"What?" I ground out.
"I don't know what to say Julia, except that it was a mistake I made a long time ago. One I've spent the last six years trying to make up for."
"I did the math Brad. You were MARRIED then. If it wasn't bad enough."
"I told you I had been unfaith-"
"Stop it Brad. Please. I know I'm young, but I'm not out f**king around for a good time. I know you see sex as a cavalier passer of time, but I don't. I'm looking for him - the one. Someone I can marry, and have kids with, and not worry that he's out f**king half the town while I'm washing his f**king laundry. And he's not you. I haven't seen a more clear-cut case of NOT THE ONE in a long time. So I realize that me ignoring you is a black mark on your f**king conquest record, but I don't really give a damn. Because I am looking out for me. And you are nothing but a time bomb ticking on my well-being. PLUS *I felt tears start welling and my voice cracking and fought to keep composure* these are BRAND NEW Manolo Blaniks, which I spent a lot of f**king money on, and you and your stupid dramatic elevator act ruined them! They're suede and now they are f**king ruined!" I sagged against the steel stairwell door and sobbed, my tear ducts fully opened now, my beautiful new shoes the final straw.
He caught me, and lifted me easily, setting me down gently on the top step, and sat next to me, looking out, thinking. He pulled off his soaking wet suit jacket and folded it over his lap.
"Your right, Julia. I'm not any good for you, and you're smart to stay away. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking."
My sobs subsided a bit, and turned into sniffles as I tried to get my emotions under reasonable control.
"I guess the issue is, I want happily ever after too. I don't want to be living alone in my big house, eating breakfast with a housekeeper that doesn't have more than 15 English words in her vocabulary. The parties and trips are to keep me distracted from realizing that I have nothing, nobody. I don't ever want to live a dull life. But I need some stability, I want a partner who can enjoy this lifestyle with me."
"So marry. I'm sure you have a waiting list a mile long. Just go through your client list." I fought to keep a smile off my face at the subtle dig.
He laughed, briefly. "It's complicated. The trophy wives waiting in the wings don't get my sexual needs. And the girls that do, aren't ones I want to grow old with, or spend a Saturday afternoon at the house with."
"Your sexual needs being the need to go and sleep around, cheat?" I huffed into my hands, trying to dry at least one part of my body.
"No. I don't want to get into it with you."
We sat for a minute, not speaking.
"So many of the divorces I deal with, are for superficial marriages. The couple marries out of loneliness, or fear of being alone, or for convenience, or for status or money. Then they just end up, two people, living their separate lives in the same house until one of them cheats, or one of them decides they want something more fulfilling."
I looked at my ruined shoes and sighed. "I think that's what my parent's marriage is like. They never fight, and they've been together forever, but they just seem… I don't know. apart, I guess. Mom has her work, and when she's not there she's doing stuff with friends. Dad spends all his time out at our lake house fishing, or fixing stuff in the garage. That's what I grew up knowing, and I don't want that for my life. I want someone I can't stay away from, who I want to spend every free moment with.” I hugged my knees and rested my chin on them. “Maybe it's an unrealistic expectation."
He groaned, and reached over, fingering a piece of my wet hair. I flinched, but didn't push his hand away.
"What if what we're looking for is each other?" he asked quietly.
I turned and stared at him. "You've got to be kidding me." In his eyes I saw a flicker of vulnerability, but that disappeared before I could grab hold of it.
"Look, we're both looking for a soul mate, right? And I know you want your prince to come riding up, all perfect and unmarred, but this is real life. Typically the best things come from the most screwed up circumstances. How do we know we aren't the person we both are searching for?" I began to fluster, spitting out words in quick succession, but he held up a hand, quieting me. I glared at him. "Build a case - Give me supporting evidence,” he said, with a challenging look.
"Fine. Next time don't give me such a cakewalk for my first assignment."
He raised an eyebrow at me. "Don't underestimate your opponent, Ms. Campbell."
I rolled my eyes and started. "First off, don't get offended by anything I'm about to say. I'm stating the facts, and if you don't like them, tough shit."
He grinned at me. "My skin is very tough Julia. I promise to not get my feelings hurt."
"Oh-kay, there are multiple reasons why you would not be my sole mate." I faltered slightly as I tried to organize my thoughts. "One, you have a proven history of being unfaithful. Two, you are deceitful. Three, you have control issues. Four, you seem to have some mysterious sexual ailment that you refuse to discuss. I folded my arms and looked at him, waiting for his response.
"Well, first off, I have more life experience than you, and have seen what infidelity and deceit can do to a relationship. I therefore have more awareness of the gravity of unfaithful actions and would not be susceptible to temptation. A younger, or less sexually experienced man, would not have the bearing or grasp of the consequences and would be more likely to succumb to temptation outside the marriage."
I snorted in response to that load of crap.
"In response to your earlier statement that I am deceitful, that is absolutely incorrect. I have never mislead you or lied to you. I have been nothing but honest to you, regardless if it caused your opinion of me to be diminished." He paused, waiting for an argument from me, but I shrugged. He got me there. He was a pig, but he was an honest, or rather unapologetic pig.
"We are compatible. We get along well, enjoy each other's company, and desire a similar lifestyle. I believe in living life to the fullest, and as my partner you wouldn't have to worry about me burying myself in work."
"I don't think anyone in this building is worried about that happening."
"I believe that sex is crucial to a relationship, and have never met a more gorgeous, sexual women."
I punched him in the arm. "Oh my god, how many women have you said THAT to?"
He turned and looked me dead in the eye. "I'm serious. You have all of the physical traits I look for in a woman. Most women I pick apart in my mind, wishing that this part or that part of them was different. But I don't do that when I’m with you. Even your imperfections I find attractive."