“You, Blake….I just want you.” Unbelievable. How does she do it?
I couldn’t even fathom touching another woman after that Saturday night. I didn’t want anyone else. After that night, I only got hard thinking about Sienna. To be quite honest, I shagged all other women after she and I broke up in the first place, and only thought about Sienna. Technically, each time I shagged, I had to think of her to get hard and needed to imagine her so I could f**k others.
“I don’t know what to say or do. I genuinely am at a loss for words.” I truthfully am. How can one be with someone when all is lost?
But after being with her last night—I honestly do not know how to let her go. Apart from hating her, being with her makes me feel somewhat complete. While I’m with her at sporadic times, I feel deliriously happy. What an abominable situation to be in.
She wrapped her soft arms around me from behind. Her naked br**sts were pressed on my back and my body started to stir again from the feel of her. Yes, admittedly being with Sienna rather gives me a constant erection—even in unfortunate circumstances like right now.
“Let’s keep what we have right now going—whatever this is. After last night, I can’t lose you—not just yet. We have to see this through. I need to be with you, Blake. Not having you in my life almost killed me. I’d rather have this than not have you at all.”
Empty life and great sex?
“I wasn’t planning on leaving you. It’s difficult to be with you, Sienna. At most times, it gets severe and trying—but I can’t walk away either. Whether I love or hate you, at the same time you’re in my blood. I cannot get rid of it because you imbedded and fastened yourself inside of me. I’m not letting you go…I’m never letting you go.”
“I love you Blake.” She kissed the back of my neck.
I huffed out a damning sigh. I earnestly contemplated if I should have another round with her on the bed before I head to shower. Chad must be waiting outside, I have to keep going. “I have to dash and shower. We have to leave for the airport soon.”
She nodded. “Do you want me to join you? I could shower again.”
That would be bloody brilliant, but not. “I’d rather be alone for a bit if you don’t mind.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll meet you downstairs. Have Marcus or any of the help come fetch your things. I don’t want you to do any heavy lifting and end up hurting yourself.” She nervously bit her lip and nodded.
Hell, I have to get out of here before I haul her naked body back on the bed. I savagely cursed my rogue thoughts and left her bedroom.
“This will be your room for awhile.” I indicated the guestroom as Chad strode inside. My guestroom was rather spacious with a large Jacuzzi tub and a steam shower large enough to fit three to four persons.
He sighed and sat on the queen-sized bed. “You know, I’m not going to try and get myself in trouble. You guys don’t have to be so over protective. I’m not a child.” Chad seemed discomfited and quite sad. I strode towards the wall-to-ceiling windows and stared at the traffic below.
“We know you aren’t Chad. But you must understand we are only trying to help you.”
“If you want to help so much, then can you please fix things with Sienna? I don’t get it—you guys are both obnoxious and nauseating lately.” He shook his boggled head.
Chad was Sienna’s confidante and I’m quite sure the lad knew what is going on. The only person I usually confide in was Toby, but recent events had left my best man in rotten shambles since he and Lucy broke up. Toby couldn’t let a day go by without cursing his beloved. What blasted luck both of us had fallen in love with such stubborn women.
“It’s my fault” I told Chad. “I couldn’t rein in my feelings when it comes to Matthews. Could you blame me if all I could see is her underneath Kyle?”
He gasped and placed a hand over his parted mouth. “You have got to be kidding me! Blake—don’t torture yourself, that’s just plain cruel. Okay, my girl totally made a screwed up decision, haven’t we all? She’s entitled to make mistakes too. But you need to start learning how to forgive because if you don’t, how long do you think she’ll stay?
“I mean—unless all your aim here is to get rid of her then you’re doing one heck of a job, buddy. But if you want to keep her—this is a big no no. She loves you bozo! She chose you and not Kyle. Get than in your super smart brain!” Chad sounded exasperated and wound up; he started to pace back and forth, and stopped. “What’s the deal with Camilla, Blake?”
“Whatever do you mean?”
“The business section today—it said about your grandfather stepping down and possibly an announcement about your formal engagement with her?” He paused. “I’m such an ass—congratulations about the future CEO! I seriously forgot because all I could think about was the other piece of information.”
Who could possibly leak stories to the media? Cam and I haven’t seen each other after that call I placed yesterday. Surely, it could be just a rumor?
“It’s fairly complicated. I cannot explain it in thorough detail at this moment. But I will eventually.”
“Good because I don’t want my baby love to be going through any more shit cakes, you know? Just saying—if you’re only after sex with her then it’s best you let the bird out of its cage. I know she’s free to go as she pleases—but she loves you—so that might need drastic measures—again—that is if you’re only after sex.”
“I want her for more than just sex—but it is complex and it isn’t that simple anymore.”
“Please try a little harder—it’s not cool to see her like this. You better go to the other room and make her happy.”
That would be quite tricky. I hated not knowing what to do.
“I’ll order in food in an hour or two for dinner. I’ll see you in a bit.” I went to the door and strode towards my bedroom, where Sienna was unpacking her things.
I found her in the vast his and hers closet. She wore black leggings and a loose pink and black striped cotton sweater. One shoulder was exposed as she moved about. I studied her for awhile. My eyes lingered on her exposed shoulder, my mouth itched to kiss that exposed spot. I wanted to take her in my arms and kiss those pouty, soft lips but I couldn’t drag myself and do it.
Instead, I locked myself in the study and did what I did best. Work.