It took her a little longer than it did him, but not by much. Had she not spent the last five minutes staring at her reflection in the mirror, trying to prepare herself for whatever he wanted to talk about, they’d probably already be done talking and he would be on his way.
Coming out of the bathroom, the first thing she noticed was that all of the lights in her apartment were off, with the exception of the single lamp on her bedside table. The soft golden glow spilled out into the hallway and Lucie steeled herself for what she would find when she entered her room.
Forcing her feet to move, she walked into the cramped little room, noticing Kane lying on her bed, one arm propped over his eyes. He was still wearing his jeans, but he hadn’t bothered to pull down the comforter on her bed.
Was he asleep?
Moving to the opposite side of the bed, Lucie stared down at him, wondering just what the hell she was supposed to do now. Before she could contemplate her next move, Kane raised his arm and looked up at her.
“Lay down beside me.”
His voice was gruff from sleep, and she knew he had actually passed out right there in her bed. Instead of arguing, she climbed onto the bed beside him, not pulling the blankets back before she placed her head on the pillow, staring up at the ceiling.
When the lamp turned off, she turned her head toward him but couldn’t see a thing in the darkened room.
“Come here, Lucie.”
As though she was on autopilot and his voice were her commands, her body moved toward him, curling into him as she rested her head on his arm.
“I missed this last night,” he whispered into the darkened room, his breath fanning her hair as he spoke the words close to her face.
It wasn’t like they had slept in the same bed for the last week because he had always ventured out to the sofa at the condo while she remained in the bedroom. Lucie hadn’t had the luxury of waking up in his arms, and she wondered whether she ever would.
While she had been in the shower, she had resigned herself to listening to everything he had to say. She wasn’t going to argue, nor was she going to beg. Instead, she had decided that she would take what he could give her. If that meant he came over, and they stole a few hours alone in the dark in her bed each night, so be it. It was more than she felt she deserved.
“We’re moving,” she blurted out before she thought better of it. Clearly she had an issue with the silence because she felt the need to fill it with random thoughts.
“Moving?”
“Yes. I found a nicer apartment, and it’s in a great neighborhood with good schools. I’ve been saving up so that Haley and I could move before she started kindergarten.”
Kane didn’t say anything more, he just pulled her closer and Lucie listened to the sound of his heart beating beneath her ear. After a few minutes of silence, she figured he’d fallen back asleep. She knew she should try to sleep too.
“I love you.”
Even with the complete silence, Kane’s words were barely audible, but Lucie figured that was because her heart had begun to pound like she’d just run a marathon. And that was after he spoke. He didn’t move, and he didn’t say anything more. She was beginning to think she had imagined it, when finally he repeated the words.
“I love you, Lucie. I’ve loved you for a long time.”
Lucie’s fingers dug into the warm skin beneath her fingertips as a single tear slid down her cheek landing on his chest.
“Don’t cry, baby,” Kane whispered, pushing her off of him as he maneuvered so that he was above her, resting on his arm.
Lucie couldn’t see his face in the dark, but she could feel his presence above her and the weight of his body against her side. She had no idea what to say. She didn’t know if her voice would even work because there was a lump the size of a basketball in her throat.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say it before,” Kane began, but Lucie immediately silenced him by pressing her fingers against his lips.
“Please don’t apologize, Kane. If anyone should say they’re sorry, it should be me.” She’d hurt him so badly by keeping her secret and Lucie considered herself lucky that he would even speak to her, much less tell her that he loved her.
“I don’t want you to be sorry either,” Kane whispered, his breath closer to her mouth. “I just want you to love me back. I want you to love me forever, Lucie.” His mouth pressed gently against hers, “Please just love me forever.”
Lucie peered up at him, trying her best to see him in the dark. Her eyes had finally adjusted somewhat, and she could see his profile, but not the pained look she sensed on his handsome face. “I already love you, Kane. And you don’t have to worry about forever, I can’t go back now. I’ve never been able to go back.”