“If you won’t tell me, I’ll find him myself!”
My father started for the front door, and I raced after him in a panic.
“Don’t!” I grabbed his forearm, and pulled him back. He turned, his tall figure looming over me.
“Why not? He should be here with you, telling us he’s the one responsible for this!”
“Erik -” my mother started but I cut her off.
“He doesn’t know.” The first tear slipped over my eyelid, and I flicked it away quickly. I hated showing emotion, but for some reason my chest was tight, and filled to the brim with everything I was feeling.
With pinched brows, and a taut expression, my father looked at my mother and then back at me. “Do you think he’ll stick around once he does know? He is no more prepared to be a father than you are a mother, Jade. He’ll run the moment he finds out, and then what?”
“Then I’ll love her enough for the both of us!” I cried. “Reid can make his decision once I tell him, but either way, this baby” – I flattened my palm against my still flat belly – “will be loved by me.”
I will love her. I already do.
We had yet to find out the gender, but I had a feeling in my gut that it was a little girl. My little blessing.
“So you’re going to throw away your future, your dreams for this child?” My father barked. “You can’t be that reckless! You’re not ready to be a parent!”
I straightened my shoulders, and stood tall. “What would you know about being a parent?” I asked through gritted teeth. “You’re never here.”
My fathers’ face remained stoic, but his reaction to my words reflected back at me through his eyes, contrition shining the brightest.
“This was not part of my plan,” I said, swallowing back the emotion clogging my throat. “And neither was falling in love with my best friend,” – my fathers’ eyes widened at that – “but plans change, and I will adjust. With or without yours and moms help.”
I turned on my heel, and ran up the stairs. My mother called after me but I needed out. I heard her say something to my father, but the words were muted the closer I got to my bedroom.
My mother had left everything the same, even though I’d been going to college and living away from home for two years. The walls were still light purple, with the white furniture my parents had bought me for my sixteenth birthday, and the king-sized canopy bed with dark purple bedding. As a girl I loved spending my time here, reading, listening to music...hanging out with Reid.
Our parents were best friends - Reid’s father had gone to college with mine, and they played golf together every Sunday when they weren’t away on business, and our mothers were always in contact, whether it was at some social event, or afternoon lunches with girlfriends.
We’d been interwoven into each other’s lives from birth, and now the ties that kept us bound were coming undone. At least that’s how it felt.
I took out my phone, and saw several missed calls, and texts, most of which were from Reid. I couldn’t bring myself to return them, or call him back. I knew I’d have to see him soon, but until then I could pretend that I wasn’t scared of how things were going to change after I told him I was pregnant. I could pretend that I wasn’t going to feel guilty for altering the course of his life, and I could pretend that the fear of losing him wasn’t going to drown me.
** ** ** ** **
I wasn’t sure how long I’d been asleep, but I woke up feeling better than I’d felt in weeks. It was a strange sense of calm, and I reveled in the lack of inner turmoil that had been plaguing me lately. A peel of laughter coming from downstairs caught my attention, and after slipping into a light silk robe, and freshening up in the bathroom, I made my way to the kitchen. My mother was sitting at the breakfast bar, a cup of coffee in her hands, smiling at my two friends. Kennedy smiled when I walked in, while Grady looked at me pointedly and huffed in disapproval.
“Took you long enough,” he said. His mouth tipped up into a half-grin, and he pushed away from the counter to envelope me in a hug. “We’ve been waiting for you to wake up for two hours already.”
“What are you even doing here?” I asked, looking between him and Kennedy. “You’re supposed to be in Cabo for the rest of the week.”
Kennedy stepped up to my other side, and rested her arm over my shoulders. “We go where you go,” she said happily. Her blonde hair was hanging loose over her shoulders, and her skin was perfectly sun-kissed.
“How are you feeling?” Asked my mother. She watched me from over the rim of her coffee cup, and I caught her meaning.
“Rested,” I replied, half-smiling. “Can I have some coffee, please?”
My mother stood, and went about making me some much needed java, while I took a seat. She placed it in front of me, and leaned in to kiss my temple. “Decaf,” she whispered. “Make sure you eat something, por favor.”
“Si, mama.”
“I’ll give you some time alone with your friends,” she added, speaking to all of us. “I’ll be in the study if you need me.” Her heels clicked on the tiled floor, and my nerves started thrumming in rhythm with her steps. Reid should be the first to hear, but I was bursting to tell someone, and I trusted that neither Kennedy nor Grady would spill. It was working up the courage to tell them that I was having difficulty with.
“So,” Grady sat down next to me, “before we get to the d-r-a-m-a that you missed in Cabo, are you feeling better? Did you see the doctor?”
Kennedy stood at my other side, and looking between them I realized I was safe. They weren’t going to judge me, or make me feel like a complete screw up.
I could tell them.
“I’m pregnant,” I blurted out.
Their eyes widened, and their mouths popped open.
“Jade...” Kennedy’s expression turned sympathetic, and that’s when I felt my chest crack.
“Oh baby girl.” Grady’s arms came around me, and then Kennedy’s. There in the comfort of my friends’ arms, I allowed myself a private moment to fall apart because I was terrified.
Terrified of not being ready for what came next.
Terrified of facing it alone.
Terrified of having Reid turn his back on me one last time and never looking back.
The thought of not having him in my life – even as things stood between us now – was paralyzing.
“Have you told him?” Asked Kennedy, her blue eyes filled with care.
“No,” I replied around the lump in my throat. “But I know I’ll have to do it soon. My next doctor’s appointment is in four weeks, when I find out whether it’s a girl or a boy, and I’d like to think he’d want to be there for that.”
“What do you think he’ll say?”
I looked at Grady as he rubbed up and down my back. “I’m not sure. I think that scares me more than actually telling him.”
His gaze drifted up to meet Kennedy’s and a strange unspoken message passed between them.
“What?”
With a sigh, Kennedy sat down next to me and said, “We have to tell you something.”
Grady shifted on my other side, but I kept my eyes trained on Kennedy. My stomach dropped before she said anything, and my body stiffened in response.