might be more fun here for Louis, with Ashok’s little cousins running about the place …
‘I’d have to bring my mum,’ she said. ‘I can’t leave her on her own on Christmas Day.’
‘Of course,’ said Issy.
‘And I don’t know how we’d get here without buses or anything …’
‘Oh, I’ll pick you up in the Range Rover,’ said Caroline. ‘I won’t be doing much else in the morning.’ She remembered herself. ‘Of course it’s great to be alone on Christmas morning. I’m going to have a bit of a spa day, some real “me” time.’ Suddenly she burst into tears.
As Issy comforted Caroline, Pearl thought about Ben. She hadn’t decided whether to ask him for Christmas. Well, that was what she told herself. She still didn’t like thinking about where he’d got that bloody monster garage for Louis. But if she wanted to keep things civil – and she did, she did – she’d have to pretend that it was from a job, and that she hadn’t noticed her maintenance had dried up. She’d tackle him again in the new year. She thought that he thought she made more money than he did, or that she somehow didn’t mind paying for everything. She sighed. Everything did feel bloody unfair sometimes.
‘Um, and maybe …’ Issy looked at her, raising her eyebrows. ‘Louis’ dad?’ she whispered. Louis, however, was totally hypnotised by the Christmas train and didn’t notice.
Pearl shrugged. ‘Well, you know. He’s hardly Captain Reliable.’
‘Hmm,’ said Issy. She felt as if she had no idea who was reliable and who wasn’t, not any more. Pointless trying to guess really.
‘Fine,’ she said. ‘So we’ll have a huge one. Right here. I’d better find the world’s most gigantic turkey.’
‘Can we come?’ said a regular customer who’d been listening in.
‘No,’ said Issy. ‘They don’t do turkeys that big.’
There was a sigh from around the room.
‘Be quiet and eat your cake,’ said Issy, going over to phone her suppliers, see if anyone could recommend a really good last-minute gigantic turkey supplier.
‘Merry merry merry merry Christmas!’ Louis was singing to the train. It was a song they were doing at school. ‘Merry merry merry merry Christmas. Ding dong! Ding dong! Ding dong!’
Chapter Fifteen
Chocolate Cola Cupcakes with Fizzy Cola Frosting
Makes approx. 12 large cupcakes
200g plain flour, sieved
250g golden caster sugar
½ tsp baking powder
pinch salt
1 large free-range egg
125ml buttermilk
1 tsp vanilla essence
125g unsalted butter
2 tbsp cocoa powder
175ml Coca-Cola
For the frosting
400g icing sugar
125g unsalted butter, softened
1½ tbsp cola syrup (I used Soda Stream)
40ml whole milk
popping candy, to taste
fizzy cola bottles, candied lemon slices, stripy straws or candy canes to decorate
Preheat the oven to 180°C/gas mark 4. Line two 6-hole muffin tins with papers.
In a large bowl, combine the flour, sugar, baking powder and salt. In a separate bowl, beat together the egg, buttermilk and vanilla.