Her belief in him slowly began to shatter, tiny jagged pieces of trust and faith chipping away, ripping into her insides as they sank down to her stomach like sharp little razor blades. How could he have done this? And why hadn’t she seen it, damn it?
“Why didn’t you call me?” she whispered.
“I was too ashamed.” His voice cracked again. “I didn’t want you to know I’d destroyed everything I’d built.” His eyes looked so tortured Hayden had to turn away. “I never wanted another woman after your mother died. None of the ones I met even compared to her. So I focused on my job instead, first as a coach, and then as an owner. Money was tangible, you know? Something I didn’t think I could lose.”
When she looked at him again, she was stunned to see tears on her dad’s cheeks. “But I did lose it. I lost it and I got scared. I thought I’d lose Sheila, too.” He swiped viciously at his wet eyes. “I know part of the reason she married me was for my money. I’m no fool, Hayden. But Sheila and I also loved each other. Sometimes I think I still love her. She’s so full of…life, I guess. And after so many years of feeling dead, I needed that. I didn’t want to lose her. I started drinking too much, trying to forget about what was happening, I guess. Sheila tried to help me, but I wouldn’t listen. I didn’t want her to think I was weak…”
His voice drifted, his eyes glistening with pain, shame and unshed tears. Tears sprang to Hayden’s eyes, too.
She’d never seen her father cry before. It broke her heart. And it hurt even more knowing that she hadn’t even noticed while his life was spinning out of control. She knew how much his career and reputation and, yes, his wealth, mattered to him. The threat of losing it had driven him to make such hideous decisions. And she’d been so busy living her own life that she’d failed to be there for her father. Because no matter how dishonorably he’d behaved, he still was her father, and she couldn’t write him off just because he’d screwed up.
She rose slowly from the chair and rounded the desk, placing her hand on her dad’s shoulder. His head jerked up, his eyes wide with surprise, and then the tears flowed in earnest down his cheeks.
“I’m sorry, Hayden,” he choked out.
She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “I know you are, Daddy. Don’t worry. We’re going to get you some help.” She swallowed. “And you’re…you’re going to have to tell the truth today, okay?”
Dropping her arms, she stared into her father’s eyes, seeing the remorse and guilt flickering in them. After a moment, he nodded. “You’re right,” he whispered. “I know I need to face the consequences of my actions.”
“I’m here for you, Dad. And if you want me to go to the interview with you, I will.”
He shook his head. “It’s something I need to do alone.”
“I understand.”
Her father rubbed his cheeks, then looked up at her and sighed. “Don’t you think it’s time for you to explain?”
“Explain what?” she asked in bewilderment.
“I do read the newspapers, Hayden.” He shook his head. “How long have you been seeing Croft?”
Heat flooded her cheeks. “Not long.”
“And this affair…you think it’s a good idea? Croft isn’t your usual type, sweetheart.”
“It’s not an affair,” she blurted out. “I…I love him.” She couldn’t fight the tears that stung her eyelids. “I want to be with him, Dad.”
She paused as the words settled between them. I want to be with him. And then she thought of what she’d told her father, just a moment ago. I’m here for you.
Why was it so easy for her to say that to her father, but not to Brody? He might not have the stable life she’d always longed for, but didn’t he have so many other incredible qualities that more than made up for having to travel every now and then?
She suddenly realized how unfairly she’d treated him, wanting to keep everything on her terms. Fighting him when he tried to make her see they were good for each other.
Well, he was right. They were good for each other. Brody was the first man she’d ever been truly herself with. He made her laugh. He drove her wild in bed. He listened.
God, she didn’t deserve Brody. All she’d done since the day they’d met was set boundaries, have expectations, find reasons why he wasn’t right for her. Yet he’d stayed by her side. Even when she came up with silly rules, or told him he was nothing but a fling. Wasn’t that what she claimed to want in a man? Someone solid to stand by her?