Race opened the door wearing nothing but a pair of low-slung jeans and a grumpy glower on his too pretty face. His golden hair was messed and his green eyes looked dark and tired. He propped a shoulder on the door and leaned, crossing his arms over his smooth and defined chest. Boys that looked like him shouldn’t be threatening, but he was and I felt the warning zip along my nerves.
“Hey. Do you know where Booker is? I borrowed something from him and I really need to give it back.”
I was trying really hard to keep my gaze focused on his, but that was a lot of exposed skin, and really, I was only human.
Race lifted a tawny eyebrow at me. “He spent the night in jail. It was a pain in the ass to bond him out but he should be home soon. He was released this morning.”
I frowned. “He usually comes by as soon as Titus leaves for work. I haven’t seen him.”
He lifted a hand and ran it across his jaw. “I don’t know where he is, then. I’m not his keeper. After everything that happened yesterday, Bry and Karsen are staying home, so maybe he figured he deserved a day off.”
Booker didn’t seem like the type that needed a day off, but I didn’t share this opinion with Race. I took a step back and told him, “Well, if he does pop up, can you send him my way? I’m sorry about what happened to Karsen yesterday. Conner doesn’t have any limits.”
“No, he doesn’t, and he crossed a line there is no going back from.” The threat was there plain as day. I gulped a little.
“I agree. In fact I was just thinking I needed to figure out a way to be more visible, to be out there more so that if Conner wants to make a move, he can. You did a great job of making this place safe and secure. No one can get to me in here.”
He cocked his head to the side a little bit and considered me thoughtfully. He looked at me like I was a puzzle piece and he was trying to figure out where I fit in the grand scheme of things.
“You’re really willing to risk your neck like that?”
I gave a bitter-sounding laugh and tilted my chin up defiantly. “I am, and I kind of don’t have a choice. The feds are dropping the case against Novak’s squad. Conner blew it apart, so they don’t need me. The only way I’m useful is to bring Conner down. They haven’t said anything yet but the feds already told Titus my deal goes away if I don’t help bring Conner in. I can’t do anything from inside this stronghold. Someone needs a shot at him and I don’t think you’ll argue it doesn’t matter who takes it.”
He nodded slowly. “So what, you still want someone to cap Roark for you or do you want Titus to do his job?”
I flinched and lifted my arms to cross them over my chest. “I’ve decided it’s not up to me to decide that. Conner is an awful person who will continue to do awful things, so I ultimately only want for him to get what he deserves. I don’t want anyone else hurt in the process.”
Race pushed off the door and tunneled his fingers through his blond hair. The golden-tinted locks had nose-dived from shaggy into longish. Surprisingly it worked for him. The look made him all the more pretty. “If you don’t care about the outcome, then my advice is to hit up Nassir. Go ask him for a job at Spanky’s. Tell him what you have planned. Let him know that you’ll bring Roark right to his front door as long as he keeps you breathing. Nassir won’t hesitate. He’ll agree to anything to get his hands on Roark. Whether or not he’ll keep up the end of the deal that keeps you alive is questionable. It’s not smart to trust Nassir.” He laughed a little and pointed at me. “Even though there’s no way in hell Titus is going to let you do that. Even with the feds watching your back, he won’t like your main line of defense coming from a gangster and a pimp.”
I gulped a little and squeezed myself tighter. “He’s not going to have much of a choice. Eventually the feds will force his hand, and I’ll end up out there on my own anyway. I think I would rather take my chances with Nassir. At least he’ll shoot first and save the interrogation for later.”
Race made a noise of agreement and looked over his shoulder as a feminine voice called his name.
“Give me an hour and I’ll go down to the club with you since Booker is missing in action. Nassir might not hear you out, but if I go in with you, he’ll take five minutes to listen to the tale you have to tell. You need to tell Titus what you’re doing, though. I don’t need him banging on my door in the middle of the night looking to kick my ass from here back to the Hill.”
I reluctantly agreed to his stipulation and made my way back upstairs. I stopped at Booker’s door on the way and pounded on it just to make sure he wasn’t home. I needed to ditch the gun. Just having it in my possession made me feel guilty and dirty.
When Titus had told me that he was good with whatever happened after our reckless bout of unprotected sex, I thought I had heard him wrong. Bringing a kid into this world, especially with things as unpredictable and uncertain as they were now, was a horrible idea. It was foolish and totally not something I would have ever considered before him. But if he was willing to do whatever it took, then so was I, and that meant no more lying, no more subterfuge, and no more wishing I was anything more than I was. I wouldn’t ever be perfect and I had really screwed up, but after he let me in and let me see that he had flaws similar to my own, I no longer felt like I had to be a better version of myself to deserve him.
Nibbling nervously on my lip I called his cell phone and waited anxiously for him to answer. I was secretly hoping it would just go to voice mail and I could leave a rambling, incoherent message explaining what my new plan was, but no such luck.
“Hello?” His deep voice came across the line and instantly my tongue got stuck to the roof of my mouth.
I had to clear my throat before I could begin. There was the sound of sirens and the noise of traffic and voices in the background.
“Hey, are you busy?” Of course he was. I could hear how busy he was, but he shouted something and then the background noise faded away.
“Yeah, but I have a minute. What’s up? Is everything okay?”
I laughed a tad hysterically. I couldn’t believe he stepped away from his job for me, even if it was just for a second. What he did was such a huge part of who he was that the significance of the gesture wasn’t lost on me at all.
“Everything is fine, but what I’m about to tell you isn’t going to make you happy.”