He made a careless shrug. “I made a last minute appointment set for tomorrow. I was hoping we could see what it is about.” He pulled out his cell phone, tapped on the screen, and slid it over the counter towards me. “The exclusive agency sent me photos in case you were particular about what the surrogate would look like. They said that some parents always demands a certain IQ level and impressive beauty.”
My hand shook a little when I plucked the device off the countertop.
The intended surrogate was pretty. She looked like she was from Italian descent.
“What do you think?” His question echoed in my mind as I kept staring at the pretty picture.
She was strikingly pretty, too pretty for my liking. Did he choose this particular picture for another reason? I thought darkly as jealousy slowly crept in my system. Would Blake treat her like a queen because she was inseminated with his sperm? My train of thought was a total wreck, yet I couldn’t help it.
“You want her to live here while she’s carrying your child? Don’t tell me you want to fuck her, too?”
“Don’t be bloody absurd!” he thundered out, insulted.
“I don’t want any of this.” I slid the phone back towards him just as the tethering madness of anger exploded. “If you can’t wait to have a child, then maybe you married the wrong woman.”
“Now you’re just being ridiculous.” His nostrils flared as he stared at me with eyes full of a lot of things I didn’t care noticing. “Could we sit down and discuss this rationally? This is the most plausible solution for the both of us.”
“I am not going to let another woman carry your child!” I shrieked. “I can just see how enamored you’d be. You might end up falling for her, or much worse, believe that she’s truly the mother of your child. I’m not going to let that happen. Not on my watch.”
He pulled the side of his hair, muttering something in Italian. “If you can’t stand the bloody thought of another woman carrying our child, then why don’t you do it for us, Sienna? It’s only nine months. I know that’s a lot of time to ask you to sacrifice, but I promise, I will deliver on whatever it is you wish for. If you want a job anywhere, just name it, I’ll make it happen. If you want to open a business, just say so, I’d provide all the help so you wouldn’t even have to worry about a thing. If you want to travel the world, hell, I have jets on standby to take you anywhere. Don’t you see how desperate I am for this, Sienna?” His voice shook. “I’m man enough to tell you that I’m desperate to have our baby, and I’m beseeching you, begging for your consideration to grant me this wish, just this once. I promise I’ll move Heaven and earth to make you happy. I can love the child for the both of us, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
This was getting to be too much to handle. How could he go on and on about this when it was a dead end? Why couldn’t he just drill it into his head?
“You’re pushing me to have a baby when I’m not ready for it. I’m just not. And you said it yourself in the very beginning that you’d be willing to wait until I was ready. What happened to that?”
“My grandfather’s sickness happened.”
“You’re asking for the impossible, Blake. I’m sorry, but my answer hasn’t changed.”
“I know,” he murmured much to himself. “But it was worth a try.”
His broken face and dispirited demeanor brought immense despair.
“Don’t do this. Don’t withdraw from me. Trust me, this is for the best.” I had believed in my heart this would not change our relationship, but looking at his stricken face, I wasn’t so sure anymore.
“You’re right. My apologies. This was a mistake.” The smile he granted me tore my insides raw.
“We’re going to be fine,” I assured him. I wanted to walk towards him and give him comfort, however he stopped me with a look before I even took a step forward.
“I’ll sleep in the guest room tonight. I need to clear my head.”
Okay, at least it wasn’t the office or a nearby hotel. That was a small blessing.
“If that’s what you think is best.”
~
When Blake said that he needed to stay the night in one of our guest rooms, I truly thought he meant one night. Five days later, he didn’t seem to be in any hurry to move back into our bedroom.
It was troubling to see how the argument had brought us so far apart. I’d love to reach out to him, feel his touch again, his warmth, and the sweetness of his kisses, but I knew he wasn’t ready to do any of that. The past five days were indication enough; he didn’t even try to call or text me like he usually did. There were no messages of sweet nothings, sometimes asking me if I had forgotten any meals, or if I fancied anything in particular for dinner, like he usually did. Most of the time, those messages were small reminders that showed me how much he loved me.
I can’t get you out of my head.
Ti amo, cara. Never fail to remember that.
You unman me, amore.
Don’t forget to enrich your gorgeous body with breakfast, poppet.
Forever I am yours, Mr. Knightly.
I’m in a meeting. Instead of listening to new proposals, I imagine you amidst the table, dancing, seducing me with your gorgeous eyes, with your body. Did I tell you how much you affect me, Sienna?
I love you. You. Just you. Forever you. Always you. Mrs. Knightly.
Husband here… thinking about this wicked witch who woke me up in the middle of the night, beautifully riding me like I was her instrument for pleasure. You amaze me, cara. I knew I married you for all sorts of pleasurable reasons.
Did I tell you that each time I passed Knightsbridge that I remember that first time I took you for a massage? My God, how I ached for you then… and how much that has tripled since then…
Hi, Sienna. Please tell me you miss me.
New trendy restaurant opened in Mayfair. Mind if you let your knight take you out on a date?
Back in my London office, mind paying me a kinky visit anytime soon?
Don’t forget lunch, cara.
Fucking hell. I bloody fucking miss you.
These random ramblings from him here and there, whether he was in the country or out on business halfway across the world, never failed to let me know I was never far from his thoughts. His utter silence was deafening now. This was his punishment… by completely ignoring me?
Well, at least he still came home, I thought dourly, yet the idea didn’t bring much comfort, either.