Turning around, I see an outhouse in the corner where nothing was before. "That's really . . ." Whatever. It's a book. If outhouses magically appear, I'll be thankful I'm not peeing on the ground.
I walk in, do my business, and leave. When I look over my shoulder, the outhouse is gone again.
Not going to say anything. I grit my teeth. I'm making a list of things to tell LF when this adventure is over.
"Sister!" the call comes from outside the tree. A second woman enters, this one the exact opposite of the beautiful woman. She's short and squat with medium length, stiff dark hair and skin a tad too pale for her hair, and darker green eyes. Her eyes are close together, her nose large, and her bangs blocking the upper half of her face.
Sister? I look between them. One makes me feel as pretty and special as a weed while the other makes me feel like the most beautiful orchid in the world.
"You are not supposed to be here!" says the ugly duckling.
"I do as I please, as well you know."
Ugly Duckling is angry. Her thin lips are pressed together, her cheeks flushed.
"Excuse my sister. She has a much more disciplined view of our roles here," the Disney Princess tells me, her smile warm and words gentle.
"'Tis not our roles that bothers me. You were warned!" the other responds. "You must return to the rear!"
Disney Princess smiles elegantly and sweeps out of the tree, a trail of flower-scented perfume trailing.
The squire sighs dreamily as she goes, his eyes on her form. I can't blame him. I'd give anything to be her size.
So the Shadow Knight does have a love story. I'm not certain what to think of that. I guess I thought . . . well . . . hoped . . .
Whatever. This isn't my world. I shake my head, dismissing the Beauty and the Beast couple. With any luck, I'll never see them again and can leave this place.
"Hey. Wake up and tell me where I'm supposed to go," I say, snapping my fingers in front of the squire's face.
"Aye. We will go." He pulls out a round shield of stiff leather with straps, followed by a sheathed sword much smaller than the barbaric Shadow Knight's. Offering them to me, he starts to smile.
"No, thanks," I say.
"You'll fight them without weapons? With only your magic?" There's awe in his voice.
"Uh, no. That's not really the plan."
He appears confused by this. I feel bad for him, but am more concerned about finding my way home than whatever it is he's talking about.