Unable to see how his mind works like I can the other characters, I've been locked in a silent battle with him since starting the first chapter. I want to hate him for being what he is, but find myself compelled to reread every one of his passages instead.
Fed up, I close the laptop. The last thing I want today is a story I have to dissect. I need a distraction, not another stupid man intent on infuriating me.
"You're giving me a headache. You and every other man on this planet," I mutter to the imaginary knight. "What the hell are you waiting for? Why don't you just tell me your story the way every other character does? And why is it taking LF so long to upload a new chapter?"
A fictional man, of course, can't answer.
"At least you're mortally wounded at the battle of Brown Sun Lake, you bastard. I'm hoping she leaves you that way. I can't believe she misspelled coincidence twice in the first two chapters, either. Ever heard of spell-check, LF?" I ask no one in particular. "You're stressing me out! You know what will make this easier? Wine."
I've got a couple of nice bottles I had been saving for the wedding rehearsal. I'm halfway to the kitchen when I realize there's something else I've been saving for that occasion.
The gorgeous, purple dress my mother bought me.
Halting, I debate whether or not drinking wine in a fancy dress at home makes me desperate or is a reasonable way to cope.
One of my three cats meows from his spot on the kitty jungle gym in one corner. My shoulders slump.
"You're right. I really am gonna end up a crazy, single, cat lady," I whisper, new tears forming. "Why can't the heroes in books be real?"
My cat blinks at me, but doesn't answer.
"I hate my life. There's no happily-ever-after in the real world." I'd give anything for a do-over, another chance to be someone worthy of a fictional Hero instead of a wallflower with insecurity issues.
Pretty certain I'll die a crazy old maid, I decide to wear my prettiest dress, break out the wine and chocolate and watch Pride and Prejudice. Maybe when I wake up in the morning, there will be a new chapter waiting for me.