“But you said . . .”
“What did I say, baby?”
She huffed in a breath, expelling it long over her lips. “You said it wasn’t like that. That I have a choice. That you wouldn’t do something I didn’t want.”
He sighed patiently, his gaze boring into her face. “Baby, it’s done. You don’t get a choice because the choice has already been made. And I’m not going to apologize for not discussing it with you beforehand. It was my choice to make. You belong to me. Told you from the start that I take that very seriously. That means I protect you. I do whatever it takes to make sure you’re safe and well cared for.”
“Would I have ever known if I hadn’t run into him?” she whispered.
Ash immediately shook his head. Unapologetic. Gaze steady. Unwavering.
“No. Not something I’d ever want you to know or even think about. I’m pissed because you had to see him at all.”
She closed her eyes and shook her head, trying to shake off the buzzing in her ears. This was crazy, wasn’t it? Ash had taken a huge risk. For her. Not one she’d have wanted him to take. No way in hell. How could he be so certain nothing would fall back on him? The only thing he seemed annoyed about at all was that she’d run into Michael. It was obvious that Ash never had any intention of her knowing anything about it. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
The saying went that ignorance was bliss, and she supposed in this case it was. She wished she didn’t know. Maybe she wouldn’t feel so unsettled. And so uncertain of the man she’d committed to in a huge way.
“Josie, you’re overthinking this,” Ash chided softly. “This is why I would have never had you know about this. No good can come of you worrying or stressing over this. And if this brings us into question for you, then I can only tell you that I’ve been honest with you. I’ve been straightforward. Never tried to hide the kind of man I am from you. And I told you from the start that we do things my way. You’re mine to protect. To care for. I can guarantee you that nothing like this will ever touch you. Don’t want you thinking about it. Can you do that for me?”
She sucked in a deep breath as Ash watched her intently, waiting for her response. This was huge. He was basically asking her if she could get over it and move on. That she not freak out about this. That she trust him. Those were big things to ask. She’d assumed he was a businessman. A wealthy, powerful businessman. She’d never imagined for one minute that he was immersed in gray, murky areas or that he would even be capable of meting out violence to someone who’d hurt something he considered his own.
It shouldn’t surprise her, and maybe that was what she grappled with. The idea that maybe it hadn’t been as shocking to her as it should have been. It would explain why she was trying to muster up outrage. Or all the appropriate responses. Because she wasn’t feeling them and she thought she should be.
“Josie?” Ash questioned quietly. “I need an answer from you, baby.”
“Yes,” she finally said. “I can do that for you, Ash.”
He gathered her in his arms and pressed his lips to her forehead. She closed her eyes, melting into his embrace.
“It scares me, Ash. Not for the reasons you might think, and maybe I feel guilty over that. But what scares me isn’t that you’re this person who went out and beat the crap out of someone. I don’t worry that you’re capable of hurting me that way. But what scares me is the thought of losing you. Of you going to jail because you were protecting me. I don’t want that. I never want that.”
He smiled and lowered his mouth, kissing her lips.
“Don’t worry about me, darling. I’ve got it covered. I didn’t just go out on a whim and kick his ass. And I don’t say this to freak you out, but I don’t want you to worry about it anymore. After tonight, we don’t talk about it. We don’t bring it up. But I carried out a well-thought-out plan. I have an alibi and Michael was warned of the consequences of him ever coming near you and also of him going to the police. I don’t think we’ll have an issue with either. I made my point pretty clear.”
She pressed her forehead to his chest, the top of her head brushing the underside of his chin.
“Okay,” she whispered. “I won’t worry and we won’t talk about it again.”
He squeezed her to him. “Thank you, baby. For trusting me. I won’t let you down. Now let’s go back inside and finish dessert. You have a girls’ night out to plan and you and I have a dress and shoes to buy for you.”
Chapter twenty-one
Josie walked ahead of Ash when the elevator opened into his apartment. The ride home had been quiet. They’d eaten dessert, conversed casually with Ash’s friends and then Ash had made their excuses and he and Josie had left. She knew Ash watched her, was gauging her mood and her reaction to the issue with Michael.
What could she say? That she felt more shamed by the fact she wasn’t outraged over what Ash had done than she was with the fact he’d exacted revenge on the man who’d hurt her?
She didn’t want to think about the type of human being that made her. Or perhaps it just made her human. She hated Michael for what he’d done. Hated the fact that he’d made her doubt herself. That she’d been too shocked, ashamed and afraid to file charges against him. She also hated the fact that if she’d done what she should have, Ash would have never had to have involved himself in the mess. She could hardly blame him when her own inactivity contributed.
“Lot on your mind, baby,” Ash observed as they stopped in the living room.
She turned to him, attempting a reassuring smile. “I’m good, Ash. Really. I don’t want you to worry that I’m upset with you. Or angry. I’m mad at myself, but not you.”
His brow lifted and his gaze sharpened. “Why the hell are you angry with yourself?”
She sighed, and then he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her toward the couch. He sat and tugged her down onto his lap, a position she was becoming all too accustomed to.
She loved that he wanted no distance between them. Loved that he felt the need to touch her often. That he wanted her close whenever they discussed an issue. She drew great comfort from that fact.
It was pretty damn hard to fear anything when she was surrounded by Ash. She knew, just as he’d done with Michael, that he’d protect her from anything that could possibly hurt her.
“Josie,” he prompted. “Waiting, baby.”
“If I’d had the guts to do what I was supposed to do, you would have never had to risk yourself the way you did by going after Michael,” she said with an unhappy frown.
He put his fingers to her lips, his gaze fierce. He looked . . . pissed.
“That’s bullshit,” he bit out. “I would have still kicked his fucking ass. And in a lot of ways, my method of dealing with him is far more effective than if you’d had him arrested. He probably would have gotten out with a slap on the wrist, if that. And if you’d wanted to pursue anything further, it would have been hell on you. And there’s no telling the lengths he would have gone to in order to discourage you from seeking punishment for him. This way—my way—he’s scared shitless, and furthermore, he now knows what it feels like for someone to beat the shit out of him. I don’t anticipate him ever being a problem for you again. Did he say anything to you when you saw him today? You never said.”
She shook her head. “No. He looked . . . scared.”
Triumph gleamed in Ash’s eyes. “Good,” he said fiercely. “So he said nothing? Did he look at you?”