"Do you have any gum?" Korbie asked, and before I could stop her, she opened my glove box and Calvin's CD collection tumbled out. She picked it up and eyed it quizzically. "Isn't this my brother's?" I'd been caught; might as well own it. "I took it from his car this morning at the gas station. He was being a jerk. I was totally justified. Don't worry, I'll give it back."
"Are you sure you're okay with the whole Calvin thing?" Korbie asked, clearly finding it strange that I'd stolen his CDs. "He's just a butt-face to me, but I keep reminding myself that you guys were, like, together. Or whatever. We can talk about it as much as you want-just don't bring up kissing. The thought of anyone swapping spit with my brother, especially you, is vomit-inducing." She shoved her finger down her throat for emphasis.
"Totally over him." What a big fat lie. I was not over Calvin. The fake boyfriend I felt compelled to make up proved it. Before this morning, I really believed I'd moved on, but when I saw Cal, my repressed emotions had boiled to the surface. I hated that I still felt something for him, even if it was intense negative emotion. I hated that I was still giving him power to hurt me. I had so many bad memories inextricably linked to Calvin. Did Korbie not remember that he broke up with me the night of homecoming? I had a dress, had dinner reservations at Ruby Tuesday, and had paid my and Calvin's portion of the limo rental. And I was up for homecoming queen! I had dreamed countless times of what it would feel like to stand on the football held wearing a crown, beaming as the crowd clapped and cheered, and how it would feel afterward, dancing in Calvin's arms.
We'd planned to meet at my house at eight, and when eight-thirty rolled around with still no Cal, I actually worried he'd been in an accident. I knew his flight wasn't delayed-I'd tracked its progress online. The rest of our group had left in the limo, and I was on the brink of tears.
And then the phone rang. Calvin hadn't even left California. He'd waited until the last minute to call, and he didn't bother to fake an apologetic tone. In a smooth, unconcerned voice, he told me he wasn't coming.
"You waited until now to tell me?" I exclaimed.
"I've had a lot on my mind."
"This is so typical. You haven't called me in weeks. You haven't returned any of my calls in days." Calvin wasn't the same person since leaving for college. It was like he got a taste of freedom, and everything changed. I was no longer a priority.
"I should have known you'd do something like this,” I snapped. I was trying so hard not to cry. He wasn't coming. I didn't have a date for homecoming.
"You're monitoring the frequency of my calls? I'm not sure how I feel about that, Britt."
"Seriously? You're making me out to be the creep? Do you know how much you're letting me down right now?"
"You're exactly like my dad, always whining that I'm not good enough,” he said defensively.
"You're an ass**le!"
"Maybe we shouldn't be in a relationship,” he said stiffly.
"Maybe we shouldn't!"
The worst part was, I could hear loud music and sports broadcasts in the background. He was in a bar. I'd placed so many expectations on this night, and he was getting drunk. I slammed the phone down and burst into tears.
These memories were starting to make me grumpy. I really wished I didn't have to talk about Calvin. It was chipping away at my determination to keep a positive attitude. It would be much easier to fake happy if I didn't have to waste energy convincing the whole world that I was peachy, just peachy.
"It's not going to be weird with him around?" Korbie pressed. "Don't be ridiculous."
She narrowed her eyes speculatively. "You're not going to use this opportunity to hook up with him again, are you?"
"Gross. please never ask me that again." But the thought had occurred to me. It totally had. What if Calvin made a pass at me? It wasn't hard to imagine. Korbie and Bear would be all over each other. Which left Calvin and me. It wouldn't surprise me if he tried something. Which meant I had to decide right now if I was going to let him.
Maybe, if I thought he'd really moved on, I could let it drop. But the way he'd looked at me at the 7-Eleven? When I was flirting with Mason? If that wasn't regret, I didn't know what was.
But this time, I decided, I was going to make him work for it. He'd humiliated me, and he had a lot of making up for it to do. I wouldn't take him back until he'd sufficiently suffered. A little groveling with a cherry on top. Calvin knew I wasn't a cheater, which would work to my advantage. I'd have some fun with him and then dump him, claiming guilt over cheating on my fake boyfriend.
You know what they say about payback? Pretty soon, Calvin was going to know too.
Glad that I finally had a plan, I settled deeper into my seat, feeling smugly triumphant and ready for the long week ahead.
Korbie unzipped the CD case, but before she could flip through the CDs, she noticed a folded paper in the front of the case. "Wow, check this out."
I glanced sideways. She was holding a topographic map of Grand Teton National Park-the kind you get from a park ranger station-but this one had notes jotted everywhere in Calvin's handwriting. It folded in thirds, and then again in half, and the coloring was faded, the edges frayed. Calvin had clearly made good use of it.
"Calvin's marked all the best hiking trails,” Korbie said. "Look how far he's hiked-there are notes everywhere. It must have taken him years to do this. I know I always teased him for being such an outdoor nerd, but this is kind of cool."
"Let me see." I took the map, flattening it to the steering wheel and glancing between it and the road. Calvin had marked more than hiking trails. The map was riddled with notes detailing snowmobile trails, unpaved roads, emergency shelters, a ranger station, scenic points of interest, hunting grounds, unpolluted lakes and streams, and wildlife crossings. Idlewilde was also marked. To a hiker stranded in the mountains, the map would be a useful survival tool.
We were still too far away to find our location on Calvin's map, but I was seriously considering trading it for Mr. Versteeg's inferior notes once we got closer.
"You definitely have to give Calvin the map back,” Korbie insisted.
I refolded the map, tucking it into the back pocket of my shorts. A map this painstakingly detailed would be worth something to Calvin. I'd return it. But first I'd make him sweat a little.
Thirty minutes later, the mixtape came to an end with "Every Day Is a Winding Road,” by Sheryl Crow. The road had steepened, and we zigzagged up the mountain on switchbacks. The shoulders of the road fell away sharply, and I leaned forward over the steering wheel, concentrating around each hairpin curve. One misguided turn would send us careering over the mountainside. The realization was as thrilling as it was heart stopping.