Having reached the Secunderabad Railway Station with such wayward thoughts, Roopa all but fumbled at the Enquiry Counter. However, on learning that the Godavari was expected shortly, such was her relief that she didn’t bother to check up whether she was early in coming or the train was late in arriving.
Pregnant with expectations all again, she rushed to the designated platform and awaited their arrival with all her heart. ‘Post-nuptials, how would Raja look?’ as she thought, she tried to envision him with a peculiar sense of thrill. Instinctively she recalled the glow on Sathyam’s face in the wake of their first night, and felt, ‘Raja must be looking at his handsomest best given his unique looks.’ As she recalled his enamored demeanor and the longing touch, she craved even more for him.
‘It feels as though we met only the other day,’ she thought in fondness. ‘How two weeks have passed since! Oh, when weeks could roll by in his thoughts, then years could be but fleeting moments in his company. Why does he never leave my thoughts? It’s as if I’m incapable of holding any picture other than his persona now! It’s as though he has become an immutable essence of my consciousness.’
‘Would he have given me a damn all these days?’ it crossed her mind to her consternation. ‘Were it possible that he wouldn’t have thought about me at all? But then, didn’t the love bug bite us in the same vein? But still, wasn’t it just a brief encounter? Is it possible that it was just an agreeable distraction for him? Moreover, hasn’t he been with his beautiful bride all the while? Oh, how stupid of me to expect that he would long for me!’
Though startled by the thought, she nevertheless conjectured in hope, ‘He loves Sandhya for sure, and don’t I rejoice at her fortune for that. Still can’t he feel some fondness for me as well? In spite of his preoccupation with Sandhya, shouldn’t he be thinking about me in blissful anticipation? Of course, the same way I think of him while in Sathyam’s arms.’
‘What if the glow of my attraction had paled by Sandhya’s effervescence in his eyes?’ she thought in fright, as her doubts resurfaced. ‘Sandhya’s ardency should’ve nipped his passion for me in the bud. Oh, don’t I know how ardent she is. Besides, her ethereal beauty should’ve bewitched him, blinding his eyes to my charms forever. The softness of her manner should’ve seeped into the soft centre he could have nursed for me in his heart. Her love by now could have satiated his lust, obliterating the traces of his infatuation for me.’