The tears start and I drop onto the couch, sobbing. Traumatized when I woke up in a different world, I'm equally horrified to realize I'd rather be someone special in a place that doesn't exist than no one in reality.
I cry until I'm exhausted then blearily go to my bedroom and pull on a pair of my favorite yoga pants and a t-shirt. I replace my Black Moon Draw boots and decide they look pretty chic with the yoga pants tucked in.
Rubbing my face, I try to figure out what to do. I can't let Black Moon Draw go. I can't let him go. Unable to meekly accept my place in this world the way I would have a week before, I return to the one thing that might help me. A different kind of sorrow is settling into my chest, one that aches too much for tears. I'm hollowed out, empty, useless.
"He wouldn't give up. I can't either." But god, do I feel like it!
Sitting in front of my computer, I begin to read the unfinished tale of Black Moon Draw, reliving every emotion and adventure from the beginning. I sob when I read the parts between the Shadow Knight and me, able to see in fiction what I couldn't living it - that we've been meant to be together since the beginning. I smile at my interactions with my squire and wistfully decide, should we meet again, I'll sit down to learn more about him. He's smart and brave, if ill prepared to be a warrior.
As I read, I search for clues I might've missed, hints at what I'm supposed to do next or how I can return. Sitting up straight, I reread the passages from my dream of the warrior queen.
"Why is it called a Heart?" I ask.
She swipes at her tears and lowers the medallion, stepping away. "'Twas the nickname my husband gave me. I was his heart, his love, his queen. This was fashioned as a wedding present. Magic molded this gem, but our love gave it power."
The words reverberate around my skull. The Red Knight had been ordered by Brown Sun Lake to capture the Heart.
The Shadow Knight of a thousand years ago had given the magic of the world to his Heart.
My hand goes to where the medallion hung at my chest. Magic still worked for me, albeit even less reliably, after the medallion was destroyed. How was that possible?
I was his heart, his love, his queen. The warrior queen had said.
"The Heart of Black Moon Draw," I whisper aloud. "It's not a medallion. It's a person."