“I’m surprised.”
My eyes find hers as I cock an eyebrow. “Why?”
“You loved science.”
“I loved you more,” I reply without thinking and then wish I could pull the words back and throw them in the water.
Real smooth, Williams.
She clenches her eyes closed and then sits up and gazes over at me. “Do you know, whenever I got nervous, whether it was in an audition, or right before a show… whatever, it was your voice I heard? Breathe with me, M. I clung to that more times than I can tell you. You were with me, every day. Even when I tried to forget you.”
“Were there other men?” I ask with a steel in my voice I can’t hide.
“It’s been ten years. Are you going to tell me you never slept with anyone in ten years?”
I blink at her and then look out at the water myself. “No, I can’t tell you that.”
“I’m not going to give you a play by play, M, because I don’t want that from you either. It would fucking kill me.” Her voice is strong and sure when I turn my gaze back to hers. “But I’ll say this: you will never know how much I wished for you. Even though I knew it was selfish and wrong, I just wanted you.”
I open my blanket and pull her against me, rest my lips on her forehead and relish how it feels to have her in my arms. She buries her face in my neck, the way she always did, and takes in a long, deep breath.
“Do you still want me?” I ask, not sure if I really want to hear the answer.
“Every. Day. It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.” She burrows deeper, clinging to me. “What about you?”
“There were days,” I begin softly and rub my nose against her soft hair, “that I would have exchanged a year of my life just to touch you one more time. You are my biggest what if, M.”
We sit in silence, clinging to each other for a long time, breathing each other in and enjoying the night around us.
“How is it possible that you still smell the same?” she finally asks brokenly. I smile against her temple and then kiss her there.
“I thought the same exact thing when you hugged me at Addie’s funeral.”
“Mark, where do we go from here?”
I tip her chin back to look in her eyes. They’re full of unshed tears and confusion. Fuck, I’m confused too.
“Do you want to start over? Get to know each other again?” I swallow hard and watch her bite that gorgeous lower lip. “We’re not the same people we were then, M.”
“The chemistry is still here,” she replies dryly.
I nod, but I can’t help but wonder, is it chemistry? Or is this just simply meant to be?
“I would like that,” she replies. “I’d like that very much.”
Her eyes fall to my lips, and I can’t stand it any more. Those lips would tempt a saint. I lower my head and brush my lips over hers softly. Once, twice, then nibble the corner of her mouth. She sighs and moans softly, cups my face in her small hands and kisses me back. God, she feels so fucking good pressed up against me, her nipples puckered and rubbing against my chest as she pushes against me, trying to get closer.
She opens her mouth for me, and my tongue tangles with hers and suddenly we’re kissing as if no time has passed at all. My hands remember where to hold her and her hands plunge into my hair and hold on tight, the way they always did. She sighs as my hands glide down her back to her hips and back up to her face as I pull back reluctantly.
“God, I missed kissing you,” I murmur.
She kisses my nose and then tips her forehead against mine. “It’s late enough that no one is out here to see us,” she says with a naughty smile.
“Jesus, you’d tempt an angel into hell.” I growl and push my hands under her sweater, gliding them up and down her bare back, over the thin strap of her bra. “But I’ll be damned if the first time I make love with you again is on this fucking pier.”
“When did you get such a potty mouth?” she asks with a laugh and kisses my cheek, still pushing her fingers through my hair.
“Many years on a fishing boat with a bunch of men,” I reply with a chuckle. “Plus, now I spend a lot of time with the Montgomerys and they’re nothing but potty mouths.”
“They seem like a great family.” I pull back to look into her eyes at the wistful tone of her voice.
“We’re all getting together on Sunday. Come with me.”
It’s not a fucking request.
She blinks rapidly and shakes her head. “Um, we just—”
“I want you there,” I whisper and drag my fingertips gently down her cheek. “Please.”
“This is moving fast.”
“We’re just making up for lost time, baby.”
She wraps her arms around my neck and hugs me tight, buries her face in my neck and squeezes. “I’ll go.”
I grin and hug her back. “Look.” She pulls back and follows my outstretched arm. “The sun’s coming up.”
“Holy shit, we were out here that long?”
“We had a lot of catching up to do,” I reply and lie back on the dock, cradling Mer on my chest. I wrap the blanket tightly around us and kiss her head as we watch the sky begin to wake up.
“I should get home. Jax probably tried to call. I left my phone in the Jeep.”
“You’re a grown woman and Jax can stay out of it,” I reply. “But you’ll need your sleep.”