“You were wrong.”
Linus raises his head to meet my eyes and the grim reaper I recently saw in my father is there in the cold stare. “Tommy’s been dealt with, and I’m in the midst of paying penance for my sins.”
My gut twists and I understand there’s no point in asking or pleading for Tommy. Justice, in whatever form, has been served.
“You were pulling away, Abby. Making friends. Kissing some guy and looking at him like you cared. Fuck, it’s like you were going out of your way to break your father’s rules.”
“You couldn’t try letting me go? I hear there’s a song with a cute snowman. You should give it a try.”
“You were my meal ticket. My relationship with you made me important to Ricky. You quit and I lost my leverage.”
I overly pout my bottom lip. “Oh, boo hoo. Poor Linus has to be promoted based on his own merit.” I lose the mock caring act. “Get the fuck off my porch.”
“You really want to disappear, Abby? Because I don’t think that’s what you want.”
“What I want is not your concern.”
“Return to selling and I swear to God you’ll be safe and if you want to keep your friends, keep Logan, then I won’t stand in your way.”
I throw my arms out to my sides. “Because of you I was shot! I could have died!”
“I know!” he roars as he stands. “You and your dad were the closest thing I had to a family and I’m well aware I fucked up, but you were leaving. I couldn’t let you leave.”
I cross my arms and lower my head because I don’t want to hear or see any this. I don’t want to hear how Linus cared or see how he’s hurting. “You betrayed me.”
“I’m sorry.”
He shoves his hands into his sagging jean pockets and he waits. For what I don’t know. As fucked up as Linus was, I understood him, because I was just as messed up. We were related by a man who took us in regardless of how mentally screwed in the head we were. Linus and I—we weren’t really friends, but we were allies and that used to mean something. It’s as close to being emotional as Linus would allow—as close to an emotion as I used to allow and now I’m leaving.
“I can’t forgive you,” I say. “Not now.”
“I know. Your dad knows what I did, but I have a feeling you know this otherwise you wouldn’t have come back into town. He’s pissed, but he understands why I did what I did.”
Dad offered him some sort of forgiveness because our world will always be a complicated one, which is why Dad has told me to leave. Plus Dad only has so much pull left in the outside world. Touching Linus may not be one of the things he can do anymore.
“I know you don’t want to leave, Abby.”
“I’m not selling anymore.”
“I get that. I thought I would offer you another out. One where you can leave selling and Ricky won’t ask you to return. One where you might walk without too much fear of repercussions later.”
My forehead furrows as I wait for his explanation. I’ve tried to think of a thousand ways to walk from selling where Ricky wouldn’t be asking me back or wouldn’t be hunting me down in fear of what I know.
“Remember Travis Barnell?”
“He sold on the east side.” Did great, too. He moved up quickly. Had lots of contacts and, in the end, wasn’t a psychopath. One of those nice guys that could have done real things with his life.
Linus raises his eyebrows, waiting for me to catch up and my lungs constrict. “You want me to get arrested? He served two years next to Dad.”
“But when Travis was released, Ricky didn’t want him back as a seller. Too many eyes were on him and because Travis didn’t snitch, Ricky left him alone.”
I blink. Several times.
“It’s an option. You play it right, you could serve some time, not a lot, keep your mouth shut and if you just happen to mention to someone you’re Mozart’s daughter...”
Then the cops would always be watching me. If Mozart’s daughter had become a dealer, then they’ll think that maybe I’m trying to reclaim his glory and the moment I was released, I would be the equivalent to a rat in a science experiment maze. Ricky wouldn’t want me back because I would bring unwanted attention to his business, and he wouldn’t touch me if he thought there were eyes on me.
My blood tingles. This could work. I serve time, but I could stay in Louisville. I wouldn’t have to stop being me. I open my mouth to say something, but Linus turns his back to me and walks down the ramp. “Goodbye, Abby.”
“Bye, Linus,” I say softly, and he glances over his shoulder at me and winks.
Another piece of my previous life fades from view and I begin to contemplate jail.
Logan
Outside crickets chirp and a half-moon smiles down at us as I hug Mom goodbye.
“It’s late,” I say. “You can crash here if you want.”
Mom pats my cheek then with one hand tries to squish my cheeks together like she did when I was younger, but fails. “Your father isn’t the only night owl. I’m used to being up late myself.”
She lets me go and frees her crazy curly hair from her ponytail and ruffles it out. “I’ll text you when I get home.”
“Would you have a problem with it?” I ask. “Me dating a girl who sold drugs?”
Mom tilts her head in amusement and I give a short laugh. Of course she wouldn’t.