‘I wrote a bunch of crap in this essay – which my teacher really liked by the way, so thanks, Miss Hamm – about how to save the rainforest and protect biodiversity for future generations …’
Issy felt herself sit bolt upright all of a sudden.
‘Well, you know it’s crap and I know it’s crap. Everyone in China wants a fridge, and everyone in India wants an air-conditioning unit, and to deny people that kind of thing when they’re working incredibly hard under conditions we can’t even imagine is frankly totally smashed up. So why do we waste our time sorting out our sodding milk cartons and tea leaves? It’s not going to make one tiny blind bit of difference to the polar bears, you know that already. I guess we’re just filling in time here at school and talking about stuff like this for OFSTED, but really we all know it’s crap.’
Issy let out a low groan and her chin sank on to her chest.
‘So instead of fannying about with recycling water bottles – which is a joke anyway; if they were serious about this, you wouldn’t even be able to buy water in bottles because it’s arse – we might as well—’
Darny’s great ideas for a solution to all the problems of the world were cut off suddenly in their prime by a howling wail of feedback as Miss Hamm launched herself up on stage and grabbed the microphone out of his hands with a look on her face that indicated she regretted the passing of corporal punishment in schools to the very depths of her being.
‘DARNELL TYLER, REMOVE YOURSELF FROM THE STAGE THIS INSTANT.’
She turned to face the crowd. Darny still stood there, looking totally unbowed.
‘Ladies and gentlemen, I must apologise for the unprompted showing-off of one of our younger pupils … Is the guardian of Darnell Tyler in tonight?’
With hindsight, there couldn’t have been a better time for Austin to reply to the photo Issy had sent him with the words ‘Want to leave the country?’
‘Oh God, it was awful,’ said Issy the next day. ‘Awful awful awful. I was so embarrassed.’
‘I don’t see why,’ Caroline was saying. They were making eggnog coffee in the shop. Issy had expected this to be disgusting – it certainly sounded disgusting – but had inadvertently become completely addicted to it and was mainlining it that morning. The night before had been tricky; she was in no position to tell Darny off, but neither could she let him think that he was the hero of the hour, as his classmates apparently had (it was unlikely they had listened to what he was saying, but they had adored the bravura and the disruption).
But every time she brought it up on the way home (it didn’t help that Caroline had sighed and said, yes, she might have expected this kind of thing in a sink school, which as she’d just sat through over an hour of carefully put-together entertainment made Issy want to kick her), Darny had just shrugged and said well if she’d only let him explain, and she’d had to say that wasn’t the point, and Darny had said well that was hardly an argument was it, she must know he was right and everything was cyclical.
Issy tried to ignore Caroline’s nihilistic take on the whole thing, but she was surprised when Pearl weighed in on Darny’s side.
‘I’m not taking his side,’ Pearl explained patiently. ‘I’m just saying, it was quite a brave thing to do.’
Issy tutted. ‘Don’t be daft. My mum was always trying to get me to do stuff like this. Talk about CND or refuse to wear a skirt or something. She wanted me to be some kind of school mouthpiece.’
‘So what’s wrong with Darny doing it?’
‘I never did it!’ said Issy, horrified. ‘Cause everyone a bunch of trouble for nothing!’
Pearl and Caroline exchanged a rare smile.
‘What were you like at school, then?’ said Issy, stung.
‘Mine was a great school and I loved it,’ said Caroline, with a blank expression on her face. ‘I made friends for life and I loved boarding.’
Now it was time for Issy and Pearl to glance at each other.
‘What did you learn there, Caroline?’
Caroline ticked it off on her fingers. ‘How to eat tissue paper if you get really really hungry. How to pretend to be ordering chips in a restaurant then change your mind at the last minute. How to never ever tell a girl you like her boyfriend or she’ll call you a slut in front of the entire year. How to withstand prolonged and intense psychological warfare. And Latin.’
‘Happiest days of your life?’ said Issy.
Caroline shivered. ‘Please. Please let that not be true.’
‘What about you, Pearl?’ said Issy in a gently mocking tone.
‘I didn’t see the point of school,’ said Pearl. ‘And my mum never made me go, not really. I liked sitting up at the back of the class and teasing the teachers and hanging out with my homegirls and just having a laugh really. We didn’t care. We’d have eaten you two for breakfast.’
Issy agreed fervently with this.
‘Yours sounds the most fun,’ she said.
Pearl shook her head. ‘I can’t believe I wasted what I had,’ she said, with only a trace of bitterness in her voice. ‘They offered me a decent education and I chewed gum and smoked on buses. I envy Darny so much – he wants to learn, he wants to communicate and tell people stuff and engage. I couldn’t be bothered doing anything like that.’
She shook her head. ‘I tell you what, Issy, I hope Louis turns out like him.’
Issy sighed. And she hadn’t even told them about Austin’s job yet. She watched Louis patting the Advent calendar. ‘I wish your chocolate comes back one day,’ he was whispering to it. You were never supposed to want to swap worries with anyone, but for once she felt she could make an exception.
Chapter Nine
In fact, although she’d tried to make light of it, Issy had been close to tears by the time they’d got home the previous evening. She knew it was ridiculous – Darny’s outburst had nothing to do with her, and he was completely unfazed anyway – but it hurt that he didn’t even mind that she was upset with him. Everything she had ever told herself about not interfering in Darny’s life, not caring about him well, she did care about him. Of course she did. So it was galling to see that he didn’t feel the same way about her – why would he, some girlfriend of his stupid big brother?