“Was that an invitation? Because I’d marry you so hard.” He smiled at her, and she laughed.
“Pay attention to your birds,” she chastised, but flashed him a grin.
I looked at the lever in front of me. “Lift and pull,” I repeated, fingering the latch.
“It’s this one here. Slide it over, then lift up and pull it out.” His voice washed over me, and my chest burned, trying to keep a lid on that damned box of feelings.
Slowly, I raised my eyes past his light-blue board shorts and tight white tee with Masters & Son emblazoned on the front until I reached his eyes. My breath abandoned me.
“Can you do it?” he asked softly, despite the hardest expression I’d ever seen on his face. It was like he’d been carved out of stone, each line stiff, unyielding. But his eyes locked on to mine, and he was there, my Grayson. Lightning arced between us as if he’d touched me. God, I needed him to touch me. Kiss me. Remind me why love was worth the gamble even when the outcome had already been determined. My lips parted, and his gazed dropped to them and then lifted to my eyes. Raw hunger radiated from him, the kind that used to end with me pushed against the nearest flat surface.
My pulse jumped, remembering his hands on me, his tongue worshiping me. The way he gasped my name when I ran my lips down his stomach. My body hummed.
“The birds,” he whispered. “Do you have the lever?”
How the hell was he speaking? I nodded my head wordlessly, and he gave me a curt nod of his own before moving down the line.
“Holy shit, I may need a cigarette after all that eye sex,” Anna said, fanning herself. “You two always like that?”
“Yeah,” I sighed.
“Is the sex that hot, too?”
“Hotter.” I tried, but my eyes followed him without permission, thirsty for the sight of him.
“Any hotter and the pier would have caught fire,” she murmured.
“Ready?” Josh signaled. “Banner!”
Ember and Mrs. Donovan unfurled the banner, and then we all stood. Jagger and Paisley were in the water beneath us, and my heart almost exploded from the love, the perfection of this moment for them.
“She said yes!” Jagger shouted, and we erupted in cheers. I turned to the box. Slide. Lift. Pull. The doors flew open and my birds took to the sky, joining the rest of the enormous flock. The sky turned white, and I laughed, unable to suppress the sheer joy of it.
We all walked down the pier to meet them on the beach, and my footsteps felt light, easy. The breeze kicked up my skirt, and I used both hands to hold down the soft green eyelet fabric.
Jagger carried Paisley from the water, and as soon as her feet touched the sand, she ran to her parents. They held on to her like she was their most precious possession, and then grabbed Jagger into the hug. Jagger reached for Anna and brought her in.
I’d never seen anything as beautiful. My smile was so big that it almost hurt my cheeks, and tears pricked at my eyes as the moment overwhelmed me. This was the ultimate depiction of love in its most beautiful state.
Pure. Raw. All-encompassing.
I flicked away a tear as Jagger moved, and my eyes locked on Grayson.
He stared at me, the love I’d so sorely needed pouring from his eyes, saying everything we couldn’t. This could have been us. This could still be us.
Have a little faith in me.
The craving to speak to him overruled logic, but General Donovan was already talking to him by the time I made it over.
“So you turned in your duty station requests last week, right?”
I paused behind Paisley’s dad, waiting for Grayson’s response.
“Yes, sir.”
“Well, Jagger tells me you’re up at the top of the OML, so it shouldn’t be that hard to get your first choice if you stay there.”
“No, sir.”
“Where were your three choices?”
I held my breath. At least one of them, Grayson. Just one.
“Well, Fort Bragg, North Carolina, sir. That’s my top choice.”
I pushed past the ache in my chest for that one. It wasn’t unexpected.
“Good post. You have ties to the area?”
“That’s home for me, sir. My loved ones are there.”
My ears roared, the sound louder than the ocean.
“And your other two choices?”
“Fort Campbell, Kentucky, and Fort Stewart, Georgia, sir.”
That tiny swell of hope that had sprung up watching the proposal died a slow, agonizing death, bleeding out at my feet in a heap of regret.
“Well, if you can’t get North Carolina, I guess those are the closest for you…”
General Donovan’s voice faded as I walked away, my heart protesting each step as I made my way across the beach. Grayson knew I wanted to go to Colorado, and out of his three choices, none of them were even close.
I was so fucking done with this.
“Sam!” he called out from behind me, but I didn’t stop. Stopping would mean surrendering to him, and I couldn’t do that anymore.
“Please say something.” It was the plea in his voice that broke me.
I turned and looked up at him, his frame so large he almost blocked out the whole sunset. What could I possibly say to him at this point? “I miss you,” I admitted. “Every time I take a breath, my chest hurts because I miss you so much, and it hurts, Grayson. Everything hurts, all the time.”
“Sam,” he whispered, but I moved before he could touch me.