I took a step forward and paused, listening. There was nothing. My eyes searched through the dark shapes of the living trees and watched the shadows on the ground for any suggestions of movement. Still there was no sign of anything. I took another step before waiting again. A cloud drifted across the moon, darkening the environment even further. I was fortunate that by now dawn couldn’t be far away. If there was anything waiting, then it would be easier to see when the sun rose. I debated my options then decided to take the high road, reaching out for the closest tree and swinging myself up onto its lower branches, then digging my feet into the rough bark to gain an effective foothold so I could climb higher.
There was a sudden groan and I froze, eyes flicking left and right. It sounded again and I realised that it was Aubrey himself making the noise. Guess he wasn’t dead after all then. I watched as he sat up, one hand rubbing at his forehead, and the other ripping out tufts of nearby grass.
“Fuck!” he shouted. He thumped the ground. “Fuck!” He picked himself and launched headfirst at the barrier, literally bouncing back off it and falling back down onto the ground.
I rolled my eyes. Really? I hadn’t told him to try and knock himself unconscious, just that he should check for weaknesses in the ward. Before he did it again, I dropped down from the tree and walked casually over to him. Not that I cared if he hurt himself, but there was no way that I was going to carry his sorry arse back down the path again if he managed to pass out completely.
When I reached him, he groaned again, but didn’t get up. I kicked his feet.
“Hey, butthead, was that wholly necessary?”
He muttered something inaudible. I leaned over him. “What was that?”
“Fat woman. Hideous. Naked. Hit me. Sat on me.”
Outstanding. Now he had a concussion and was bloody hallucinating. “We’re in a wood, not a stripper joint in Soho. Don’t see any naked women around here, Aubrey. I think maybe you’ve hit your head.”
He sat up and stared at me through the gloom. “Didn’t.”
“Did. I saw you do just that about two minutes ago in fact.”
“Didn’t.”
I put my hands on my hips. I was not going to get into this. “Stand the fuck up. We’re going to get out of here and see if we can make it to the nearest village before sunup. I’m hungry and I need a coffee.”
He held his hand out in the air, pointing it towards me in a gesture obviously designed to encourage me to help him to his feet.
“Aubrey,” I said, keeping my voice deliberately quiet, “let’s get one thing straight, you neurotic nutcase. I don’t care about you. My friends died as a direct result of your actions. Just because you’re not a freaking bloodsucker any more, does not mean that I suddenly like you or am in any way inclined to help you. Pick yourself up and stop acting like a child.”
His bottom lip started to quiver. I lifted a warning finger. “Do not, whatever you do, start to cry.”
He pulled himself together and stood up, although he was still pouting. I raised my eyebrows and he smoothed his features over, although I could tell it was an effort. I turned away from him, but had the sudden feeling that he was sticking his tongue out at me from behind my back. Without looking at him, I motioned at him to move to the front again and lead the way back down. I really did not need this - the sooner I ditched him, the better.
Chapter Eleven
By the time we reached the nearest village, a small place called Uffington, the sun was most definitely up. Aubrey continually attempted to shield himself from its gentle rays, darting from one side of the road to the other depending on where the most shade was to be had. He kept muttering away to himself. Occasionally I caught the odd word, which seemed to be focused around burning and pain. At one point, as he sprinted for a half derelict bus shelter to cower for half a minute, I called out that the sun was doing his pasty white vamp skin good, and extolled the virtues of vitamin B, but he paid me little attention. At least he’d given up on the hallucination of being squatted on by some obese naked lady though. The images running through my head had not been entirely conducive to keeping a straight face every time I looked at him.
Fortunately, the pretty little village seemed to cater for early risers and we came across a small coffee shop that was already open for business. The gratitude on Aubrey’s face that we were finally getting out of the sunlight was momentarily diverting, even if I didn’t quite have the heart to tell him that it wasn’t even 8am yet and the sun was only going to get stronger. Once inside we sat ourselves down at a small linen covered table towards the back. It suited Aubrey as it was about as far away from the wide window and the golden slanting rays as he could possibly get; it suited me as it meant I had a perfect vantage point in case anyone or anything passed by. Whatever it was that had decided that brutally slaughtering one of the most passive creatures of the Otherworld was a good idea had used the ward for a reason. It was definitely coming back, and I was going to be ready for it when it did.
A beaming cottage loaf of a woman bustled over. “What’ll be, duckies?”
Duckies? She had to be kidding me. I had to bite back the urge to quack nonsensically at her and instead ordered the full breakfast and two pots of coffee. I was bloody starving, and if I didn’t get some decent caffeine down me soon I reckoned I was liable to do something I’d end up regretting. Aubrey pointlessly asked for a plate of nothing but black pudding.. Once the woman had wandered back into the kitchen I gave him a glare that would have withered a lesser creature.
“What?” He exclaimed, a tad too loudly for my liking. The waitress might not be in the room, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t be able to hear him. “It’s made of blood. It’s about the only bloody blood I’m going to ever be able to get to eat again.” He started to snigger. “Bloody blood.” He snorted. “Did you see what I did there?”
I stared at him, completely unamused. He punched me on the arm. “Come on, Mack, lighten up. I know my joke sucked but it doesn’t need to create any bad blood between us.” He sniggered again.
Oh joy of abundant joys. I looked out of the window instead, and gritted my teeth. Thirty seconds away from the sun and he was already acting like an idiot again. I was tempted to call out to the woman and see whether she’d let me move a table and chair outside onto the sunny pavement. Perhaps then I might get some peace. Unfortunately, just as I thought that, a flicker of movement on the other side of the road caught my eye, and four figures moved into sight. I scowled as I recognised them. Beltran the Fae, Lucy the shifter, and two mages I’d seen lurking around the Arch-Mage on a previous occasion. No doubt one of the mages had cast the Divination spell to locate me, while the other was more adept at Protection and followed behind, faerie and shifter in their wake. I’d known that it wasn’t going to be long before they caught up to me, but I’d kind of been hoping that I’d have at least a day. The two mages stood together, directly opposite the coffee shop front door, with Lucy a few metres away on one side, and Beltran the same on the other. They didn’t look as if they were getting on along very well. All three of them were standing stiffly and awkwardly, mouths shut in grim lines and arms folded. In this small village they looked about as unobtrusive as a sodding fire breathing dragon would.
Aubrey’s eyes followed my gaze. When he saw who was out there he moved faster than I would have thought possible, ducking his head under the table and curling into a small ball. Okay then.
The woman walked back in, carrying two steaming plates of food. She clocked Aubrey immediately. To be fair, it wasn’t hard to do. His arse was jutting out from under the table cloth in a most peculiar fashion. Shooting him a bemused look, she edged over and put the plates down. I looked at her and she looked at me. Then I shrugged as if to say ‘what can you do?’ She nodded slowly.
“So, er, where’s your friend gone?”
“He’s popped out to the little boy’s room,” I answered, slowly, raising my eyebrows at her.
“Hmm, well, I hope he comes back before his food gets cold.” She said this last part loudly and pointedly.
I forced my lips to curve up in a smile and replied in the same manner. “Yes. It would be foolish of him if he were to miss all this lovely black pudding. Tell me, is it true that it’s made of blood?”
There was a distinct moan from under the table.
Her eyes darted underneath and then met mine again. “Why, yes. It’s really rather delicious though, you should try some.”
“Well, there’s a whole plate here. I could always try some of my, erm, companion’s. I’m sure he’d never notice if any was missing.”
There was a sudden thump and the gleaming cutlery on the table jumped and clattered. Aubrey’s head had clearly just connected with the underside of the wood. The waitress put her hand over her mouth and choked back what was apparently threatening to be quite a guffaw.
“I’ll just go back to the kitchen now,” she said, rather obviously, moving backwards while keeping a perhaps too attentive eye on Aubrey’s backside.
I leaned back in my chair as she left. This was suddenly proving a more entertaining breakfast than I could have possibly envisaged. I reached over and took a sip of my coffee. It was a darn sight better than the muck I’d had on the train. I closed my eyes momentarily in simple happiness as the woman left us in peace. What she thought was going on, I had absolutely no idea. I guessed I just had to be grateful that she wasn’t going to pry too closely into the reasons why Aubrey had decided to lurk under one of her pretty tables.
A hand grabbed my ankle. “Mack,” he hissed.
I ignored him and took another sip, watching my trackers who were still standing stiffly on the other side of the street and idly wondering whether it would be worth my while to try and give them the slip.
The hand tightened. “Mack!” Aubrey repeated.
“Mmm?” I eventually answered.
“Pass me my plate. I can eat from under here.”